


The Devil's in the Memories

by adVENTitiious



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Amnesiac Lucifer, Cas isn't god in this, Creepy, Lucifer becomes more Luciferish as story progresses, M/M, Meddling Gabriel, Romance, Sam is conflicted, Samifer - Freeform, Worried Dean, Yeah it can be, as per usual, it's a good thing I promise, slight time shifting of events
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-13
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2018-10-04 16:23:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 71,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10283027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adVENTitiious/pseuds/adVENTitiious
Summary: Lucifer is freed from his cage with a catch: he has lost all of his personal memories. Sam is still dealing with the trauma endured in hell when he runs into the amnesiac archangel who fell from the sky. With no feasible plan to kill him yet, Sam decides to keep a close eye on the devil. Without his memories though, Lucifer seems to be a much different person than the hallucination that's haunting Sam, but then things start to get complicated...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sedated](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sedated/gifts).



Have you ever wanted to read one of those stories where an uncaring, rich guy is struck by a car or falls and hits his head and gets amnesia, only to be discovered by _none_ other than his assistant, or low-level employee, or even regular hooker? And all the while he/she is nursing him back to health, and maybe falling for him too against their better judgement, he doesn't remember _any_ _thing_ that made him the person he'd become?

Well, what if to make it a _little_ more interesting it were a certain fallen archangel, and the 'caretaker' is none other than Sam Winchester, his true vessel?

* * *

"I _told_ you, Dean, I need some time alone. I know you think you did the right thing about Amy, but I don't." Sam Winchester clenched his back teeth together, his jaw muscles bouncing as he listened impatiently to the voice on the other end. "I don't _care_ why you did it, you promised me."

The tall brunet stopped on the busy sidewalk in New York, the city. He was on the corner of West 48th Street and Ninth Avenue. The smell of chicken wafted in the cool air as a door to a popular chain restaurant opened and then closed behind him. "No, I'm in Wisconsin, I'm not telling you the city. It's a small case, now I've got to go, Dean, I'm meeting an officer at a scene, and I'm late." Sam rolled his eyes, and he didn't notice as a group of teenage boys carrying skateboards pushed around him. "I'm going to stop you there, I gotta go."

Sam tapped the red end button on his phone with a sigh, the gruff tone of Dean's voice cutting off abruptly. He stuffed the phone in his front jeans pocket as he crossed the road just as a walk signal began to flash, the six-foot-four guy's view quite a few inches higher than the majority of pedestrians surrounding him in the big city.

He'd lied to Dean, but Dean had lied to _him_ and about something _much_ worse. The hunter's gaze darkened as he remembered what his older brother had done behind his back. When he'd lied to him afterward he hadn't even batted an eye.

"It's because he thinks you're _weak_."

Sam flexed his head to one side as he continued on. He wasn't in the mood for hallucinations, because that's what they were.

They weren't real. _He_ wasn't real.

"Come on, _Sam_ , it's just me and you now and 8.4 million New Yorkers, no need to be so prude," the hallucination of Lucifer insisted lazily as he strolled alongside him. "If I didn't know any better I'd think you were looking for me... Hell's Kitchen? _Hmm_?"

Sam stopped abruptly, his hands balled into fists. He wouldn't talk to it, he wouldn't—

Screams and shouts and the sounds of car breaks squealing interrupted Sam's thoughts.

"What was that? Did you see it fall from the sky!?"

"Someone call 911! There's a guy, he's been hit!" was shouted, and Sam began to walk quickly towards the chaos, pushing carefully around people as he worked to get to where there was a growing crowd of onlookers.

A taxi driver was leaning on the open door of his car, a fresh cut on his left hand bleeding and going unnoticed, there was a growing line of vehicles piling up behind him. "He just fell from the sky, he just, he just fell... from the sky..." the guy was muttering as he stared at nothing, looking in shock.

Sam frowned, and he stretched his neck as he continued to edge to the front, catching a glimpse of a man lying on the road. He was dressed in expensive black dress pants and a pressed, light pink button up shirt. He had spiky, dark blond hair...

Sam stopped, standing at the front of the crowd as he looked down into a familiar face. Dread pooled in his stomach, it couldn't be, it had to be a hallucination. There was no way it was actually Lucifer.

"Did you say Lucifer? You know him, buddy?" the taxi cab driver said, suddenly with it and sounding nervous. "Hey, you know him?"

"Huh?" Sam looked up, not realizing he had moved to stand right by the devil look alike. Car horns had began to honk from the traffic congestion, and there was a siren in the far-off distance.

"Is he your friend, I'm sorry, I swear, he came out of nowhere!"

Sam blinked, and then he looked back down. The front of the taxi that had hit the guy, who _wasn't_ Lucifer, was dented up in the front, its hood mashed in like it had ran into a huge metal pole instead of a person. Green eyes flicked back to the unconscious guy... there were no visible marks on him that he could see.

The hunter swallowed thickly, and he leaned over the guy.

"Ohhh, who's _that_ looker?"

"Shut up," Sam muttered distractedly, not willing to entertain the fact that he was possibly hallucinating more than one Lucifer, because there were a lot of people around, and if this was somehow the _real_ Lucifer they were all possibly in danger.

He placed his pointer and middle finger just under the guy's jawline, checking for a pulse. It was strong.

"You a doctor?"

Sam glanced up, noting the guy's voice had become more breathy. "Uh, no, I'm an FBI agent," he lied easily, used to the drill, "you should sit down, Sir, until the ambulance gets here, you look like you need the rest."

The guy nodded, eyes widening in what looked like fear. "Yes, Sir, I—you saw that though, it wasn't my fault, he fell from that building or space or something, I dunno, but it wasn't my fault."

"Just sit, please, I need to see to him. The police will talk to you about it," Sam said quietly and then he turned his attention back down to the guy. He could hear curious voices loudly saying something similar. _Fell from the sky._ Sam closed his eyes tightly as he decided what he should do. Sirens were growing even closer. The man on the road began to move some, groaning in an eerily familiar tone.

He sucked in a sharp breath and looped his arm underneath the guy's upper body, pulling him up slowly.

"Is that _safe_? I hit him going at least twenty—"

"I'm taking him over to the shade, I checked his spine, it's not broken," he lied as he carried the majority of the waking man's weight. He began to stumble along some after a few steps, which only alarmed Sam more as he picked up his pace. "Excuse us, excuse us," he said gruffly, moving through the crowd before anyone tried to stop him.

"What's going on?"

Sam felt his lungs fully evacuate at the voice as he continued to walk, pulling the guy along with him. He needed to find somewhere quick before the police found _them_. He needed somewhere where he could fight or somehow neutralize him... if he was in fact Lucifer. Feet began to drag somewhat, becoming more resistant. "Where're we going?"

Sam looked around to make sure no one was watching them suspiciously, and he held up a hand as he stepped up to the curb. He ignored the guy, hoping he'd stay confused. Archangels couldn't even get hurt by a car hitting them. Where had he come from, what had happened before? Sam looked up at the sky; it was perfectly clear and inconspicuous enough.

"Why does my head feel like shit?"

"A taxi hit you," Sam answered finally as a yellow taxi pulled up. He leaned down to look into the open passenger window. "13th East 9th Street?" he said, and when he received a curt nod from the heavyset driver, he pulled open the back door and pushed the guy in somewhat carelessly.

" _Ahh_ ," the sandy blond groaned, weakly pushing himself into a sitting position as Sam climbed in quickly. "What the _fuck_?"

The taxi driver didn't seem to care as he pulled back onto the road with a sharp jerk, drawing another groan when the possible devil bounced his temple off the glass window.

" _Shiiit_."

Sam watched the guy carefully out of the corner of his eye, looking for any signs that he was faking as they sped away from where police, ambulance vehicles, and fire trucks were all headed.

"Do I know you...?"

Sam glared at the chair in front of him, wishing they were already at his place. "Yeah, we're best friends," he said quietly for the sake of the driver. He had to have something that could at least _temporarily_ stop Lucifer, especially if he was weakened, which he seemed to be.

They sat in silence after that, Sam glancing over to find the guy had fallen asleep, or passed out again, one of the two. He'd hope dead if he couldn't see his chest rising and falling steadily beneath the pale, pink dress shirt he wore. The tall hunter sat stiffly for the entire ride, ready to fight at any moment. The taxi came to an abrupt stop.

Sam swiped a fake card in the mounted credit card machine, added a tip, and then he opened the door before wrapping an arm once more around the guy's back. He grunted, pulling him out and up against him. This time though, the sandy blond didn't help by standing on his own any. He managed to push the door shut, and the taxi sped off.

"Thanks," Sam grumbled, and he shifted the supposed devil around until he could get him slung over his right shoulder, his upper body hanging over his back. The muscular hunter clenched his teeth as he made his way to the red brick building before him, ignoring curious looks directed at him. He fumbled for the key in his pocket as he stopped at a solid, greenish black door, the guy on his shoulder feeling heavier by the second. He managed to unlock the door and lock it back behind him.

Then Sam started to drop the guy on the floor right there, but he thought about it for a second. He didn't actually have anything to fight him with if he did wake up yet. He had no plan to fight Lucifer. The tall hunter walked more carefully, through the kitchen and into a furnished living room, and finally into the bedroom. He stopped in front of the king-sized bed he'd been sleeping in for the past three nights, grimacing, and then he carefully lowered the guy onto it.

" _Mmm_ ," the sandy blond groaned, brows furrowing, and the familiar guy's forehead wrinkled impressively.

Sam squared his shoulders, tensing as he watched the guy, waiting for him to suddenly regain his powers and set the place on fire or explode it.

The blond-haired man cracked open blue eyes, and he looked into Sam's wide green.

Sam stood perfectly still, waiting.

"Hey, I know you..."

Sam's mouth dropped open. It was happening. "You do...?" he asked, fighting a wave of sudden panic.

The guy smiled softly. "Yeah, you're my best friend." Then the guy's head fell back once more against the bed, blue eyes falling shut.

* * *

 

Sam sat on the floor, the back of his head resting against a light grey wall. The sun was setting, casting orange and reddish light into the silent bedroom through glass french doors. Outside there was a stone patio with a wrought iron table that sat two, tall concrete walls were almost completely covered in ivy, making the backyard feel like an oasis in the middle of the city.

The tall brunet had his phone in his hand, his computer open and sitting beside him abandoned. He needed to call Bobby, but he didn't want to talk to Dean, and he knew his brother was with him at the moment. The guy, who he'd thought to be Lucifer, was still out on his bed. He would've restrained him, but if it truly was the fallen archangel, he didn't have _anything_ that would accomplish more than just agitating him, he'd checked... several times. He was questioning now—

There was movement.

Sam tensed, straightening up as he watched the body on his bed begin to waken.

Low grunts and half groans cut the silence, and then Sam watched in alarm as the man army-style crawled on his elbows until he was at the edge. He screwed one eye shut and dropped back down until his cheek was resting on the fluffy white comforter beneath. "I think there's something wrong with me..." he half mumbled into Sam's sheets.

Sam blinked a few times. "What?"

The guy lifted his right hand and twirled his pointer finger in an unhelpful circle, pointing down at himself. "Something's _wrong_."

"Oh." His legs weak, Sam stood up slowly, using the wall behind him for support. He had a flask of holy water in his pocket, but if it was Lucifer... he wasn't a demon. "You were hit by a taxi," he said, talking to the guy for some reason.

The guy froze at that. "A taxi...?"

"Yeah," Sam said, frowning as the sandy blond continued to lie on the bed. "It was only going about twenty so the driver was okay, his car was pretty beat up though."

Blond brows lifted. "His car was... beat up?" he asked more slowly, his expression seeming unsure.

Sam's frown grew, something wasn't right. "Are you feeling okay?"

The guy blinked a few times. "I don't know." He stared at Sam for a few long beats, his expression clouding. "Do I _know_ you?"

Sam swallowed, his throat dry. He couldn't tell if he was being toyed with or not. He erred on the safe side. "Yeah, remember, we're friends..." He moved off the wall, forcing tense shoulders to relax.

"Best friends..." the guy said, his gaze growing distant as he took in the bedroom. "Yeah, I remember that..."

Sam took a small step forward, realization dawning on him. "What else do you remember?" he asked more seriously.

The guy shook his head slightly, brows furrowing and lips pouting almost. "Nothing, I can't remember anything else."

Sam struggled to hide his response but failed miserably. He didn't know what he should do now. He noticed the guy struggling to sit up, his face pinched in a look of pain as he began to clumsily undo the buttons of his shirt.

"What're you doing?" Sam asked, moving even closer to the bed.

"Where was I hit?" the guy asked as he pulled his arms out of the sleeves of the shirt, dropping it on the bed distractedly. Looking down at his unmarred torso, he visibly tensed.

"Your head," Sam said, and when he received the full attention of clear blue eyes, he held in a grimace. "Well, I mean, it hit your legs, and you fell and hit your head."

"My legs don't hurt," the guy said, and he began to undo his slacks.

" _Hey_ ," Sam said sharply, just stopping the guy from disrobing more on his bed. Lucifer looked at him with what seemed a mixture of curiousness and budding suspicion. "Ah, what about—how about we..."—Sam floundered miserably—"are you hungry?"

The blond's lips twitched at that. "Is there something you're trying to hide from me?"

"No." Sam felt his head shaking, and he knew he was failing at being convincing, but he wasn't sure if anyone would expect him to do much better interacting so casually with the devil. "No, I just. We were going to get dinner before your accident, and, and you were really hungry."

The blond wiggled his lower jaw as he thought over Sam's poor excuse. He shot a glance around the darkening bedroom. "Is this my place or yours?"

Sam blinked. Shit. "Neither," he said honestly, "we're just here for the week."

"We..." the blond said under his breath. He looked back to Sam, his lips toying with some emotion that Sam didn't like at all. "What's your name?"

"Sam," the tall hunter blurted, and then he caught a grimace from overtaking his features when blue eyes seemed to light up at the name.

"How many bedrooms does this place have?" the guy asked, his gaze flicking over to glass doors and focusing out on the patio as the sky continued to dim.

Sam frowned, confused. "Just this one."

Blue eyes shot back over, piercing, the skin around them crinkling for some reason, and Sam felt himself shift back onto his heels. "We're not actually best friends, now are we, Sam?" he asked slowly, sounding disconcertingly like the devil Sam knew too well.

Sam fumbled. "Yeah—of course we are, what do you mean?"

The blond smiled then, and Sam felt his mind go blank. "You know. I am hungry."

Sam let out a huge breath of relief. He'd figure out what to do later. He just needed to make it through the moment and keep the devil close by so he didn't hurt anyone. And then, he'd figure out how to kill him or lock him back up, or whatever. Maybe he _would_ call Bobby and Dean. "Great, what do you want?" he forced out.

The blond's smile grew. "I don't know, what do I like, best _buddy_?"

Sam breathed a disbelieving laugh. This was weird. _Really_ weird. "Salad," he said, and when blond brows began to furrow he added, "Trust me, it's your favorite."

"Okay," Lucifer said, and he looked down at his discarded top. "Quick question, why didn't you take me to the hospital, if I was hit by a car?"

Sam hummed internally. "Because you hate doctors," he said with a shrug of broad shoulders.

The man nodded slightly at that. "I thought maybe I was a criminal..." Focused blue eyes flicked over to study wide green.

"Nope," Sam said, pressing his lips together and shaking his head, adamant. He needed to figure out something soon. "No, you're not."

"Pity," the blond said, and when Sam's chin dropped he let out a soft chuckle. "So nervous," he observed curiously.

Sam scowled. "I'm _not_ , I've just been really worried about you," he lied.

The blond sucked on his upper teeth for a long moment, and then he reached out, shaking out his pink shirt. "Well lucky for you, Sam, I'm already on the mend."

Sam gave a tight smile, and he received a wink in response that made his entire body want to dissolve in a state of unhelpful panic. "So, _food_ ," he said a little too loudly, clapping his hands out in front of him, "you up for some delivery?"

Lucifer smiled somewhat at that. "Yeah, just order me the usual."

"Right," Sam said. "I'll do that."


	2. Chapter 2

Sam sat at the patio table outside. Lucifer had brought a few pillar candles from indoor out to light the tabletop, saying something about 'liking the fresh air.'

Sam frowned at that. Was Lucifer _able_ to like things like that?

"Not hungry?"

Sam looked up at the solicitous tone to meet curious blue eyes over candlelight. "Huh?"

"Your salad," the blond said, pointing at Sam's forgotten plate with his fork. "You haven't touched it."

" _Oh_ ," Sam said, and he lifted his fork, taking a bite but not taking notice of what. He slowed his chewing when he noticed Lucifer was grinning at him over clasped hands. Sam swallowed with effort. He took a sip of water from his glass, clearing his throat. He knew he was being strange; he needed to work on that if he was going to keep up the charade of being _friends_ with the fallen archangel until he came up with an actual plan. "How's your salad?" he asked, stabbing a piece of chicken and a cherry tomato.

"Like a bunch of molecules rolling around on my tongue."

Sam stared, and the blond let out a laugh. "Spicy. It's spicy, Sam, but I like it. Guess you do know that about me."

Sam took another bite, shrugging dark brows. He didn't know why, but it unnerved him to know that Satan liked to eat, and even more that he'd guessed it right. Although, Death was basically a foodie, so maybe that shouldn't surprise him so much.

"What are we here for?"

Sam blinked, regrouping his thoughts. "Oh, uh, mini vacation," he said before taking another bite.

"Sounds romantic..."

Sam froze, not looking up. His hand tightened its grip around the fork.

"I may have lost my memories, but I do have a feel for things"—Lucifer's tone grew more private, a smile obvious in it—"and _you_ and _I_ , Sam, we don't feel like just friends to me, even if we were besties. No. We're _closer_ than that."

Sam blinked at his food. This was _bad_.

"So how long have we been together? Is this an anniversary or something I've ruined?"

Sam stabbed another bite, not looking up still. He could feel his blood pressure rising as he formulated an appropriate response. "No, just a mini vacation, like I said. I needed a break from work, and you..." He paused, blinking a few times. "You ended up here too for some reason."

"I see. Maybe I thought you needed the company."

Sam hummed, noncommittal, setting his fork down. He felt knuckles graze the side of his hand in a whisper light touch, and he clenched his jaw, teeth grinding. "Lucifer, _don't_."

The blond lifted his hand off of his, not saying anything. Sam looked up to find the guy with a puzzled expression wrinkling his forehead.

"Did you... just call me... _Lucifer_?" The blond-haired man's expression grew more unsure as blue eyes squinted.

Sam cursed internally for the slip up. "Yeah," he said gruffly with a grimace, "that's your name."

"Ah." The blond bit down on his entire lower lip as he seemed to let it soak in. Then his lips began to curl up, and he let out a highly amused laugh. "Do I go by a nickname?"

Sam held back an eye roll. "Yeah, _Luci_."

"No," the guy said, grinning still, appearing even more amused, "no, I don't think so, _Sammy_."

Sam cringed at the sound of his nickname on the guy's lips, agitation spurring him on. "Fine, you're right. I'm lying. I just call you Satan."

Lucifer laughed loudly at that, the sound strangely warm. "Come now, Sam, are you always in such a bad mood?"

Sam frowned. He looked up. "Yeah, pretty much," he said, because it felt like the truth at the moment. Then he drew in a slow breath as he thought over his next words more carefully. "Listen, Lucifer... I don't think I should tell you anymore, it might keep your memory from coming back somehow."

Lucifer tilted his head to one side, his expression curious once more. "You think so?" he asked with lifted brows. When Sam nodded he leaned back in his chair, his pink button-up stretching tight across his tone chest and slim waist. "Fair enough. So you're going to take care of me until then?"

Sam blinked.

"I mean, I'm sure I have a job and family and all that." Lucifer watched him for a response.

"Oh, yeah. Of course," Sam said, "I'll take care of all that."

Lucifer nodded slowly, the back of his right hand rubbing idly at his rough chin. "And I trust you to do 'all that' because... we're together..." He studied Sam.

Sam hesitated only for a split-second. "Yes."

"Yes?" Lucifer lifted blond brows quizzically, breaking into a smile. "Are you _sure_ , Sam? You don't seem it... I can leave if I need to."

Sam nodded his head, hiding his panic at the thought. He needed to keep him close, but he didn't want him that close. "No, I'm sure. We've just been fighting a lot lately... we, ah, we're taking a break."

"We're taking a break on a mini vacation together?"

Sam laughed unhappily. "Yeah, well, I did say you just ended up here."

The blond nodded in acquiescence. "What'd I do?"

Sam sighed, placing his hand over his face.

"If I came after you, it must've been pretty bad..." Sam said nothing. "I didn't cheat on you..." Green eyes turned up slowly.

Lucifer grinned at him lazily. "I'm _very_ loyal, I can feel it."

Sam felt the breath of a laugh shake his chest in disbelief. "You can't know that," he found himself saying, almost amused.

"I can, and I do," Lucifer quipped. Then he hummed softly, tilting his head side to side slightly as he thought. "I tried to push things between us."

Sam found himself actually laughing out loud at the oddly accurate guess, even if it was on a whole different plane. "Why do you think that?"

The blond crossed his arms, stretching out his legs as he slouched more in his seat. He swept his gaze over Sam before saying in a low voice, "Because I want to do the same thing right now."

Sam stood up slowly, fighting the urge to run away at top speed. "It's late," he said, his voice rough. "Do you want the bed?"

Lucifer waved him off. "You can have it, I'm not tired."

Sam ran a hand up the back of his neck, grasping it. He'd forgotten, Castiel had said angels didn't need sleep. "Yeah, me neither," he lied. He glanced around the dark space. "We could watch a movie or something. I mean," Sam corrected himself, "I have some work to do on my laptop, but I could sit with you."

The blond stood, his lips curled up. "I'd like that, Sam."

* * *

 

Sam was attracted to guys. He knew that, and he'd known that for a long time. He also knew he hadn't been with anyone in far too long, but he _hadn't_ realized that he was really lonely and incredibly frustrated. He knew all this now... mainly because Lucifer had decided to take off his pants and undo his shirt and was lying in only a pair of black boxer briefs and an open shirt, his feet resting in Sam's lap.

Sam closed his eyes as feet wiggled on his leg in excitement as the tv screen began to flash with explosions. He focused back on his laptop, which he had balanced on the armrest of the couch he was sharing with Lucifer, angling its screen away from the distracted blond. He would send Bobby an e-mail, ask him if he knew of any way to 'take care' of Lucifer again.

"O _h-h_ , Sam, you're missing a good part," the blond crooned in excitement.

Sam pressed his lips between his teeth, feeling the smallest twinge of guilt in his chest. "I don't like gore," he said quietly in response, pulling up his email. He only felt bad, because Lucifer had no memories, once they were back... well, he couldn't let that happen.

He began to tap the keys. He wrote, erased, then wrote his letter again. He opened another tab, staring at a blank screen as he questioned what he was about to do. If he sent Bobby an e-mail, he would still tell Dean, Sam just wouldn't have to talk to him, yet. They'd both show up though—

"I'm getting tired."

Sam froze. He looked over. Lucifer flicked off the TV and placed the remote on the floor, his arm remaining hanging off the edge of the couch they shared. The blond yawned, scrubbing a hand through short spiky hair, blue eyes half visible under heavy lids, looking in fact tired. "How about we both use the bed, if I promise to behave."

Sam closed his laptop, his e-mail unsent. He supposed Cas had said angels didn't need to sleep, not that they didn't ever, and Lucifer wasn't exactly normal. "I'm supposed to believe that?" he asked, unamused.

"I'm a man of my word."

Sam sat for a few beats, unsure, but then a tired sigh escaped him. He stood up. "Okay, no touching," he warned, walking his computer over to set on a small kitchen table.

"Unless you ask me," the guy said back as he disappeared into the bedroom ahead of him.

Sam scowled. He wasn't sure how he'd gotten into a situation where the devil thought they were dating, but unfortunately he wasn't that surprised by it either. He just needed to find a resolution to the situation tomorrow, because he didn't know how much time he had.

The tall brunet placed his hand on the door as he entered the dark bedroom.

"Could you leave it open?"

Sam looked across the room in surprise. Lucifer was pulling off his shirt by the bed. "What?"

Lucifer glanced up. "The door. I don't like feeling trapped."

Sam swallowed hard, and he gave a stiff nod. He walked around to the other side, and he began to undo his jeans, ignoring the other guy's presence as he did. He climbed into the bed and under cool sheets in his t-shirt and a pair of boxers, facing away from Lucifer. He felt a sudden wave of panic when the bed began to shake behind him.

"Night, Sammy," was whispered softly a safe distance away.

"G'night," Sam forced out.

* * *

 

Sam woke slowly to the sound of water running and a warm breeze on his upper body. Green eyes slowly cracked open, and with it came realization. He'd found Lucifer the day before on his vacation he'd taken. Well, vacation was being generous, it was more of a mental health leave. He wasn't really sleeping at all, he was hallucinating, and his older brother, who he trusted and cared about more than anyone, had lied to him and, not to mention, killed one of the only other people he'd cared about.

Although... dark brows furrowed. He'd just gotten a full night's sleep, and oddly, he hadn't hallucinated ever since he'd touched the fallen archangel the day before.

The door to the bathroom swung open. "Good _morning_ , Sam," was said happily enough.

Sam pushed himself up into a sitting position. "Morning," he said groggily. He felt the mattress dip by his feet as Lucifer sat down on the bed to put on a pair of socks.

"Where are my clothes?" the guy asked, his hair wet and facial hair buzzed short.

"Oh uh, you didn't bring any," Sam said, only technically lying, "I think you were planning to buy some once you got here."

"You sure you didn't kidnap me?" Probing blue eyes met unamused green then. Lucifer cracked a grin. "I can see why I like you now." Sam puzzled at that. "It's your killer sense of humor."

Sam rolled his eyes, but his lips began to twitch in an upward fashion.

"Careful, don't hurt yourself," Lucifer said idly.

Sirens sounded in the distance, and Sam found himself looking out onto the secluded patio. "You hungry?" he asked tiredly.

"Yeah, absolutely famished. Suggestions?"

Sam frowned. Lucifer was oddly pleasant without his memories. Was that to be expected with someone who couldn't remember their life? He still had a similar personality, it was just less murder-y. He had been in the cage after all, so had Sam... but not even close to as long—Flashes of icy fire and screams, darkness so absolute it burned the eyes—Fingers snapped in front of his face.

"Earth to, _Sam_."

Sam blinked. He found blue eyes too close then. " _What_?" he breathed, leaning back some, feeling disoriented. He closed his eyes when he felt suddenly nauseated.

"Are you feeling okay?" was asked. Sam didn't answer. "I didn't knock you up, did I?"

Sam felt the air from his lungs escape in a rough laugh. "Fuck you."

"I think not," was said back close enough Sam could smell mint.

Then two fingers touched his forehead ever so lightly. Green eyes shot open, and Sam gasped as energy swam through his body like light flooding a dark crevice. Blue eyes were watching him closely.

"Do you feel better?"

Sam blinked rapidly not sure if he should be relieved or terrified. "Yeah, I do," he said honestly, "thank you."

Lucifer smiled softly at that. "You're welcome, Sam."

Sam sat there, speechless, for a few seconds. He looked away, gathering his thoughts. "I, uh, I'll get ready." He stood up. "We can eat and buy you some new clothes."

"Sounds lovely," Lucifer said, reclining on his side, propped up on an elbow as he watched Sam lean over to grab his jeans. "Something casual, since we're on vacation," he mused.

Sam laughed at that. Hopping some as he pulled dark jeans up around his waist, his mood surprisingly light. "Yeah, sounds good. Why are you so dressed up?"

Lucifer broke into a lazy grin. "Shouldn't you know that?"

Sam shrugged large shoulders, brushing off the oversight. "I can't read minds."

The blond nodded slightly at that. "Maybe I was trying to impress you."

"Right." Sam pulled the shirt off he'd slept in, walking over to the closet to grab another. He found a plain baby blue one and turned back to face the waiting blond. He pulled it over his head and smoothed it down. He stopped when he noticed the guy was staring at him. "What?"

Lucifer responded, his voice quiet, "Blue is a very flattering color on you."

Sam blinked. He looked away. "Thanks," he mumbled, running a hand through his hair to smooth it. "Do you know what you want to eat?" he asked, hesitant.

"You can choose."


	3. Chapter 3

"Here you go, Sam." A slim, dark-haired guy with matching facial hair smiled at the tall brunet. Liam. He worked at the coffee/breakfast place Sam'd gone to the last three mornings since he'd 'ended up' in the Greenwich Village apartment. He hadn't exactly _rented_ the place, but he had found a key over the doorframe, and it had been empty. He'd even called the rental company to check it was available for the week. He figured squatting was less bad or at least equivalent to using a fake credit card, plus, he hadn't wanted Dean to have a physical address on the very good chance he decided to hunt him down. "Breakfast for two?" the guy asked curiously, trying to peer around him.

"Yeah, unexpected company," Sam said, shifting to block his view as he held in a grimace. He'd possibly been too friendly to the guy, considering the disappointed look his response garnered, not to mention the guilt he was feeling. He'd known his first time there when the barista had offered to show him the city on his day off that he should find a new breakfast spot, but he hadn't felt like being a weird recluse, so he hadn't. He took the brown bag and cupholder held out to him then, wishing he had. "Thanks, Liam," he said.

"No problem, I'll see you tomorrow?" the guy asked, focusing once more on him, his expression turning hopeful.

"Maybe..." Sam said vaguely, trying not to sound too encouraging. Even if Lucifer was gone, it was a bad idea; this moment was a clear sign of that. He'd unexpectedly ran into the _devil_.

The tall hunter sighed as he shut the door back with his arm, turning around to find Lucifer sitting on the back of the couch, his hands clasped over stretched out legs. The blond was eyeing the door with an unsettling intensity.

"I got us waffles and coffee," Sam said, walking over to the small kitchen table and setting the bag and holder down. He popped a straw in both cups, ignoring the thick silence on top of his depressing thoughts. Then he pulled out two plastic containers, both holding a small, square waffle with sliced apples, bananas, and honey drizzle. "Do you want to eat outside again?"

He looked over when he got no response. Lucifer hadn't moved. "Hey, uh... you okay?"

Blue eyes blinked once. "I have a question for you, Sam," Lucifer said, quietly, "and I need a real answer to it."

Sam lowered the cup he'd been about to drink from. "Okay..." he said, hesitant.

Lucifer blew out a loud breath, and then he laughed, the sound agitated, setting the tall brunet on edge. His chin dropped as he studied clasped hands for a long moment. When he spoke up finally, his voice was eerily quiet, "You don't want me here... do you?"

Sam's mind stumbled over the unexpected question. He set his cup down. " _No_ ," he blurted, "I mean, no, I _do_."

The blond stood up, his gaze rising and his expression darkening. "Don't _lie_ to me, Samuel. I might not have my memories, but I'm not an _idiot_."

Sam bristled at the blond's tone, his shoulders squaring. "What's that supposed to mean?" he said, feeling indignant.

Lucifer ran his tongue along the bottom of his front teeth instead of responding right away. "If you're not lying"—he raised his chin, keeping eye contact, his cool gaze unnerving—"prove it."

Sam hesitated, he frowned. "What...?"

"I don't believe you," the blond said simply. Then he began to stalk towards Sam, the tall brunet struggling not to backpedal to keep space between them. He stopped just in front of him, and Sam finally stumbled back a step, falling some onto the table behind him. Lucifer leaned forward to whisper, "Are you afraid of me, Sam?"

Sam shook his head faintly. "No," he said, wide green eyes disagreeing with him. "No, I'm—I'm not."

Lucifer dead-panned. "And you want me here, with you?"

Sam nodded, the response taking him longer that time. "Yeah. I do," he said hoarsely.

The blond bit down on his lower lip. "Why?"

Sam blinked rapidly, his mind firing off the reason why with ease, but he couldn't tell him that it was because he was dangerous and that he was trying to find a way to subdue him while he was unaware and trusting Sam implicitly.

The tall brunet swallowed hard, looking away as guilt welled in his chest even more, because he was pretending to be close to Lucifer just so he could hurt him. He shouldn't trust him. Green eyes closed as the hunter struggled to justify what he was doing. Lucifer was a mass murderer, he _wanted_ to kill _everyone_. Even if he didn't right at that moment, he couldn't just let the guy go. He still had his powers, and if he did regain his memories, no, _when_ he regained them, it would be too late. They'd barely stopped him the first time.

" _Sam_..." was breathed cool against the side of his throat.

Sam felt knuckles sweep lightly over his cheek, trailing back and forth, and an uneven breath escaped him. He knew what the blond wanted. He'd wanted it before, it wasn't a surprise, but what was surprising was he wasn't disgusted by it anymore.

"Sam..."

Sam's chest constricted, his heart dancing inside his chest, and he felt a cool breath on his chin. He lowered his head until it was puffing against his lips, and he felt his thoughts begin to lighten from breathing too quickly. "Yeah?" His voice gruff.

"Kiss me, and I'll stay."

Sam felt lips graze the corner of his, tickling, and he breathed in jerkily, his chest shaking sharply. A hand grasped his side just over his jeans, and it squeezed, hard, causing a stilted gasp to escape him. His jeans grew uncomfortably tight, and green eyes squeezed more tightly shut in shame. This wasn't just some guy, this wasn't even just some demon.

"I want you, Sam," was whispered huskily against his mouth.

Sam felt a tingling shiver rush down through his body, the words frighteningly familiar. He'd do it just to keep him there, he had no other choice. When lips ghosted over skin just missing the corner of his mouth he turned into them, and he met them, Lucifer's lips suddenly on his.

Sam felt soft lips begin to move against his gently at first but then more firmly, the hand on his side tightening. He started to protest, but Lucifer took the moment to slide his tongue into his mouth. Then a strong hand was cupping the side of his neck, holding him close as their kiss deepened.

The tall brunet found himself responding, his usually overactive mind shutting down at the intoxicating sensation of Lucifer's tongue sliding against his, strong hands holding him close like they were afraid he might pull away. A few moments later he was breathing fresh air once more from parted lips and staring into piercing blue eyes up close, feeling dazed.

"Okay. I'll stay," Lucifer said simply, then he reached around a still frozen Sam, invading his space again to casually pick up his food and drink. He strolled off in the direction of the bedroom, calling with a smile in his voice as he opened the doors to the patio, "Bring forks, sweetheart."

* * *

"Is it always this crowded?" Lucifer walked beside Sam just an hour later, his lip curling in distaste when someone brushed against him unintentionally as they passed. They were walking down the sidewalk towards a department store Sam had suggested.

"Yeah, you get used to it," Sam said, shooting him a slightly concerned look. "We're almost there, it's just up here."

The blond rolled his shoulders in agitation, his expression only darkening. "I don't think I'll ever get used to it."

Sam huffed a breath. "That's an understatement," he muttered. Then he stopped to pull open a heavy glass door quickly, ushering the blond inside. "Come on, it's quiet in here."

Sam made his way past racks of men's clothing most of it casual. The store was dimly lit, and the further they got from the large windows at the front the cooler it felt. The tall brunet stopped at a couch at the very back, large dressing rooms and a floor to ceiling mirror on one side. "You can sit, I'll get you some things," Sam said, waiting until he received a stiff nod in response.

The tall hunter walked back over to the clothing racks, regretting his decision to take Lucifer out, but not as much as he regretted kissing him. Which was why they'd gone out right after eating. Sam needed the fresh air and to be around other people to remind himself he _didn't_ sympathize with the devil, and more importantly... that he didn't want to kiss him again.

He flicked through a rack of graphic t-shirts, and he grabbed a dark grey one, a red one, and a couple white ones all in a size smaller than what he wore. Then he moved over to some shelves with jeans. He frowned, trying to guess the guy's size. He growled at himself when he began to picture the blond too vividly. He grabbed a few different ones angrily, and then he stalked back to where Lucifer was sitting. His legs crossed casually as he sat in his dress pants and light pink button up, he was clearly feeling better. "Here, try these," he said gruffly.

Lucifer raised blond brows, pressing his lips together lightly between his teeth. "What's the magic word?"

Sam scowled, and he threw the clothes on the couch beside him. " _Please_."

The blond grinned slowly at that, and he stood up, swiping up the clothes as he did. "Only since you asked so _nicely_ ," he said, and he placed a chaste kiss on Sam's cheek before walking off.

Green eyes slid shut, and Sam struggled to keep his mind from exploding. He wasn't attracted to Lucifer, he was just lonely and he'd been upset, and he had found Lucifer and had had no choice _but_ to keep an eye on him. So an amnesiac fallen archangel was oddly nice to be around, was that a bad thing?

Sam lowered down onto the couch, leaning his face into his hands. Dean had been _right_ about him, when he'd said—

"They'll work."

Sam turned his head, he hadn't even heard the door to the dressing room open. Not to mention it had only been a few seconds at most. "What?" he asked dumbly, blinking a few times, his thoughts still in a state of upheaval.

Lucifer shrugged one shoulder. "I used my powers. These're good. Maybe more red in the future though, I like red."

Sam blinked, his mouth suddenly dry. "Right. Okay. Let's go then."

Sam checked out quickly, not taking note of what the cashier said as he nodded numbly. He was out in the sun before he knew it, purposely crossing the road when the sidewalk got too congested despite needing to cross back over the next block. Lucifer followed beside him silently, the tension in the blond's gait obvious.

Sam fumbled for the key to the apartment he was staying in illegally, holding a bag of clothes he'd purchased with a _fraudulent_ credit card, and holding it open for _Lucifer_ to walk in behind him. " _Shit_." He walked over to his closed laptop, looking down at it, the email to Bobby still waiting to be sent asking for help to kill the blond. What was he _doing_? " _Shit_."

"You okay there, Sam?" was asked in a curious voice.

"Yeah, I'm _great_ ," he snapped back. He sighed, sliding his hand down over his face when he received no response. He turned around slowly to find Lucifer watching him with a quiet expression as he leaned his shoulder in the doorway of the bedroom they'd shared. "Yeah, I'm fine, just really stressed. Sorry."

Lucifer crossed his arms over his chest as he rested the side of his head on the frame too then, blue eyes active. "Is it because of what I am?"

Sam blinked. No. "...Huh...?" He might have gotten the word out.

Lucifer grinned somewhat, and he peered down at the floor with an idle interest, scuffing the tip of his right shoe curiously on dark bamboo flooring. "Well, I'm clearly not human... now am I?"

Sam felt his lungs evacuate in relief. He didn't remember yet. Not yet.

Blue eyes turned back up then, some emotion behind them making Sam's chest twist uncomfortably despite his relief. "I can tell it bothers you," he said, then his upper lip curled back as he added mockingly, "my _sincerest_ apologies, Sam, I know my complete memory loss must be very difficult for _you_ to deal with."

Sam felt guilt roll over him. "No, I, it's just—it's complicated," he finally decided on.

"Wow, thanks, that _really_ clears things up," Lucifer said as he pushed off the doorframe. "I'm so glad I have you here,  _Sam,_ being so supportive and comforting. It makes me feel all warm and _cozy_ inside."

Sam swallowed, his mouth dry. "You're right."

Lucifer stopped mid-step at that, blue eyes narrowing on him like it was a trick.

Sam nodded jerkily, and he continued on before the blond could shame him anymore. He couldn't do this. He couldn't treat someone who technically hadn't done anything wrong in their mind like a villain. He wouldn't. "I'm sorry, Lucifer. I was wrong."

The blond rolled his tongue along his teeth, gauging the brunet. "I forgive you," he finally said. His tone bordering indulgent, a smile lazily curled up his features as he added, "I can't stay mad at you, Sammy, I don't know why."

Sam tensed at that. He glazed over the room, struggling not to snap again at the guy over nothing, well... at least as far as the blond knew. "Ah..."—he cleared his throat, forcing broad shoulders to relax—"yeah, that's not new," he admitted begrudgingly, and then a huff of a desperate laugh escaped.

"I see." Lucifer trailed into the bedroom, leaving Sam without an explanation.

Sam frowned when he heard the doors to the patio open, and he found himself moving into the room cautiously. He stopped when he got to the two open french doors. Lucifer was standing in the sunshine, his face tilted up and eyes closed.

"It's nice, isn't it? The sun," Lucifer mused, startling Sam with the unexpected words. The blond hadn't opened his eyes or looked over. "Looks like I'm not a vampire. Pity..."

Sam fought a grin. "No, not a vampire," he said, stopping beside him. He glanced over and found himself studying the guy's exposed pale neck.

"Warlock?" Lucifer suggested, looking over with bright blue eyes.

Sam hummed unsurely, drawing it out. "No."

Lucifer laughed at that. "You could just tell me..."

Sam raised dark brows. "You're right, I could." He turned away then and began to make his way back into the room, grinning at the sound of Lucifer's laughter once more filling the air. He kicked off his shoes and dropped onto the bed, stretching out onto his back and enjoying the feel of cool sheets against his bare arms as it seeped more slowly through his clothes. A soft breeze rustled over his body, dark fringe getting brushed away from closed eyes, and he let himself relax.

"Mind if I join you?"

Sam hummed lowly, shaking his head the slightest bit. Then the bed dipped on his left side, and cool fingertips tucked a lock of his hair behind his ear, lingering.

"I like it here with you, Sam," Lucifer said, his low voice quiet, fingers drifting down the side of the brunet's neck.

"Yeah, it's nice," Sam admitted. He felt his collar being toyed with, and he refused to worry at that moment. It felt good, and he hadn't felt good in a _long_ time, he couldn't remember the last time to be honest. "I always wanted to live in a big city."

"Why didn't you?"

Sam sighed. "Dean, my older brother, he needed me to help with the family business, and my father too, I guess." He felt Lucifer begin to trace indistinct shapes on his chest over his shirt. He opened his eyes.

Lucifer was lying on his side, propped up on one elbow, watching his own finger trail over Sam's slowly rising and falling chest, gradually moving lower. "We should do it. Move here together. Fuck _Dean_."

Sam grinned at that, the thought of telling Dean he was moving to New York with Satan morbidly amusing. "Yeah, fuck Dean."

Amused blue eyes met his gaze. "That's the spirit." Lucifer leaned over then, the palm of his hand making contact and sneaking further down, rubbing Sam's lower stomach just above his pants' line, back and forth, with a growing purpose. He watched alert green eyes begin to glaze over. "Sam..."

Sam cleared his throat. "Yeah?"

Lucifer snuck out his tongue to wet his lower lip just barely. "Take off your pants, and I'll do something for you."

Sam's mind sobered at that, but the brunet used his newfound clarity to nod eagerly. He fumbled with the buttons of his pants, lifting his hips to push jeans down. He felt the blond grab hold of his jeans, pulling them off his feet in one swift motion. Then Lucifer was slinking back up the bed, his bright blue eyes trained on Sam with an intensity that made the brunet's breath catch.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story will earn its explicit rating soon.

Sam woke with a jerk. There was knocking coming from the other room. He realized there was an arm wrapped snugly around his bare chest, and a body pressed up against his back. He blinked groggily a few times, carefully removing Lucifer's grip so he could climb off the bed. The knocking started up again. "Just a minute," he called hoarsely, and he found his jeans, pulling them on and walking towards the kitchen as he buttoned them.

He reached the front door. He stopped to peer in the peephole.

_"Hello, Sam Winchester."_

"It can't be..." Sam took a step back from the door.

"Can. Is."

" _Ah._ " Sam spun around to find a certain archangel, who he'd thought _dead_ , standing in his kitchen looking very alive. " _Gabriel_ _._ What are you doing here? I thought you were dead."

Gabriel laughed at that. He sniffed and crossed his arms. "Wow, and here I thought you'd be _happy_ to see me."

"Who's this?"

Sam grimaced, not looking back as Gabriel's falling smile told him all he needed to know.

Gabriel started to move forward, but stopped, seeming to think better of it. "Luci, it's... good to see you again."

Sam startled slightly when he felt a chin rest on his shoulder, scruff poking him, and a hand settled lightly on his bare side, wrapping around to touch his stomach. "Yes... and who are _you_?"

"You really don't know?" the angel asked, glancing between a suspicious Lucifer and an uncomfortable Sam a few times. "I'm your brother... little brother... _Gabe_."

"Hmmm," the guy hummed, his lips pressed between his teeth. " _Nope_ , doesn't ring a bell." He slipped his other arm around Sam then, grunting as he hugged him from behind, pressing his nose against his neck to breathe in his scent. "I only know Sam here, we're very close."

"I can see that," Gabriel said with wide eyes, and the usually quick-witted angel appeared to be at a loss for words as he watched his brother nuzzle against the hunter. "I, uh, I just heard you two were in the neighborhood, we frequent the same coffee shop, Kali and I, we live just a few blocks away. Thought I'd drop in, see if the rumors were true..." He tilted his head to one side, studying an unimpressed Lucifer more closely. "You have _no_ personal memories at all?"

Lucifer pressed a soft kiss to Sam's neck, causing the tall brunet to startle more noticeably. He grinned against his skin. "So _sensitive_ ," he teased quietly. Then he sighed and unwrapped himself from Sam when all he did was tense up more. He turned his attention to the unwelcome newcomer. " _None_. Which makes talking to you little more than an _irritation_ right now."

"Well that's not new," Gabriel responded curtly.

"Let me ask you a question, _Gabe,_ do we get along?" Lucifer asked, his demeanor suddenly shifting as he left Sam's side. "Because, I'm thinking _no_."

"We used to," the archangel said, squaring his shoulders as Lucifer approached him. "I don't want to fight anymore, Luce, I've lost enough brothers."

"Well then _maybe_ you should leave now," Lucifer said, his voice unusually quiet, "because I'm not really in the position to make amends, _brother_ , seeing as how I don't even _know you_."

Gabriel hesitated only for a second. "Fair enough." He was gone.

Sam grimaced as Lucifer stood, staring at the now empty space. The fallen archangel turned around to face him, his expression about what he'd expected.

"I can transport?" Blond brows half raised, Lucifer looked around the small room with a new awareness.

"Ah..." Sam caught a glimpse of the fallen angel's silhouette against the wall, and he saw dark, massive wings begin to unfold. He reached out in alarm. "No, Lucifer, _wait_ —" The blond extended out his hand and grabbed his, and then they were both gone from the apartment.

* * *

" _Shit_." Sam stumbled back a step, the ground uneven and cool beneath his feet. He landed on top of sand with a grunt, the brunet only wearing jeans, no socks or shirt. It was dark out, the sky was clear, and the moon reflected off miles of private white sand in both directions.

"Not many things can transport."

Sam looked up. Lucifer was standing a few yards ahead of him in wet sand, the tide pulling back. He was wearing a pair of red swimming trunks. Sam blinked. He didn't remember picking those out. He glanced down when he felt an unexpected breeze on his legs to find he was in a pair of white board shorts. He swallowed around a sudden lump in his throat.

The blond stood still as the ocean crashed forward, water swirling around his legs, rising up past his knees and wetting the tips of his shorts before receding once more. "Who am I, Sam?"

Sam stood up, brushing sand off, and he searched the area, making sure no one else was around before he began to trod through thick sand. He reached Lucifer, not looking over, instead keeping his gaze focused on dark foamy waters. "Why'd you want to come here?" he asked, instead of answering.

"I find the ocean peaceful."

Sam nodded, and he breathed in the briny night air as cool water rushed around his calves, pieces of sand and seaweed tickling his legs as they slipped past. "Yeah, it is."

They stood, the crashing of waves and the wind filling the silence.

"Tell me a memory you have," the blond said quietly, not quite seeming himself, at least not the one Sam had become accustomed to rather quickly.

Sam blinked a few times. "Ah, I remember this one time, I was only twelve, I think. Dean, he promised to take me to the ocean, because we were living in this town that was only half an hour away from the beach. We'd been there a few months, still hadn't gone; and we found out from our dad we'd be moving on the weekend."

Lucifer said nothing, but blue eyes focused on him.

Sam cleared his throat. "He never took me. He had a date, and then... other things came up. We ended up moving, and I never saw it."

Laughter was his response. "That's a terrible memory."

Sam nodded faintly. "Yeah, well, I've got a lot of them. Memories, they aren't always the best thing to have." He finally looked over to the blond. "I can't tell you what you want to know. You'll figure it out on your own though. Trust me."

Lucifer smiled at him. "Are you trying to tell me something, Sam?" He cocked his head when Sam shifted his gaze down to the dark water swirling around them as guilt twisted in his chest. "I've earned some good points tonight, though, hm?"

Sam grinned down at his feet. "Maybe a few."

"What's a memory you have of us?"

Sam grimaced. "Ah..." He softened some as Lucifer laughed softly beside him. "Actually, I think earlier today was a pretty good one."

"Yeah, that was nice," Lucifer said quietly. He turned his gaze up at the clear night sky. "I like you, Sam."

Sam blinked rapidly, surprised by the statement. "Yeah... I like you too," he said, confusion slowing his words but not stopping them.

Lucifer looked to him, blond brows arching devilishly, the wind ruffling his hair. "How much? Enough you'd kill someone for me?"

Sam hesitated. "Why would you need that?"

The blond shrugged nonchalantly. "You never know."

The tall hunter found himself almost grinning, but he resisted. "It'd depend on the situation."

"I would for you, without a second thought," Lucifer said, his expression impassive, "I would kill everyone for you."

Sam sighed after a moment's pause. "Please don't." He took a step back when water crashed against him well above his knees, the once invigorating water suddenly feeling too cold. "We should get back."

"And if I don't want to?" Lucifer asked, his tone casual again. He tilted his head back, shooting Sam a mischievous look over his shoulder. "You gonna _make me_ , Sam?"

Sam clenched his hands into fists by his side. "No, I never said that."

The blond turned to face him, his back to the ocean. "Tell me something... do you like storms?"

Sam held himself steady as the warm ocean receded again, pulling some of the sandy ground out from beneath his feet. He stepped closer to the blond to find better grounding, dark brows furrowing. "Yeah, sometimes. Why?"

Without warning, a jagged line of white light split the sky above them, and then a crack of thunder followed immediately after. Sam reached out carefully, touching the blond's arm. "Lucifer, are you—"

"What about snow?"

Sam pressed his lips together tightly. "Yeah," he said tightly, clenching his jaw when the storm disappeared and snowflakes began to fall, melting immediately as they hit the water's choppy surface. "What are you doing?"

"Just having some fun," Lucifer said idly. The snow stopped, and the breeze picked back up. The blond didn't seem to notice Sam's hand on his upper arm tightening. "Why did you move so much as a child?"

Sam blinked a few times, feeling disoriented. "My father, he, uh, he was a hunter. Dean too."

Lucifer seemed to think over that. He looked down at Sam's grip, studying blanched knuckles, and a small smile flitted across his lips. "A hunter of what?" he asked curiously, shifting forward. He grazed a hand down the tall brunet's sculpted stomach distractedly.

Sam blew out a heavy breath. "Ah. Monsters." A quiet laugh escaped his chest, and he forced his grip to loosen. "The bad ones," he amended after some thought.

"Aren't all monsters bad... hence the label?" Lucifer asked curiously, his palm settling over Sam's chest, directly over his heart. He felt it pick up speed.

"No, I mean, technically... but you can't fault someone for having malicious urges. At least, I don't think so."

"Hmm." Lucifer smiled at that. "Am I a monster, Sam?"

Sam hesitated. He looked down, studying the splayed hand on his chest. He knew what he should say, an angel wasn't technically a monster, but Lucifer had earned the title many times over. "I think everyone has the potential to be a monster," he admitted, his voice rough, "I know I've been one before."

The wind picked up, and salty water surged forward more angrily. "I think you're too hard on yourself, Samuel."

Sam exhaled sharply, ignoring how much he liked the sound of his full name coming from Lucifer. "No, I'm too easy on myself. I make excuses, and I reason things away, and when that doesn't work I stop caring."

"Sounds like it works for you," Lucifer said with a shrug of blond brows. When he received a tight nod in response a smile crept up his lips, and he began to walk fingertips down Sam's torso. "Well, you know what they _say_ , if it's not broken..."

"Yeah," Sam said quietly, his expression torn.

Lucifer rolled his tongue along the inside of his cheek as he trailed his middle finger lightly over the edge of white material that lined smooth tan skin. "Am I a demon?" he asked curiously.

Sam shook his head, his breath catching when a finger hooked the waist of his shorts. "No, not a demon." Green eyes scanned the darkened sky above for clouds, finding none. The tall brunet felt a gnawing guilt, struggling with his thoughts, his blood beginning to race as the blond's knuckles began to trace a small path along the sensitive skin of his lower stomach. "I've not been completely honest with you, Lucifer."

"You don't say..."

Sam grimaced at the mocking words. Of course he'd know, he was a terrible liar. "I'm sorry."

"I can't really forgive you if I don't know what you've done," was said quietly.

Sam nodded jerkily. "I know." He bit down on his lower lip, fighting the urge to confess everything. "I'm sorry for that too."

The hand just inside his shorts slipped out, and Lucifer wrapped his index and thumb gently around Sam's wrist. "All right, let's go back."

Sam opened his mouth to respond, but then he was suddenly standing at the foot of the bed in the apartment in Greenwich Village. He took a small step back, his head aching from being transported again. He rubbed at his temples, grimacing when it throbbed harder. "I don't think I handle transportation that well," he mumbled.

"Sorry, Sam," was said close to his ear, and he felt fingertips touch to his forehead.

Green eyes shot open, the tall brunet's headache vanished, and he blinked a few times, the fallen angel's power still tingling through his veins. "Thank you... that's, much better."

"I'm here to help," Lucifer drawled as he glanced down at the bed they shared. "So what's the plan then?"

Sam frowned.

Blue eyes flicked up. "You wanted to come back."

" _Oh_." Sam nodded, scrambling, "Yeah, I did. I need to call my brother, I haven't talked to him since your accident. He gets worried."

Lucifer dropped down, sitting on the edge of the bed, still in wet red trunks. He stretched out long legs, crossing his ankles casually. "I'll be right here. Tell him I say hello."

Sam held back a desperate laugh. "Yeah, I will," he said before turning and walking out of the room.

* * *

" _Sam_!"

Sam pulled the phone away from his ear. "Dean, hey—"

"Where _are_ you? Cas can't find you!"

Green eyes slipped shut, Sam tilting his chin up in frustration as he leaned back against the kitchen counter. "Dean, don't ask Cas to do that, I told you I'm _fine_ , I'm working on a case... no, I want to be _alone_."

"Hey Sammy, are you hungry?"

Green eyes shot open.

"Who was _that_? Are you with someone? _Sam, tell me what's_ —"

Sam spun around to shoot Lucifer a dark look, ignoring Dean's rant. The blond grinned at him unabashed, appearing far too pleased with himself as he began to stroll towards him. He shook his head adamantly, covering the mouthpiece of his cell. "I thought you were going to wait in _there_."

"I got _bored_ ," the blond said with a shrug, and then blond eyebrows lifted innocently. "What's wrong, Sam, don't you want Dean to know I'm here?"

"Don't want me to know—Who the _hell_ is that? Goddamnit, _Sam_! _Why aren't you answering me?"_

Sam tapped the end call button before Lucifer could say anything else. He felt it begin to vibrate in his hand almost immediately. He ignored it. "Dean doesn't approve of you," he said simply.

Lucifer tilted his head, smiling in amusement. "Why not?"

Sam opened his mouth, but then he closed it again. He sighed when his phone began buzzing again. "He thinks you're dangerous," he said simply, tired of lying.

Lucifer hummed, the blond bringing up his hand to nibble on the corner of his thumbnail, appearing to entertain the idea. "And you?"

Sam huffed a breath. "Does it matter?"

The fallen archangel laughed at that. "I suppose not," he said.

Sam's phone began to buzz again.

"Are you going to answer that?"

Sam grimaced; he looked down at the cellphone, Dean's number flashing insistently. "No."

Laughter filled the kitchen. "Cold. I like it. Come on, Sam, I'm famished."

* * *

"This is pretty good."

Sam nodded, taking another large bite of the vegan pizza they'd ordered. Sitting outside by candlelight with Lucifer on the patio of the apartment they were staying in illegally, he took a drink from his sixth beer, hiding a stupid grin. Dean would be so disappointed with him if he knew. He found the admission funnier with each bottle he drank, which was partly why he wasn't stopping anytime soon.

He took another bite, thoroughly enjoying the pizza. "Dean would never eat this with me," he said, verbalizing his thoughts, "because it doesn't have meat, and vegetables he'd say, don't belong on a pizza."

"You two are close?" Lucifer asked, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms, his plate empty but for a few pieces of crust.

Sam lifted the bottle to his lips, taking a slow sip as he nodded. He stretched out long legs, relaxing for the first time since he'd talked to his brother. He'd left his phone in the kitchen in case it went off again. He wasn't trying to upset Dean, but he was admittedly tired of being treated like the little brother who couldn't make his own decisions.

He rested the mouth of the bottle against his lower lip, the skin between his dark brows pinching. "Why do you eat?" he asked.

"Why do you eat?" Lucifer countered, blue eyes active. Unsurprisingly, he didn't seem affected at all by the beer they were sharing.

Sam frowned. "Because I have to to survive." Lucifer shot him an arched look. "And because it's enjoyable," he admitted.

"I enjoy it too," the blond said, taking a sip from his own beer. "Do you find that hard to believe...?"

Sam felt his chest shaking, and he realized he was laughing. "Yeah, it's really weird," he said, finding he didn't care to hide his thoughts from the fallen archangel anymore.

"You, Sam, I believe, are drunk," Lucifer said, lifting his own beer and wiggling it in the air.

Sam grinned lazily at that. "Yeah... probably a bad idea, but it's too late now." He finished his drink and set it on the table with a clunk. He leaned over, pulling out another from the box on the ground. He twisted off the top, tossed it onto the table and leaned back again, taking a large swig.

"You sure that's wise? It's only me and you here... and I've heard I'm not the safest."

Sam grinned as he lowered the bottle. "I'll take my chances," he said, then he found himself openly scrutinizing the blond as alcohol loosened his thoughts. He was wearing an outfit from the clothes Sam had picked out for him, a fitted deep red t-shirt and dark jeans, his blond hair spiked up rather nicely. Sam liked his hair. "Are you planning something nefarious right now?"

Lucifer's lips curled up slowly. "Funny you should ask..."

Sam shook his head, laughing again. "Yeah?"

The blond stood up, Sam watching with interest. He offered his hand, and Sam placed his in it without thinking. Lucifer pulled him up beside him. Sam's chin dipped, and the blond asked, the words skating across his lower lip, cool air on moist skin. "Do you want to go to bed?"

Sam blinked slowly. "I'm not tired."

Blue eyes locked on him. "Neither am I. That's not why I asked."

The tall brunet felt heat creep up his chest and the back of his neck as his mind slowly made sense. His gaze flicked down to upturned lips. "Ah... yeah, okay."

Lucifer leaned in closer, his words barely a whisper. "Do you want me to make you sober, Sam?"

Sam nodded slightly. "Yeah, thanks."


	5. Chapter 5

Alert green eyes studied a pale white ceiling. "It's too bad we can't sleep outside," Sam said idly, feeling the first twinges of anxiety in his stomach now that he was sober. He was lying on the bed, Lucifer beside him, but oddly the blond hadn't tried anything yet like he'd expected.

"What part of it do you miss?" Lucifer asked, his voice more relaxed than Sam was used to.

"The view, and the air, I guess," Sam said. He frowned when the ceiling slowly began to darken like a bluish black smoke was crawling across it, but then specks of light began to sprinkle its dark surface, and then a moon replaced the ceiling light. A smile pushed at the corners of his mouth when a warm breeze ruffled his hair, smelling of wet grass and trees.

"Better?"

Sam nodded. "Yeah, it's perfect." The anxiety in his chest disappeared only to be replaced by another kind of tension. "Lucifer... thank you, for what you did... out on the patio. I don't know why I drank so much, but I really appreciate it. I wasn't thinking clearly."

"You're welcome, Sam," Lucifer said, his words a soft murmur, "I like to heal you, it makes me happy."

Sam blinked rapidly. "It _does_?"

Lucifer laughed. "You know, it's comments like that that make me worry about regaining my memory."

Sam grimaced. "Sorry."

"Was I really that bad...?" the blond asked, his tone curious.

The tall hunter swallowed hard, not sure how to respond. "Ah..."

"I'd like the truth."

Sam exhaled heavily. "Yeah, you were."

Lucifer said nothing, only nodded.

The tall hunter watched a star shoot across the sky Lucifer had fabricated, it turned from white to yellow and finally to red in its journey before it disappeared. He smiled to himself. "I think I might like this sky better than the real one."

"Thank you, that's quite the compliment... unless I'm God."

Sam laughed at that. "Nice try, but no." He felt the blond roll onto his side, and he turned his head to meet the fallen archangel's bright blue gaze. "What do you want to do tomorrow?"

" _Hmm_." Lucifer wrapped his hand in Sam's shirt and tugged him closer. He pressed his lips to his. "Maybe stay in," he murmured against Sam's mouth before slipping his tongue in.

Sam found himself nodding as he responded, his hand touching Lucifer's chest.

" _Sam_..." Lucifer began to kiss his neck, and Sam tilted his head back with a gasp when teeth nipped sharply at his throat.

"Yeah?" he asked, green eyes slipping shut as Lucifer's mouth began to move against his neck, sucking lightly.

"You like that?" was husked against the skin just below his jaw. Sam nodded faintly, and then he felt a cool hand slide up under his shirt, nails scraping as they trailed back down slowly. "Take off your clothes, Sam."

Sam exhaled sharply, and he nodded again. He sat up, pulling his shirt off over his head. Then he undid his pants, lifting his hips to slide them down and off too. He sat in only his boxers, unsure. He swallowed hard and pushed them off.

The tall brunet lowered back onto the bed, resting on his forearms, and then the next thing he knew Lucifer slung a leg across his waist, and the blond leaned down over him, still fully dressed, pressing his lips to Sam's chest.

"Gorgeous," Lucifer murmured, "you're absolutely gorgeous."

Sam felt a groan rumble in his chest as lips continued to move further down, leaving a trail of heat in their wake, his skin feeling like it was trying to catch fire; then the blond's tongue dipped into his navel. " _Ah-h_."

Lucifer rested his chin on Sam's stomach, rough skin tickling smooth. He smiled up at him. "Do you want to do more tonight?"

Sam struggled to think. "Yeah, I do." He leaned back on the pillow when Lucifer began to crawl back up.

Lips pressed gently to his cheek. "Do you want me _inside_ you?" was husked, quietly.

Green eyes widened, and Sam hesitated at the eerily familiar words. He wet suddenly dry lips, his heart skipping around inside his chest. He began to nod, but a hand grasped his face, stopping him. "No Sam, _tell me_. I need to hear it..."

Sam grappled with his mind. "I—I do."

" _Hmm_?" Lucifer hummed teasingly, grinning against his ear. "Keep going, you can do it."

"I... I, yeah—uh, that." Sam blinked rapidly, panic setting in despite his best efforts.

Lucifer pulled back, shooting him a long look. "What?" He laughed the word. He pulled his lips to one side, tongue pressing into his cheek, as he noticed the tall brunet's sudden paleness and panicked expression. "Sam, what's wrong?"

"I..." Sam pushed himself up, Lucifer moving off to let him. The tall brunet grabbed his boxers off the floor, pulling them on in a hurry. He grabbed his shirt too.

"Sam?"

"I'm sorry, I can't do this," Sam said, running a hand through his hair anxiously. "Lucifer, I'm going to be completely honest with you."

Lucifer settled on the edge of the bed, his expression wary as he eyed Sam. "Shoot."

Sam drew in a slow breath. "You're the devil."

Lucifer blinked. "Okay..."

Sam laughed unhappily. "You're the _devil_ , and, I'm your true vessel."

"My true vessel?" Lucifer asked, some amusement sneaking into his words. "What does that entail?"

Sam shook his head, angry at himself. What was he doing? He shouldn't be telling him _any_ of this. "It means, you need to inhabit my body to use your full powers." He grimaced at his own words, and he opened green eyes he hadn't realized were shut to gauge Lucifer's response.

The blond's chest was shaking.

"Are you _laughing_?" Sam demanded.

Lucifer's shoulders began to shake too. "Sam..." He began to laugh audibly, when Sam growled in frustration. "Why do you like me?"

Sam's mouth dropped open.

"I mean, _seriously_? You what, found me with amnesia, took me in—probably to try to _kill_ me, because you hunt monsters—and you start feeding into your own lies?"

Sam crossed his arms, feeling less angry at that moment. "You think this is funny?"

"Yeah, because it is." The blond sighed through his last laugh, and he stood. "Come here, Sam."

Sam didn't budge.

Lucifer held out his arms in a welcoming gesture. " _Come here_ , I'm not going to do anything evil to you, I promise."

"I can't believe you're joking about this," Sam said, despite relaxing somewhat as the blond merely grinned more widely at his chastising words, gesturing him forward with his hands. The tall brunet frowned, but he found himself slowly edging forward. "What?" he asked, stopping just shy of the fallen archangel's reach.

Lucifer took a step forward, ignoring Sam when he flinched, and wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him close so he could nuzzle into his tense neck. " _Relax_ , Sam," he murmured, breathing in his scent, "I appreciate your honesty."

Sam paused at that, his mind slowly beginning to work more smoothly as he realized nothing terrible had happened yet. "So you're not upset with me...?"

"Should I be?" Lucifer asked with a small grin. "As far as I know you haven't attempted to kill me or do anything else to hurt me the past couple days."

Sam swallowed hard, the action difficult. "Well, no, but I thought about it for a while."

"Good," Lucifer said, sliding his hands up either side of Sam's spine, massaging large muscles as he did. "Otherwise, I'd worry you have no semblance of self preservation."

Sam grimaced slightly as fingers worked on a painful knot near his right shoulder blade. "This isn't how I expected you to take this..."

Bright blue eyes met Sam's gaze. "Maybe you don't know me that well then."

Sam huffed a breath. "Maybe not." Lips pressed gently to the base of his throat. "We don't have a good history," he persisted, "a lot's gone on between us, _really_ bad stuff, you should know that too."

Lucifer sighed as he paused in his ministrations. He shifted back to look at the brunet once more. "Sam, the way I see it, we're both still alive, so as long as you're willing to call a truce so am I."

Sam swallowed hard, his throat protesting. "Why?"

"Why?" Lucifer narrowed blue eyes, not quite holding back a smile. "Why not? I like you." He raised blond brows, nodding, when Sam looked surprised. "I wasn't lying about that. I can't seem to get enough of you." He laughed when Sam took a step back. "Don't be shy now, I trusted you, _completely_ , and you lied to me."

Sam felt a twinge of guilt. "Only because I thought you'd try to kill me."

" _No_ , you mean, because you wanted to kill _me_ , or you wouldn't have brought me here." Lucifer waited for him to deny it. When Sam merely dropped his gaze to the floor he added, calmly, "The way I see it, I'm being generous."

The tall hunter thought over what all Lucifer had said. "So what then, you want to just continue on, like nothing's happened?"

"Not quite," Lucifer said, but he held up his hands in an appeasing gesture when Sam's expression darkened. "That's not really feasible though, is it? If I'm... 'the devil,' he said, using air quotes with obvious amusement, "then I probably have a lot of enemies, am I right?"

Sam gave a half nod and shrug. "Yeah," he said begrudgingly.

"Well then that will need addressed," Lucifer said, and he tilted his head to the side with a mocking grimace as he added, "I may need your help with that."

" _No_." Sam backpedaled until his back hit the wall, terror taking over. "No, I'll _never_ —"

" _Sam_ ," the blond said loudly, "not like _that_." He waited patiently for the tall brunet to process what he'd said. "What I mean is, I know the basics of what supposedly happened... but since I have no memory of personal events... can you help with that?"

Sam blinked rapidly. "You want me to help you take on  _Heaven_?"

Lucifer took a step forward, stopping when Sam tensed. "Yes, that would be great."

Sam breathed a ragged laugh. "Are you _crazy_? Why would I do that?"

The blond shrugged one shoulder. "Why not? You like me, right?" He watched Sam's brows furrow, a sad puppy expression taking over his features, and he took it as a yes. "Then I'm _assuming_ you can't have much love for them..."

Sam wet dry lips, his expression faltering.

"I'm not asking you to go to _war_ with them, Sam. I just want to be able to exist without worrying about them all the time. I mean, unless they don't care about me anymore..." He looked to Sam with arched brows.

"No." Sam cleared his throat and shook his head. "No, they still care. A _lot_."

"Ah. You see? That needs fixed."

Sam struggled to wrap his mind around all that Lucifer had said. He looked up, meeting bright blue eyes, ignoring the tension in his chest. "So you're telling me... you just want to be left alone to... exist? That's it? You don't want to kill anyone... or anything else like that?"

Lucifer nodded innocently. "For now." He continued before Sam could protest, "If they won't allow that though, then I _will_ fight to protect myself, Sam, I have no choice."

Sam thought for a long moment. Then he began to approach the blond carefully, eyeing him closely. "What about the apocalypse?"

The blond quirked one brow, pursing his lips. "Funny thing, without my personal memories, that doesn't really hold any appeal. I'm guessing that was an emotionally driven decision on my part."

Sam exhaled a breath of disbelief. He barely registered the blond pulling him closer. "Say I believe you... what first?"

Lucifer smiled slowly, his right hand gripping Sam's side, holding him close. "First? We finish our vacation. I don't believe in mixing business and pleasure." He leaned forward, stopping just shy of the brunet's lips. "What do you say, Samuel... are you in?"

* * *

Sam stared down at Dean's name on his phone. He needed to call him. If he didn't, Sam was pretty sure Cas was going to show up in his shower, or worse, his and Lucifer's bed at some point. He grimaced, his thumb hovering. How _was_ he going to explain that? He had to tell Dean something.

"You want me to call for you?"

Sam batted Lucifer's foot away from his phone, and it dropped back down to settle on his leg. They were out on the couch, because he'd said he needed to call Dean before they went to sleep. He'd been partially telling the truth, but he'd mostly just been avoiding the bed... "No, I just need a minute."

Lucifer sighed. "I could zap us there if that'd be easier."

" _No_." Sam looked down at the lounging blond. "Dean would lose his mind if he saw you."

The fallen archangel smiled sweetly. "Too bad for him I'm already taken."

The brunet poorly hid a grin. He shook his head. "I'm serious. It's best if he doesn't know about you for now."

"If you say so," Lucifer responded dryly, and then he sighed again. "Are you humans always so slow?"

Sam nodded. "Yeah, even slower if we're interrupted." He ignored wiggling feet in his lap. He drew in a silent breath, holding it a few beats. He'd just call him and tell him not to worry, anything more would be unnecessary. Dean would just try to help like he had with Amy. Green eyes darkened. "You have to promise you won't say anything if you want to stay while I call, okay?" He looked over when Lucifer was silent.

The blond used his fingers to gesture like he was locking his mouth shut. He tossed an invisible key over his shoulder and blue eyes widened innocently.

Sam sighed, and he tapped Dean's name and then the speaker function, lifting the phone to his mouth as he waited. It rang almost twice.

" _Sam_."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Hello, Dean," he said, already feeling exhausted, "I just wanted to let you know I'm fine. But before you ask I'm not going to tell you where I am or what I'm doing, like I've said, I need some time to myself."

"Sammy," Dean said, the older hunter sounding like he was struggling, "I told you, I feel awful about that girl, but I made the right decision. She was a _monster_ , and she was _killing_ people. I had no choice, it's what we do."

Sam wrapped a hand distractedly around a fidgeting foot, stopping it. "I'm not going to argue with you about that again. You were _wrong_ , Dean. You were wrong, and we're never going to agree on that. And you lied to me about it."

Silence followed.

Sam squeezed the foot more firmly when it tried to start wiggling again. " _Anyway_ ," he said, breaking the silence, because he wasn't sure how much longer Lucifer could stay quiet, the angel seemed to have little to no self control. Though, as an archangel and then Satan he probably never had to learn patience. "That's all I wanted to say. Just please stop calling all the time, I'm fine, but I don't want to talk right now."

" _Sam, listen to m_ —" He heard Bobby's voice muffled in the background and then Dean's, his brother sounding like he'd covered the microphone. There was a rustling noise, and then Dean was crystal clear again. "Okay. You do what you gotta do, and when you get over this and realize I was doing you a _favor_ "—Bobby called Dean's name again, but his voice grew quieter and then a door shut—"because you _will_ , Sam," Dean continued more forcefully, "I'll be here, waitin'. Like always."

Sam's face twitched, and he let go of Lucifer's foot, ignoring it as it began to tap an off beat on his thigh. "Don't do that, don't try to make me the bad person here, Dean. You did this, not _me_."

"Are the hallucinations gettin' worse?" Dean asked sharply.

Sam refrained from glancing over at the suddenly still blond. "No. They're, uh, they're gone actually."

" _Gone_?" Dean asked, sounding like he didn't believe him. "What do you mean _gone_? You're not seeing Lucifer anymore?"

Sam swallowed, the blond sitting up at the mention of him. He refused to look over. "No, not for a few days... listen, Dean, I gotta—"

"Go, yeah, yeah," Dean said gruffly, then his voice softened, and he sounded more like the Dean Sam remembered growing up with, "that's great, Sammy, maybe you did need a break from all this. I know it can be hard to deal with. I'm glad you're feeling better."

Sam closed his eyes when Lucifer leaned in, grinning against his neck, and guilt swelled unbearably in his chest. "Thanks, Dean," he croaked.

"Oh, and, Sam?"

"Yeah?" Sam asked quietly, ready to hang up. He pressed lips together firmly when a hot tongue trailed languidly up the side of his neck. His breath caught, and he held in a curse.

"You should bring your new... uh, your new guy friend back with you when you come. I'd like to meet him. Anyone who helped you get that sonofabitch out of your head is okay in my books."

Sam clenched his jaw when Lucifer's chest shook softly against his arm with mirth. "Yeah, maybe... thanks."

He hung up then. He stared down at his phone, not sure how he felt.

"Why didn't you tell me you were hallucinating me?" was asked coyly.

Sam sniffed, clearing his mind, and he lifted his hips to slip his phone in his pocket, the blond's legs draped heavily across his lap. "Because it stopped"—he frowned—"and it wasn't like you think."

Lucifer laughed out loud, and he rested his head on Sam's shoulder, his hair softly poking the tall brunet's neck as he trailed fingertips teasingly across his lower stomach. "How was it then?"

Sam crossed his arms even as Lucifer seemed to edge closer and closer until his entire body was touching some part of his. "You were torturing me and keeping me awake," he said, his tone subdued, and his stomach turned at the unwanted memories, "I got stuck down in the cage with you for a while." He stopped, his mind wavering somewhat. "And, ah, you, the hallucination, I mean, was mad... that I left."

"Hmm..." Lucifer grew still. "What was it like, in there?"

Sam let his chin fall back, resting the crown of his head on the couch, feeling like his thoughts were shutting down on him, his lips going numb. "Worse than you could imagine," he barely got out, "I can't seem to forget it no matter how hard I try."

"I'm sorry, Sam," was said quietly. "Let me help you." Fingertips touched to his forehead ever so lightly, and Sam sucked in a sharp breath as heat and light flooded him, filling his core before stretching out to every corner of his body and mind, warming it, brightening it.

Green eyes opened slowly, and Sam found himself looking into hovering blue.

"Better?" the blond asked, studying him closely.

Sam nodded faintly, relief filling his lungs, and he sighed his exhale, his shoulders feeling suddenly lighter. "Yeah, thanks Lucifer."

"Call me Luce," the fallen archangel said. "Lucifer's so..."—he wiggled fingers in the air—"formal."

Sam laughed roughly, and he nodded. "Yeah, okay. Luce it is." Dark brows furrowed slowly after that. "So I guess, ah, I'm finished now..."

The blond hummed in agreement, a smile curling the corners of his mouth, but he didn't move to stand up.

Sam let out another heavy breath, and he rubbed the back of his head as he glanced around the room. "I think Dean will calm down now... I mean, until he figures out who my 'guy friend' is, then it'll all go to shit again."

"You two fight a lot?"

The tall brunet watched Lucifer recline back onto the couch, his hands cupped behind his head and his legs resting on Sam's lap still. Not that Sam minded; it was actually really nice, the contact, but without any pressure from the fallen archangel. Although, now that he thought about it, Lucifer hadn't been pushy with him at all so far. "Yeah, sometimes it's worse than others, it depends on how big of a dick Dean is being," he hedged, his gaze flicking down to catch exposed skin when Lucifer's red shirt tugged up some as he laughed.

The blond scrubbed at his scruff, grinning slyly. "Oh, Sam, you're so _feisty_ when you're upset."

A small laugh escaped the tall hunter as he shifted his hips forward and slouched down in his seat. He let his eyes drift close, resting his head on the couch cushion. He felt a foot begin to bounce on his leg, so he grasped it. "You have too much energy," he said, and then he began to massage the foot idly, his lips curling some when the blond hummed, sounding content. "Does that feel okay?" he asked, his own voice taking on a rough quality.

"Yeah, it's like you're having sex with my foot," Lucifer grunted.

Sam's chest shook at that, and he ran his thumb firmly along the outer edge of the blond's foot, receiving a rumbling groan in response. "You have sore feet, you should try using your wings more." He smiled when Lucifer laughed softly in response. "So why do you sleep, if you don't have to?"

"Same reason I eat. It's somewhat enjoyable," Lucifer drawled, his smooth voice roughening whenever Sam's fingers began to knead his heel, "Oh Sam, _yeah_..."

Sam felt heat rush up his neck at the blond's suggestive tone, but he continued to work on the knot he'd found, ignoring the growing tightness in his boxers. "So that's why you, uh, want to, with me..."—blue eyes flicked open, a sudden intensity behind them, and Sam found himself growing even more uncomfortable. He cleared his throat and turned his attention down to the blond's foot, softening his touch.

"No, Sam, I don't want to have sex with you because it'd be somewhat enjoyable," Lucifer said, clearly stating what Sam had been alluding to.

Sam nodded, not looking up as his hand stopped. He felt the blond's gaze trained on him. He resisted shifting his hips to ease some of the discomfort. "Then why?" he asked.

"Because I like you, a lot," Lucifer said, the words sounding oddly genuine.

Sam gave the blond's foot a squeeze, his chest filling with some emotion that made it hard to breathe, and he nodded just barely. He hadn't been expecting that answer.

"I'm pretty sure this is where you return the sentiment, Sam..."

Sam broke into a small grin. "Yeah, well... sometimes life is disappointing, Luce." He laughed as Lucifer growled, sitting up, and then the blond was leaned over him, straddling his legs.

"I don't care for your _sass_ ," Lucifer said, his blue eyes darkening when Sam laughed even harder. He leaned down until he was hovering over upturned lips, and the brunet's laugh softened until it was only unsteady exhales. He wet dry lips as he looked into lively green eyes.

Sam reached up, his hand gently touching to the side of Lucifer's neck and then his thumb was tracing along the blond's rough jaw. "I like you a lot too... or I wouldn't be here," he admitted, his low voice barely above a whisper. He felt his heart begin to skip around inside his chest, tickling, and he realized what he'd said as lips descended to cover his.

Sam grunted when teeth bit down on his lower lip, and a hand slid up into the back of his hair, grasping a handful roughly before pulling back. "Ah—" A tongue moved eagerly into his open mouth, and Sam met the heated kiss without hesitation. His hands began to slide over the archangel's tone body overtop him, and then they were inside his shirt, up his back, and then down and around, over his lean stomach and chest, not able to get enough of the sensation.

"Bed now?" Lucifer husked against his chin.

Sam nodded quickly. "Yeah." Then they were suddenly on the bed, and Sam was pushed back onto it. Lips and nipping teeth were on his neck immediately, and he groaned when the fallen archangel flattened his tongue against the base of his reddening throat, dragging it up until he reached his chin.

"You taste so good I just want to  _eat_ you," Lucifer whispered roughly against his mouth, and Sam laughed in surprise even as he felt goosebumps break out all over.

Then clothes were being stripped off in the dark under an unnatural sky, his, then Lucifer's, and lips were pressing insistently over hot skin, dampening it, fingers gripping too hard, bruising—and then Sam felt Lucifer's body lower down over top his, settling between his legs, knees pressing insistently into the backs of his thighs to spread him further. Then the blond's head dropped forward, and a low groan of what sounded like relief sounded from his lips as he rolled his lowered hips forward. " _Sam."_

Sam gasped, grabbing onto the archangel as he began to edge inside him without any warning, and he wasn't sure when he'd lubed himself, but he was slick. His lungs quivered, and he began to pant shallow breaths, his broad chest and shoulders shuddering more with each one, the pain _much_ more than he'd expected. "Ah, this is, uh, this is o-okay for us to do right, with you.. uh—"

"What? With me being _Satan_?" Lucifer whispered against his cheek with a distracted smile. Intense blue eyes filled with lust were partially hidden by heavy lids, feathery blond lashes obscuring their focus. "I guess we'll find out, won't we?" he asked, his voice rough and teasing, and then he slid in all the way, Sam groaning loudly in pain as he buried himself inside of him. "Oh yeah... just _like that_ , Sam, I want to hear you _scream_."

Sam shook his head even as hips began to roll over and over, working to do just that. " _Ah-h_ ," escaped him, his blood heating up, his skin burning wherever the angel touched him: his neck, down to his chest, his stomach, and then around him, inside of him, " _Fuck_."

"Come on, _Sam_ ," Lucifer coaxed, his voice breathy, dripping with a taunting tone, "let me hear you say my name while I _fuck you_."

Sam gritted his teeth, grinding them together, the tall hunter feeling overwhelmed. Then the fallen archangel canted his hips up and hit something inside him that made his entire body pulse as one. His vision whited out, and the air escaped his lungs all at once along with a certain name. " _Lucifer_..."


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sick, so I wrote this.

Sam woke with a drawn out groan. He cracked open his eyes, and they burned as his head throbbed, his stomach turning with a sickening rush. He closed green eyes back, resting the side of his face on cool sheets.

"Uh oh, you look _rough_. Eventful night?"

Green eyes popped open. " _Gabriel_?" Sam rolled onto his back, his entire body protesting loudly at the simple motion, and he noticed sheets tangled around his legs. He was relieved to find he was wearing boxers as said archangel strolled lazily into his bedroom.

"Hello, _Sam_ , I hope you don't mind me dropping by," the sandy blond said in a very unapologetic voice. He tilted his head slightly. "Feeling okay?"

Sam held back a grimace when his entire body seemed to burn under his skin in response. "Yeah, I'm fine. What do you want?" He glanced around the room, a frown taking over his features. "Where's Lucifer?"

"No, the correct question is where are _you_ ," Gabriel responded cheekily. Then he shrugged both shoulders as he stopped to glance out glass french doors curiously, his hands clasped innocently in front of him. "I thought it was time we talked. You shacked up with my older brother, who somehow is _here_ instead of in timeout like our dad wanted him, and he doesn't seem to have _any memories_ to top it all off." The archangel shot the dark-haired hunter an arched look.

Sam pushed himself up into a sitting position, and he couldn't hold in a pained sound as his ribs ached sharply in protest. He felt like he'd been someone's punching bag, but worse. He glared at the waiting angel. " _Timeout_?" he asked incredulously, "Is that what you think the cage was _like_? You know I was there too, right?"

The archangel's easygoing expression seemed to falter at that.

"It wasn't some quiet place to reflect on what you'd done, it was _hell_ , but _worse_ ," Sam said, feeling angry on behalf of Lucifer, "and you all just left him there to die, _wishing_ he could die." Sam paused, collecting himself as he remembered just who was responsible for putting him back a second time. He blinked rapidly. He hadn't known what it was like though, and he hadn't known Lucifer then, not like his family must've at some point. He looked back up, his gaze hardening on the archangel, Lucifer's own brother. He wouldn't have left Dean there no matter _what_ he did. "You all just _gave up_ on him." He clenched his jaw, thinking of all the times he'd thought Dean was going to do the same to him, all the times he'd deserved it. "Lucifer, he's a _good_ person deep down, better than you or _any_ of the other angels. He feels almost _human_."

Gabriel stood silently, the top of his fist covering his mouth as he waited to make sure Sam was finished. "Yes, Luce was our dad's favorite at one point for a reason," he finally said in an uncharacteristically quiet way, "but you're wrong if you think I didn't try to get him out, didn't think about it _every_ day. It was _impossible_ without setting the apocalypse into motion, and I wasn't in a hurry to see Michael kill him, or _worse_ , sacrifice all of _humankind_ so he could be free. Now that we've got that out of the way. Tell me, _Sam Winchester_ , _how_ did he get _here, and_ _what is his plan_? We don't have much time before he realizes something's wrong."

Sam shook his head. "I don't know," he said honestly, if also apathetically, his voice hoarse. He smoothed his hair down, ignoring his aching muscles. "I just found him on the road, a taxi'd run into him. The driver kept saying he fell from the sky. He doesn't seem to have any plans as of now, not without his memories."

The dark blond nodded slowly, blue eyes narrowing in thought. "So you decided to take him here and play house _why_?"

Sam opened his mouth to protest when a quiet cracking noise drew his attention to the glass doors just behind Gabriel. Dark brows furrowed as a layer of thick ice began to crawl up both doors, turning them opaque. "What's..." Sam drifted off, the brunet's breath appearing white as it escaped, and then a small pitchfork was etched just above the angel's left shoulder.

"Well, that's my cue to go," Gabriel said, suddenly in a hurry. He raised his left hand and snapped. Nothing happened.

"Why the sudden hurry, brother?" Lucifer smiled as he held Gabriel by the arm. "Not happy to see me again?"

"Luce, no, of course, I'm _always_ happy to see you," Gabriel said, shifting away as far as he could with Lucifer holding him. "I just thought you didn't want bothered."

"So you took Sam from me instead," Lucifer said flatly, and his expression hardened. "I don't know what it is about you, but I just can't seem to like you. Why... is that?"

Sam watched in confusion as Gabriel's eyes widened all of a sudden, and then Lucifer began to growl lowly.

"Let me ask you a question... _little brother,_ " Lucifer said in a hushed tone, "do you still want to kill me, is that why you're here? Do you think I'm an easier target without my memories? You think you can use Sam against me? Maybe I should just get rid of you _now_ , it'd be a favor honestly with all the self-loathing you have to live with."

Sam stood up, and he wrapped an arm around his aching side. "Lucifer, _wait, no,_ " he said, moving closer.

"Stay back, Sam," Gabriel said, still staring up at Lucifer, his entire body tensed. "I can handle this. Listen, Luce, you can't trust my memories, I've altered them, in case anyone higher up ever checked them. I don't have any intent to kill you. I _swear_."

"So, I should trust you, not your thoughts," Lucifer said, dryly, then his gaze cut sharply over to Sam, who was edging closer. Sam stopped, wincing as his side protested. "What's wrong with you?" Lucifer asked, eyeing him cautiously. "You look hurt."

"No, I'm good," Sam mumbled with a shake of his head, but then his side ached again, and he grunted in pain. "Maybe a little banged up. I'm fine though. Listen, just let him go. Gabriel's a good guy, he's saved my life more than once."

"What about Dean's?" Lucifer asked with arched brows. He smiled smugly when Sam's expression dropped. "That's right Sam, I saw him kill Dean over and over, and _over_ , he didn't care about your feelings the whole time. In fact"—he paused—"he thought it was hilarious."

"That's not _fair_! It was! You should've seen his face _every time_! He even _knew_ it was going to happen!"

Sam scowled at the archangel, not feeling as generous.

"You think loyalty is something to laugh at?" Lucifer asked coolly, "You, who pretends to care so much for humankind? You only care for yourself, _no one else_."

Gabriel said nothing, but he looked over to Sam, his expression pleading. "You can't believe him, Sam, that's not who I am. He can be very convincing, but—" The angel was gone.

The room turned dark once more, and Sam was lying on the bed next to Lucifer. He blinked rapidly, disoriented. "What happened, where'd he go, did you—?

" _Sam_ ," Lucifer said, gently grasping his shoulder. "I just let go of him, he'd been trying to fly away the whole time, he's fine."

Sam shook his head. "What was he going to say though?"

The fallen archangel's hand lifted. "I think you can guess," he said, sounding less friendly. "I got the information I needed from him, there was no point to listen to his thoughts on my _character_."

"What information?" Sam asked, grimacing as he shifted some when a sharp pain shot up his chest.

"My past, from his point of view," was said quietly, then fingertips touched carefully to Sam's forehead, and the pain felt like it was drawn out of him. "I'm sorry I hurt you earlier."

Sam rolled onto his side to face the blond as he fought the sudden, unhelpful rush of blood trying to turn the back of his neck a bright red. "Yeah, uh, no worries," he said roughly. He flinched slightly when knuckles began to graze his cheek, and fingers pulled away in response.

"I think I preferred not knowing the specifics," Lucifer said, his expression distant, "it's different when you see it along with the emotions someone felt. It seems more... real."

Sam swallowed around a lump, not sure what he was supposed to say. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Lucifer smiled softly. "No, I don't."

Sam exhaled tightly, guilt wrapping around his insides as he took in the downcast blond. "We should do something," he blurted, saying the first thing that crossed his mind.

"Like what?" the fallen archangel asked back, seeming disinterested.

"Ah..." Sam grimaced, trying to think of something that could lift the blond's mood or at least distract him from his depressing life. "We could sneak into one of the zoos here, look at the animals."

Blue eyes focused on him. Sam watched a smile tug at the fallen angel's lips, and he felt his own respond in kind. "Are you trying to cheer me up, Sam?"

Sam lifted dark brows. "Maybe, is it working?"

Lucifer's smile grew. "Okay, let's go."

* * *

"Is that the male?" Sam craned his neck to see the large snow leopard near the back of the exhibit. "There are supposed to be two females and one male, I can't tell."

"Yes, it's the male," Lucifer said, leaned over, resting his arms on the first barrier separating them from the large, wild cats.

"I thought they'd be more active at night..." Sam said, disappointed as he searched for the other two leopards. He'd realized the middle of the night wasn't the best time to go to the zoo after they'd found the polar bear and gorillas sleeping. He'd thought the big cats would at least be more awake.

"It's because they're unhappy."

Green eyes flicked over to meet serious blue. "You can tell that?"

Lucifer nodded slightly, standing up. "Come on, let's get a closer look."

Sam started to protest when Lucifer's hand reached out. " _Shit_ ," he cursed, stumbling back a step over suddenly uneven ground, his left shoe catching on a raised root. Then he was sitting on the ground.

" _Just_ a minute, Sam..." was said in a way that had Sam freezing, and he realized bright yellow eyes were watching him from only a few feet away. He watched in alarm as Lucifer stepped between him and the suddenly wide awake snow leopard.

"Easy there..." Lucifer said softly, and Sam waited tensely for the cat to attack. "I won't hurt you, neither will Sam, he's a vegetarian at heart."

Sam frowned as Lucifer began to crouch down, then his eyes widened as he saw the giant male leopard over the blond's shoulder, approaching silently, its predatory gaze trained on Lucifer. He gasped when the wild cat bumped the side of its face against Lucifer's shoulder, and the blond laughed in response. "He wants to eat you, Sam. He thinks you look delicious."

Sam found his throat dry. "Oh..." he replied dumbly. "Ah, you can, uh, understand it... I mean, him?"

"To an extent," Lucifer said, and then more quietly, "do you want to meet him?"

Sam thought for a second. "Okay," he said, watching in disbelief as the large cat rubbed its face affectionately against Lucifer's as he laughed.

"All right, come beside me, he knows I don't want you dead, you'll be fine."

Sam nodded unnecessarily, and he pushed up off the ground, careful not to make any sudden movements. He lowered down, resting on the balls of his feet beside Lucifer. "Now what?" he asked under his breath.

"You wait, if he wants he'll greet you."

Sam nodded, his heart picking up speed as the snow leopard stalked by him close enough he could feel a breeze from it. Then it passed back, giving Lucifer another affectionate rub. "He seems to like you..."

"He likes you too," Lucifer said, grinning over at him, "just in a different way."

Sam watched the white leopard pass by him again, the cat seeming more agitated than previously. "What's wrong with it?" he asked, dark brows furrowing.

"He's frustrated I won't share you," Lucifer said, his expression amused. "I told him he couldn't have you, because you were mine. Slight language barrier..."

Sam nodded slightly, something twisting low in his stomach at the fallen archangel's words. Is that how Lucifer thought of him, as his? Then a large nose bumped his cheek roughly, interrupting his thoughts, and the brunet swayed on the balls of his feet to keep balance as the leopard decided to nuzzle his face. He laughed softly, its nose damp and fur softer than he'd imagined. "Can I pet him?" he asked, eyeing short round ears pointed at him as the cat rubbed against his neck.

"Carefully," the fallen archangel said, "cats can be rather finicky..."

Sam slowly raised his right hand, palm facing the side of the leopard's face, and it leaned into it. He smiled, gently petting the wild cat as it rubbed against his hand in return. "He's beautiful."

"Yes, too bad he's dying."

Sam looked over to meet unhappy blue eyes. "What do you mean? He's the youngest one they have here. Why is he dying?"

Lucifer sighed, standing up. "Everything's dying right now, Sam, that's life."

"But"—Sam stood up too when the leopard pushed against him hard enough he almost rocked back off his feet. He glanced down at it unsurely as it began to pace in front of Lucifer—"is he sick?"

Lucifer raised blond brows. "If you consider depression a sickness."

Sam spoke up without thinking. "Can't you heal him?"

The fallen archangel tilted his head slightly, the moonlight catching one side of his face. "Do you think that's something I just offer out?" The tall hunter frowned, not answering. "I heal _you_ , Sam, because I need to, because I don't want _anything_ bad to ever happen to you. But I can't save everything, this leopard he doesn't need some _gone-bad_ angel juice to fix him up. He needs what we all need in some form. _Freedom_."

Sam cleared his throat. "So he's going to die... just because he's in a zoo."

"Ding ding ding," the blond said with a roll of his eyes, "you figured it out, congratulations, Samuel."

Sam scowled. "Well why don't you just free him? Use your powers to send him back home, or whatever?"

"He was born here," Lucifer replied, his words clipped, more pointed, "and his home was destroyed, by _humans_... or whatever."

Sam squared his shoulders. "You can't blame me for that. I would never have done that."

"Never said you would," Lucifer replied, and then he leaned down again, holding out his left hand to the snow leopard. It walked towards him, placing its face into his palm, its eyes closing as it did. Then a small light emanated from Lucifer's hand for just a split-second. Lucifer sighed as he stood back up. "There, it won't last though," he said. Then he reached out and took Sam's wrist, and they were gone.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A chapter of fluff... haha... well, until the end.

Sam blinked a few times, taking in the familiar space around him. They were outside, on the patio. Lucifer had started pacing at some point. The tall brunet cleared his throat, feeling light-headed. He tried to hide it. "So, uh, maybe the zoo was a bad idea."

Lucifer stopped at that, and he looked over to him, his expression both somehow intense but distracted at the same time. "Don't be ridiculous, Sam."

Sam scowled, dark brows pushing down sharply. "I didn't know I was being."

Lucifer paused, and he sighed audibly. Then he strode towards the tall brunet, and when he reached him he grasped his face and pulled him into a kiss.

Sam opened his mouth, meeting the blond's tongue immediately. He felt hands slide down his neck, and then he was being guided backwards until his back hit the wall beside glass doors, a grunt escaping him from the force.

"I enjoyed our time out," Lucifer said softly against his lips, then he pulled back some more only to move down to Sam's neck. "Thank you, Sam," he murmured just over the brunet's pulse, then he began to suck gently on the sensitive skin.

Sam felt his knees weaken, and his hands grasped onto the fallen archangel's sides as he studied the cloudy sky above. When Lucifer's lower body brushed up against his, a groan rumbled low inside his chest, and lips began to explore the skin just above his collarbone. "Yeah, ah—anytime," he finally got out.

Lucifer chuckled, nipping at Sam's ear. Then he whispered, "What do you want to do now?"

Sam hummed internally. "Whatever you want..."

" _Sam_ ," Lucifer husked, "you _know_ what I want."

Sam closed his eyes as Lucifer's hand began to drag over the zipper to his jeans, his body responding painfully eager, and he groaned when he was palmed firmly. "Okay," he said tightly.

* * *

"We need to leave tomorrow," Sam said, closing his eyes for a second to hold in a groan when his ribs ached sharply on the right side where Lucifer had grabbed him at some point too firmly. The fallen archangel was very strong, Sam had known that, but he wasn't sure Lucifer could control it all the time. He shifted his weight discreetly to keep a grimace from overtaking his expression. He looked over to the blond, who was resting in the crook of his own arm, studying him intently. "This place is rented out to someone next week," he explained.

"We should go somewhere warm," Lucifer said into his arm instead of lifting his face.

Sam smiled some, and then he nodded, shifting again when his side throbbed stubbornly. He moved more onto his left side, facing the archangel, and he breathed out gently as his right side protested loudly at being stretched out.

"How bad is it?" Blond brows lifted.

Sam frowned. "Huh?"

Lucifer lifted only his pointer finger, his blue gaze trained in the direction of Sam's ribs too. "Your side."

"What, no, I'm great," Sam lied but not exactly sure why.

"So the forming bruise in the shape of my handprint, feels good?" Lucifer asked with raised brows.

Sam glanced down to find his skin where it hurt an angry red, and he grimaced. "Oh, yeah, it's not too bad."

"Can I check?" Lucifer asked, reaching out his hand as he waited for an answer. Sam nodded begrudgingly, and when the angel's palm touched gently, he hissed in a sharp breath. "It's broken, in two places," was said quietly, "why didn't you say something?"

Sam shook his head. "I've had a lot worse."

"Sam..." Lucifer kept his hand there, careful not to put any weight on the broken ribs. "What I said earlier about healing you, I didn't mean for you to feel uncomfortable. You should tell me if you're hurt, _especially_ if I'm the one doing it to you."

Sam nodded tensely. "I guess I thought it would pass."

"I'm going to mend them," Lucifer said, not waiting for a response, his gaze focusing for a few seconds.

Sam let out a surprised breath, his side tingling and warming beneath Lucifer's hand, and then it began to cool. He exhaled fully, relieved when he felt no pain. A small pang of guilt twisted in his chest when the blond looked up to him questioningly. "Thanks, that's much better," he said.

The fallen archangel nodded slightly. His hand still resting on Sam's side. "The beach."

Sam blinked a few times. "You want to go there?"

"For a little while," the blond said casually, his hand grazing down Sam's side as he spoke. "Our own private island would be nice. Would you go with me?"

Sam swallowed, Lucifer's hand resting gently on his hip. Was he really going to do this? Become Lucifer's fuck buddy and go on vacations with him, and at some point... try to help him find some way to free himself of his eternal punishment/death sentence? And what about Dean? He wouldn't understand, Bobby _might_ but would die before admitting it. He didn't even know what Lucifer wanted to do with the freedom. Would he still want to just go on vacations, or he would he even want Sam around anymore? Did he care if that wasn't the case—

"I could even bring Dean there at some point if you'd like," Lucifer offered solicitously.

Sam blinked, refocusing. "You'd do that for me?"

"Sam, I'd do just about anything for you," the fallen archangel said quietly, his blue eyes actively searching for his answer on the hunter's face. "So what do you say? You, me, sand and ocean... all the salads you can eat. It wouldn't be the same without you."

Sam felt his lips twitch at the corners, and a warmth he pointedly ignored filled his chest. "How long's a while...?" he asked, trying to still sound hesitant.

"As long as you want," Lucifer said simply, resting his nose lightly against Sam's cheek, "I want you to be happy, Sam."

Sam chewed on the inside of his mouth as he thought, his self-control dwindling. He felt a little guilty about it but clearly not enough. "An island would be nice," he finally agreed, his words rough. He smiled some when upturned lips pressed to his cheek, and then they found his mouth. Green eyes fell shut.

* * *

 

"Where are we...?" Sam glanced up at a round thatch ceiling as he stood in the middle of a bungalow-style house. It was small and simple, the layout like a studio. There was a few feet of wooden counter space near the front door, just enough for a tiny porcelain sink and some cabinets beneath it. A round bed with white sheets took up most of the space and was contained under a sheer, white mosquito net, a tall wooden wardrobe flanked it on one side, a door on the other. Sam walked over, opening the door to find a small toilet, sink, and a shower that looked like he might have to duck to wash his hair inside.

"Sammy, have you tried this?"

He stepped in further to lean out the open-air window by the toilet. He had to lean out further to see Lucifer lying on a red hammock on the porch that wrapped around most of the small beach abode. "Ah, no, not yet," he said, somewhat amused when he noticed the blond was playing with an unfamiliar, straw beach hat in one hand.

"Come out, join me," the fallen archangel said, pouting. "You haven't even seen the beach yet."

Sam broke into a small grin. "Give me a minute," he said, and he shook his head when Lucifer blew a kiss at him, leaning back in the house careful not to hit the top of the window with his head. The fallen archangel had talked Sam into leaving the city apartment soon after he'd agreed to go off to an isolated island with him. Sam had been hesitant at first, but then he'd remembered he was squatting and had decided to be impulsive and just do it. He was glad he had too, because the fallen archangel's mood had quickly gone back to how it'd been before seeing Gabriel's memories: lighter.

Sam glanced down at the round bed as he walked around it to get a change of clothes out of the wardrobe. He'd insisted on unpacking—and all those other 'human things' as Lucifer had so delicately put it—when they'd arrived just a half hour before.

" _Sam_..." Lucifer's complaining voice had Sam laughing as he pulled his shirt over his back and then his head. He smoothed his hair as he searched for a pair of board shorts. He grabbed a black pair, dropping his jeans and boxers, and then stepped into them. If the tall brunet was being honest he was feeling better too. The air was fresh and salty, there was an invigorating breeze that felt warm against his skin, and the sky was a light blue, not a cloud in sight. He could hear waves crashing, and there wasn't a person to be found. No monsters, no demons, no possible victims, or anyone worried over what he might do. Just him and Lucifer. "I'm so _bored_."

"Coming," he shouted back as he stepped into a pair of sandals, and then he made his way for the front door, which was really just an archway. He ducked, stepping out onto the porch, and Lucifer was still lying on the hammock he'd found, or made, Sam wasn't sure which, his face hidden behind his straw hat. "Comfy?"

"You're too late, I'm dead, Sam."

Sam strolled towards the blond. "It would've saved me a lot of stress if I'd known you could die of boredom." He broke into a grin when the fallen archangel slowly lifted the hat from his face.

"You know," the blond said quietly, Sam's smile only growing unapologetically in response, "I'm going to take it as a compliment that you feel comfortable enough to joke about something like that with me."

Sam started to laugh, blue eyes narrowing at the sound. " _Shit_ ," he cursed as he was pulled down and on top of the blond, the hammock creaking and shaking back and forth. He tried to get up, but it only rocked harder in response, so he settled on lying on top of Lucifer instead.

"Hello, Sammy."

Sam huffed a small laugh, Lucifer's lips tickling his left ear. "Hey, Luci."

"Mhmhm," the blond hummed a low laugh. "What am I going to _do_ with you?"

"Accept that I'm the boss in this relationship?" Sam felt upturned lips press to his jaw, the chest beneath him shaking silently.

"I don't think so," was whispered roughly, and then Sam felt strong arms wrap around his waist—and he was suddenly standing in sand.

"Woah..." The tall hunter blinked, swaying slightly at the unexpected verticalness of it all, arms around him steadied him.

"Sorry, too much?" Lucifer asked against his throat, pressing a kiss against his adam's apple when he swallowed hard.

"Yeah, maybe warn me next time," Sam said, but then he forgot what they were even talking about as he took in the scene before him. "Wow..." he said, taking a step forward, silky soft white sand cool on his feet, the water was crystal clear, a faint turquoise hue to it. The tide didn't reach the shore where they stood due to what looked like a huge reef hundreds of yards out, making the waters calm. He could see fish swimming as he looked closer. "It's beautiful..."

"I thought you might like it," was said quietly. Sam nodded in response, glancing over his shoulder at tall palm trees and then back to the inviting waters, the back of his neck starting to itch under the intensity of the midday sun.

"Do you want to go in?"

Sam looked over at the blond, who was dressed in only red trunks, his dark brows lifting. "Yeah, do you?"

"Not particularly but I will," Lucifer said casually, taking Sam's hand in his and tugging him forward, ignoring the answering frown on his face.

The seawater was refreshingly cool on the tall brunet's skin, and he was soon watching small fish dart around his and Lucifer's feet, an easy smile overtaking his features as they moved further out, his body relaxing. He felt Lucifer stop when the water had creeped just above his shorts, and he looked back at the shore. "How'd you know about this place?" he asked curiously.

"Gabriel." Lucifer grinned slyly. "Well... his mind," he amended, "I picked it from his thoughts when I was perusing them."

"Ah." Sam nodded, and he felt the fallen archangel's thumb begin to graze back and forth over his as they continued to hold hands. He cleared his throat, finding the contact surprisingly nice. "Good find," he said with some amusement.

"Thanks," was said dryly, "I aim to please."

Sam shook his head, fighting a smile. "Right." He blinked a few times, his thoughts a nice quiet hum in the back of his mind as he took in all the calm water surrounding them. "A raft would be nice to have..."

"How big?"

Sam glanced over, bright blue eyes closer than he'd expected. "Uh"—he thought for second, hesitating—"big enough for the both of us would be nice."

Lucifer broke into a slow grin. "I like the way you think, Samuel."

* * *

 

"Am I burning?" Sam asked, taking a sip of the piña colada in his right hand. Lucifer lying on his left, his front pressed up against Sam's side, the blond's lips teased his neck lazily. They were floating around the shallow cool waters, the sun slowly making its way down the other side of the sky. They'd talked some, relaxed in silence for a large portion, and Sam'd had a few drinks now, not that he was counting. He hiccuped. "Am I?"

"Yeah, you're on _fire_ ," Lucifer murmured, he began to nip playfully at the brunet's ear. "Do you want another drink?"

Sam blinked, unfocused green eyes peering down at an empty glass. "No. I mean, am I sunburnt?" He grimaced when teeth scraped over overly sensitive skin, answering his question for him. "You hungry?" he asked, the words unwieldy on his tongue as Lucifer's fingertips began to tease his waistline just below his navel, tickling soft hairs.

"Mmhm." Lucifer sucked in an excited breath as he slipped his hand inside Sam's shorts, the brunet's only response to lift his hips eagerly to greet his touch. "Always so ready..." he murmured approvingly, stroking the brunet gently. His gaze raked over the tall hunter's impressive upper body. "Sam... I can't seem to get enough of you, what are we going to do about that, hm?"

Sam groaned, the sound rumbling inside his large chest. Lips pressed softly to his sunkissed skin, the grip around him tightening nicely and speeding up. He shook his head to answer, his mind blanking for him, unhelpful as always around the addictive blond. "So... ah... _food_?" Sam asked, his words as uneven as they were misplaced, considering, his lungs shook with amusement.

Lucifer cocked a grin, his tongue peeking out to trace the tips of his teeth. His pupils dilated as he watched Sam's mouth open in a silent gasp when he gave him a firm squeeze. "Right now... or do you want me to finish this first?"

"You, uh, you can finish," Sam muttered, then lips were trailing along his jaw, stopping when they reached his ear, cool breath tickling it, and the hand around him sped up, making his blood race and whoosh behind his ears.

"Do you want me to suck on it?"

Sam groaned, he nodded enthusiastically, and he began to pant as a hot tongue dragged up the side of his neck.

"Get in the water, and I will."

Sam dropped his glass distractedly, slipping off the raft with only a few seconds of struggle. He stood, water almost to his stomach, and he looked around for Lucifer.

"Looking for me?" was whispered impishly against his shoulder, Lucifer's arms wrapping around his waist from behind. The blond ground up against his backside, hugging him tighter. "Oh _Sam_... I think you might be my downfall."

"Yeah?" Sam asked, feeling an echoing sentiment in his own thoughts. He felt arms release their grip, and then Lucifer was in front of him, lowering down into the water. The crystal clear ocean lapping gently at his shoulders, he looked up, bright blue eyes intense.

"Yeah, maybe I'll impregnate you... would you like a child, Sam?"

Sam blinked rapidly. "You—you can _do_ that?" he asked, alarmed.

The fallen archangel gave a smothered laugh. "You make me laugh, Sam," he said softly, then he sunk underwater.

Distressed green eyes clenched shut as Lucifer set to work underwater, and he cursed as he was drawn into a hot mouth, hands gripping his legs firmly. He couldn't do that, he was sure, he wouldn't—" _Ah-h_ ," Sam gasped when he was nipped at, his right hand touching to the fallen archangel's head, his thumb tapping gently. "Too rough," he said, his low voice unsteady. He relaxed some as lips began to slide over him more nicely, eyelids dipped, and he laughed quietly as the blond continued to work without coming up for a breath.

Before he knew it he was breathing heavily, a familiar feeling lifting him up onto his toes in soft sand, his legs feeling like putty, and he came hard in the back of Lucifer's throat. He hissed in a breath when the blond gave his sensitive body part another playful suck.

" _Sam_!? Sam, what the hell are you doin' here?!"

Green eyes jerked up in disbelief to find Dean marching angrily down the beach, Cas walking behind him more warily.

 

 

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

" _Dean_? What are you doing here?" Sam took a blind step forward, focused intently on his brother. He bumped into an underwater Lucifer, who broke the surface. Blocking his path, he gripped Sam's side playfully.

"How _exciting_ , we have company," the blond murmured.

"Lucifer, _please_ ," Sam said tightly, not sure what he was even asking for as Dean got progressively closer to the water's edge. Castiel had stopped a few yards behind his brother, his eyes wide as he stared at the wet blond in front of Sam like he was a ghost... or, maybe the devil... _shit_.  
  
"Dean, wait..." Castiel trailed off, his body visibly tensing in the distance.

"Cas was finally able to find you, and when he said you were on a _island_ , I wanted to make sure you're okay," Dean said, stopping when he reached the water. He squinted his eyes to try to make out Sam and the blond clearly, his expression torn in some weird limbo between trying to appear okay and extremely upset. "You and your friend, uh... taking a vacation, I suppose?"

Sam grimaced as Lucifer rested his forehead on his right shoulder. The fallen archangel was being rather docile, but he didn't want to see how that would change once Dean recognized him. "Dean, you should _go_ , I told you I didn't want to see you yet," he said tightly, feeling like his throat might close up on him and suffocate him.

Dean studied Sam with Lucifer—who he didn't recognize yet, Sam was certain or he'd be flipping out. The fallen archangel's other arm wrapped around Sam's waist gently, and the tense brunet vaguely noticed fingertips massaging his back lightly.

His older brother looked down at the crystal clear water, seeming to consider wading in. "Sammy, can't we just get past all that?"

Sam stared at his brother, and he felt Lucifer's chest begin to shake silently, his fingertips stilling. " _No_ ," he said in disbelief, " _no, Dean_ , believe it or not, but we can't."

Dean sucked on his teeth and nodded tensely as he stared at the sand to his side. " _Fine_ , but I'm not gonna just leave. I want to meet your new _friend_ ," he said, waving vaguely at Lucifer's back, "and we need to talk about a few things." He sniffed. "It's important."

Sam stiffened, and he grabbed Lucifer's arm, stopping him from pulling away. He felt intense blue eyes studying him, but the fallen archangel let him hold him in place much to his relief. "Cas, please, just go with him, this is a bad idea," he said pointedly.

Dark blue eyes under a messy, black fringe looked up, and Sam shot his most pleading look he could muster to the angel who usually did _whatever_ Dean wanted. "Sam, perhaps you should try being honest with him, he might surprise you," Castiel said, his expression seeming torn despite his words.

Sam held in a desperate laugh. "Are you serious?"

" _Honest_?" Dean asked, he scrunched his nose. "Wait, what's that supposed to mean?" He looked back to Castiel, but when the angel only continued to stare at a distressed Sam, he swung his attention back to his little brother expectantly. " _Sam_?"

Sam held on more firmly to the fallen archangel's arm. "Dean, I... I just— _Dean_..." He pressed his lips together as he struggled to decide what he should say, what he could say to possibly soften the reality of the situation. He sighed, and he released Lucifer; he nodded just barely to the waiting blond, feeling sick to his stomach at the action. Then Lucifer turned around in front of him to face the beach.

"Hello, Dean," Lucifer said with a grin, Dean's eyes widening impossibly, "and... Cas, was it? I feel like I know you..."

Castiel swallowed hard. "Brother. There's something wrong with you."

Lucifer dipped his chin to his chest, a laugh escaping his lips. "Ah, another brother, should've guessed."

"Sam, what the _hell is going on_!" Dean began to stomp into the water, his pants getting soaked even as he pulled a familiar blade from his jacket.

Sam moved in front of Lucifer, holding out his arms. "Dean, _no_ , just stay back, you don't understand."

"Don't understand my _ass_ ," Dean shouted, only stopping when he was within Sam's reach. He held his knife, ready, glaring over Sam's shoulder. "That _sonofabitch_ needs to _die_ before he finds some other way to kill us all."

Sam felt hands touch his back, and he grimaced as Lucifer decided to cuddle him right then, not seeming at all concerned as his arms wrapped around his waist and his rough chin dropped onto Sam's left shoulder to rest. He closed his eyes slowly. "Dean... Lucifer has lost all his memories."

"That explains the discrepancy," Castiel said quietly but not sounding pleased.

Sam spoke back up in a rush when Dean didn't respond right away. "He has _no_ memories, and I just found him on the street after a taxi'd hit him. He's been with me for the last few days... we've sorta become friends... good ones."

Dean stood perfectly still as if in shock, and then as if something hidden had just revealed itself to the sandy blond, he broke into an even darker scowl. " _What_?" he demanded lowly.

Sam kept his hands up as Dean's knuckles turned white around the knife he was wielding. "You can't kill him that way, we both know it, you're just going to cause a fight. Please, Dean."

The older blond hunter didn't lower his weapon, but his grip loosened ever so slightly. His expression slowly shifted to a less aggressive one that Sam hated even more; he was disappointed. "Sam, what are you doing?"

Sam swallowed around a lump, Lucifer still seeming in good spirits fortunately. "I was just trying to... to"—he hesitated, feeling Lucifer's body tense the slightest bit behind him, and guilt flooded his chest, when he spoke back up his words came out angry and defensive—"I was trying to do the right thing, Dean, but I realized... that it wasn't what I'd originally thought it was." He flexed his jaw, waiting for an explosion.

Dean nodded the slightest bit to his surprise, and he said in a hard, rough voice, "And what is the right thing here, Sam? Being Satan's _bitch_?" Sam stiffened at that. "Because that's all I see going on here, _holy fuck, Sam_!" Dean's voice grew progressively harsh, the louder it got. "Do you know what Dad would've thought about _this_ , what Bobby'll _think_ , you're gonna bury him next!" Sam shifted his gaze down silently, his jaw flexing. "Remember how Dad told me to keep a close eye on you, in case you needed _saved_ , I think I know why now, shacking up with the _Devil_?! You've lost your _fucking mind_!"

"I think I've heard _enough_. Sam... is this how you let him talk to you?"

Sam tilted his head, struggling, not hearing Dean's sharp response to Lucifer telling him where to go back to—because, yes, he did let Dean talk to him like that _all the time because it was true_ , and _fuck_ , Dean was possibly in trouble, and he had no way of stopping it, and it was all his fault too.

"No, it's not," was whispered lowly in his ear, causing Sam to startle when Lucifer responded to his thoughts. The arms around him tightened. "Just calm down, I promise I won't hurt your brother, I know what he means to you, Sam."

" _Sam_." Dean was shooting him a hurt look like Sam had betrayed him, which, he kinda really had if Sam was being honest with himself. "Are you just gonna _stand_ there and let him talk to me like _that_?" he barked at him.

Sam blinked, not sure what he'd missed but upturned lips on his neck made him imagine the worst. "Dean, just relax, okay?" he said tightly, nudging amused lips away from his throat only to have them rest in a pout on the back of his shoulder. "Lucifer isn't doing anything, he's just been with me and nothing even remotely bad has happened, there's no reason to be so upset."

Dean shook his head in disgust. "Just because he wants to use you like some sick fuck toy, doesn't mean he's not evil anymore, Sammy," he growled.

"All right, I've had enough of this."

Sam felt Lucifer release his grip on him, and he started to protest, still reeling from his brother's words, when Castiel appeared behind a livid Dean.

"I'm sorry, Sam, you were right," he said, almost sounding apologetic. He turned his gaze on Lucifer, he said nothing, and he vanished, taking an outraged Dean with him.

Sam stood completely still, frozen in place. His brother's words whirled in his mind, taunting him. Dean was right, he was right about—

"Sam." Lucifer's hands were on Sam's face, tilting his unfocused gaze down. "Sam, breathe."

Sam let out a whoosh of air from his lungs, and he felt dizzy.

"Look at me, Sam."

Sam blinked, and he struggled to swallow as he met bright blue eyes up close. Lucifer's. He choked on nothing, and he was pulled down a couple inches with strong hands until his forehead was pressed lightly against the fallen archangel's. He felt his lungs shake as he drew in another breath, the action feeling unnatural, wrong, just like him.

"It's okay. He didn't mean those things."

Sam tried to shake his head, hands holding him still. "No, he did, and he was right, about— _everything_ , my dad wanted him to, to _kill_ me, and he _should've_ , I've only made mistake after mistake since then, I can't be who they want me to be, who I should be, I'm not good enough, I—"

" _Shhhh_." Lucifer's lips touched his ever so lightly. "You're just upset." Sam closed his eyes when they started to burn, and he felt lips press to his again, the feeling comforting, soothing his frayed mind, and a surge of guilt welled in his chest painfully. "Let's go back and eat something, hm?" The words breathed against his mouth. "You'll feel better."

Sam nodded faintly. "Okay," he croaked.

* * *

Green eyes stared down dully at a mostly full plate. Bats screeched softly overhead as they swooped low in the air, feasting on all the bugs Lucifer was obviously somehow keeping away. Sam rested the side of his face in his left hand as he used his other to push around a strawberry he'd stabbed with his fork through a pile of arugula.

He sat outside on the wraparound porch at a small, round wooden table, Lucifer across from him. Dean hadn't called him since their fight, that was a bad sign. Sam frowned again as he finally set his fork down. He didn't want to talk to him, but he was surprised Dean didn't want to talk to him, or at least didn't want to yell at him... He usually was at least up for that. Maybe he'd finally done enough for Dean to wash his hands of him—

"I'd ask you what you're thinking, but..."

Sam didn't look up, he pressed his lips together when they tried to tug up wryly. He wasn't in the mood to be teased. "That's an invasion of privacy," he said quietly instead.

"Is it?"

Unamused green eyes slowly turned up to meet bright blue.

Lucifer leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms, his food abandoned as well. He nodded slowly as he sucked on his teeth. "It comes naturally to me. Is it any different from someone reading body signals or expressions?"

Sam blinked. "Yeah. You're reading my thoughts."

Lucifer grinned somewhat at that. "Only sometimes, and it's not intentional."

Sam frowned, and he straightened up. "How not?"

The fallen archangel chewed on his thumbnail in thought for a few seconds. "I don't know how to explain it to you exactly, it's just started happening recently, ever since your brother's visit... I'm not trying to do it, it's like you're sharing them with me."

Sam cleared his throat, feeling uncomfortable with the explanation for whatever reason. "Oh." He looked back down, focusing on his neglected salad he'd asked for as he tried to not share any more thoughts.

"Are you interested in some dessert?"

Sam let out a heavy breath. "Sure, whatever you want is fine."

"Mm, looks good."

Sam purposely didn't look up.

" _Mmmhmm_ , and it is... you're missing out, Sam."

Sam sighed in frustration and glanced up. He blinked, finding his anger suddenly gone as he watched the blond methodically lick the spoon he was holding, his piercing blue gaze trained lazily on him. "Ice cream?" he blurted. "I mean, you, uh... you like chocolate ice cream?"

Lucifer grinned slowly as he took another bite. His cheeks hollowed some as he held the spoon upside down in his mouth. Sam swallowed hard, ignoring his body's eager response, as he thought back to earlier. The blond casually scooped more onto his spoon. "It's one of my favorites, I think," the fallen archangel said dismissively. He held out his spoon, his expression innocent. "Want a taste?"

Sam found himself fighting a smile. He gave a nod. "Okay," he said, and Lucifer leaned forward to feed it to him. Blond brows lifted expectantly, and he opened his mouth with a sigh, closing his lips around the offered bite.

"Mmm... make sure you get it all," Lucifer murmured lowly as he watched intently.

Sam laughed as the blond leaned back to scoop some more. "You make that sound way too dirty."

Lucifer raised blond brows. "Do I?" He took a bite himself and winked when Sam found himself watching the blond's tongue work to clean it thoroughly. "So what should we do tonight?"

Sam blinked a few times. "Ah... I don't know. I could use some beer."

"Sure," Lucifer drawled, and a six-pack appeared on the table, "any other requests, Master Winchester?"

Sam grinned as he slid a bottle toward himself. "A TV maybe, does this place have electricity?" he asked doubtfully as he glanced around at lit lamps.

"If you want it to it does."

Sam shook his head, biting down on his entire lower lip. "No, that's okay." He took a large swig, enjoying the cold liquid, the night air too warm to be comfortable. He sat quietly, nursing his drink, enjoying the blond's silent companionship. He thought about what he wanted to say for a few beats. "How could you tell he didn't mean it? Dean, what he said? Did you read his mind too?"

Lucifer breathed heavily through his nostrils. "No, I didn't need to, it's obvious how much he cares about you. He's worried."

"So you think I shouldn't be upset with him?"

Lucifer grinned again. "I didn't say _that_."

Sam nodded quietly, looking back down as he thought. "Yeah." He breathed an unamused laugh. "So, uh... thanks for, you know, being there for me after..."

"Anytime, Samuel, I prefer you happy."

Sam looked back up, his dark brows slightly lifting, and he found his mood trying to follow. The irreverent blond seemed to have that effect on him he was finding. "Yeah, and why's that?" he asked somewhat curiously.

Lucifer shrugged one shoulder as he scooped another bite, before holding it out in offering. "Isn't that to be expected?"

Sam took the bite when the spoon's cold tip was touched to his lips stubbornly. He watched Lucifer then take a bite of his own before answering. "No. It's not."

The blond cocked his head slightly, blue eyes suddenly more focused. "When _you're_ happy, Sam, _I'm_ happy."

The tall hunter nodded as he took another drink from the bottle in his hand, his mind suddenly too active. He studied the tabletop as he swallowed carefully, hoping he wasn't sharing any thoughts, because there were only so many reasons that his happiness could or would affect Lucifer's; and one of those reasons was exactly why Sam was still on an isolated island with the fallen archangel instead of back with Dean, despite knowing he should be.

"Deep thoughts, hm?"

Sam jerked his gaze up, and Lucifer grinned mischievously.

"I'm _guessing_ ," he said innocently, and then he motioned at his own blond brows with his spoon to explain, his voice more patronizing, "You always scrunch them up when you think. It's cute."

Sam set his bottle down with a thunk. "I'm not _cute_."

Lucifer said nothing, only grinned a little in response.

Sam stood up, feeling suddenly agitated. He looked around the porch and tried to clear his thoughts, Dean's words refusing to quiet. He balled his hands into fists. "I'm not just some little plaything for you, Lucifer," he snapped.

"Never said you were."

Sam gritted his teeth together at the simple response, feeling more agitated. "I'm going to bed," he said grumpily and walked off and into the small beach house, not waiting for a response.

 

 

 

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

Sam woke with a start. The tall brunet sat up, looking around and feeling disoriented. There was a white netting all around him, the air was too warm, and it was dark.

Green eyes blinked rapidly, the dark-haired hunter feeling off.

"Miss me?"

Sam jerked his head to the right, and his lungs froze as he saw a certain fallen archangel through the sheer white netting, standing in jeans and an old shirt. He blinked rapidly, his brain struggling to wake up. "Lucifer...?"

"Hmmm," the blond hummed in agreement, sounding an odd mixture of amusement and anger, "maybe not the one, you're expecting though..."

Sam felt like the air turned suddenly cold, and he woke up fully. He swallowed hard, watching with a new wariness as the blond began to circle him slowly. He closed his eyes tightly. "You're not real, you're just a figment of my imagination."

"You keep saying that, but _here_ I am..." There was a loud sigh when he didn't respond, Sam keeping his eyes firmly shut. He wasn't real, he wasn't real, he couldn't be—" _Sam_."

Sam jumped, his eyes flying open, and he leaned back from the smiling hallucination that was straddling overtop him. He scooted back only a couple inches before his head ran into sheer netting and fingertips found the edge of the bed. "What do you _want_?"

"So accusatory, that really hurts, Sam," the blond said softly, his eyes uncaring, lips curled in a mocking fashion, "what about all the _quality_ time we've been spending together?"

Sam shook his head. "No," he said hoarsely, "that wasn't you, you're not real."

The hallucination cocked his head slightly, and his expression hardened the slightest bit. "Oh, I'm _real_ , Sam, more real than that _shell_ you've been bonding with. I've still got all my memories, I know what it felt like, _all of it_... how you forced me back into the cage, then just _left_ me there, and soon, he will too, what will you do then, hm?"

Sam resisted falling off the back of the bed as the imagined blond began to crawl up toward him. He felt icy cold breath on his lips, and he craned his head to get away from the sensation only to feel it on his cheek. "He knows about that, he doesn't care," he said, struggling to believe himself.

Soft laughter shook the hallucination's chest. "Oh, Samuel... so naïve. Now... _on_ to the fun part, what should we do now that I'm back? We need to make up for lost time." Sam felt his mind begin to race in panic. "Fire or... something more painful? Let's do fire first, then we'll go from there, sound good?"

Sam began to hyperventilate, and he could smell smoke. He choked on it, his toes beginning to heat up first, like always—it wasn't real, it wasn't—his legs began to burn, and he held his mouth firmly shut. He wouldn't scream, it didn't help.

"Oh Sam, come _on_ ," was whispered in his ear, "just a little scream, so I know you're feeling it."

Sam gritted his teeth, the heat intensifying as it licked at his torso, and he couldn't breathe, his lungs screamed.

" _Sam_?"

Everything disappeared. Sam felt his lungs spasm, much needed air whooshed in, and he felt the bed shaking. Then he felt a gentle hand on his bare shoulder, but he refused to open his eyes in case he was imagining it too.

"Sam, what's wrong?"

Cool fingertips touched to the center of Sam's forehead when he refused to answer, and he grimaced as a bright light flooded him, his body cringing from the overwhelming intrusion.

"It's okay, just stay still," was said quietly.

Sam slumped his shoulders when the touch finally lifted, and he was left feeling like he'd just ran a marathon but without the soreness. He opened his eyes slowly, feeling exhausted, and his heart skipped anxiously as bright blue eyes met his gaze. "Sorry," he mumbled.

The blond's lips tugged up faintly on one side. "What for?"

Sam swallowed, his throat dry, and he dropped his gaze down to his lap. "I was, ah, hallucinating, I'm fine."

"Is that what that was?" was asked curiously.

Sam lowered down on the bed, his muscles tingling and feeling like putty. "Yeah, sorry if I yelled."

"You didn't."

Sam breathed out slowly, his lungs releasing the air unsteadily. His eyes had closed.

"I felt you."

Green eyes opened. Sam blinked, the blond silent. "Oh." He felt like he should say something, but he couldn't think, his brain buzzing tiredly.

"Was it the hallucination of me again?"

Sam felt the urge to roll onto his side to face the fallen archangel, wanting to be closer to him, to touch him. He turned onto his other side instead, curling his large body up somewhat. "Don't worry about it, I'm fine," he said roughly.

There was a moment of silence, and then Sam felt the bed shifting, and a solid body settled close behind him, an arm wrapped around his side carefully. He struggled to keep himself calm.

"I'm sorry, Sam," was said quietly.

Sam choked a laugh. "You didn't do anything."

There was silence. The blond relaxed behind him, moving closer until their bodies were touching almost everywhere, his forehead resting on the back of Sam's head and one of his feet sneaking between Sam's calves. "Do I always hurt you?"

Sam hesitated, the question feeling foreboding. He felt a cool breath on his neck, the soft hairs standing up at the sensation. "I... uh, no, we've just talked before, I mean—not you, the hallucination. Sometimes it just gets angry with me."

"Why?" was asked, Lucifer's tone cautious but still curious.

Sam struggled. "Ah, could we talk about something else right now?" he asked tightly, just barely keeping the pleading out of his voice.

"We don't have to talk at all," was Lucifer's response.

Sam felt the arm around his waist slide up around his chest, and an open palm settled over his unsteady heart. He felt it begin to warm unnaturally, and he panicked. "What are you _doing_?" He started to pull the hand away.

"Slowing your pulse," Lucifer said simply, and Sam relaxed his grip over Lucifer's, unsure. He felt the heat return, and then his heart began to calm. "Is that better?"

Sam closed his eyes, they burned, and he nodded just barely. He tried to focus on the soft sound of bats flying just outside, and then the waves further off. He felt lips press gently to the back of his ear, and he exhaled jerkily. "I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing, Sam," was his response.

Sam breathed out again, his chest loosening some from its vice grip, and he felt Lucifer's nose trail a feather light path along the nape of his neck. "Thank you then," he said, he cleared his throat, "thank you for understanding."

"I don't understand," Lucifer murmured against his neck, "but I don't need to. One does not need to understand another's plight to sympathize with their pain."

Sam laughed, the unhappy sound shaking his chest. "I guess not," he said, feeling guilty. Then a thought popped into his head. The hallucination had shown up for the first time in days since he'd been in Lucifer's close proximity. "Where were you, just now?"

Upturned lips pressed to his shoulder. "I was taking care of something..."

Dark brows furrowed, a sinking feeling stopping Sam from asking the next question he had.

"Dean and I resolved his issues with me."

Sam turned instantly. " _What_?"

"Wow, I feel like you don't trust me, Sam," Lucifer said, his playful smile doing nothing to calm the hunter. When Sam's expression only grew more concerned the fallen archangel added, "I promise, I didn't harm your brother... even though he and mine tried their best to kill me."

Sam blinked. "Did you hurt Cas?"

"No, your brother's attack dog is still with him," Lucifer said dryly but with obvious amusement. "You Winchesters have quite the potent effect on us angels, don't you?"

Sam said nothing, the comment causing something in his chest to twist uncomfortably. "So what happened?"

Lucifer leaned in closer, and he cupped the side of Sam's neck. "I merely used _Cas_  to demonstrate the wrong way and the proper way to treat and speak to a younger brother."

Sam's mind supplied many unpleasant ways the fallen archangel might have done that, each one worse than the prior. " _And_?" he asked, holding in a guilty grimace.

 _And_ , I told him that _you_ "—his mouth gently grazed Sam's lower lip, tickling it and sending a subtle chill down the tall hunter's spine, and he pulled him closer with a soft exhale—"that you, Sam Winchester, are _mine_ now."

Sam let out an unsteady breath, not sure if he was terrified, or something else entirely he didn't want to entertain. "Yours...?" he asked, barely able to get the word out.

" _MmHmm_." Lips crushed against Sam's, and the tall hunter tried to think even as he responded without hesitation, hands grasping and tongues meeting needily. The fallen archangel pulled back when Sam began to pant. "Samuel," he murmured against parted lips, "you can't leave me now."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eeee, you guys make me smile with your comments! I have written more as a thank you. ^_^

Sam sat on soft, white sand, the sky before him orange and green at the horizon, directly above him was still a deep bluish-purple but brightening slowly as the night wore off. The rising sun reflecting in the sea, its yellow light stretched out in the calm waters.

Goosebumps broke out on his bare torso and arms when a cool breeze ruffled his bed-mussed hair, and the tall hunter rubbed idly at his left bicep as he sat in silence. Lucifer was back at the small beach house, showering. Sam had snuck out after the water had turned on. He'd needed some time to himself, and the empty beach gave him privacy, well, at least it gave him the illusion of having privacy.

" _Shit_." He rubbed his palms into bloodshot green eyes, he hadn't gotten much sleep. He hadn't been able to, not with Lucifer's words repeating in his mind over and over like a loud broken record. He really didn't know what he was doing anymore, he'd thought that all along, but now it was undeniable. He didn't know if Lucifer was slowly becoming more unstable, or if he was expecting too much from the fallen archangel. He was, after all, an archangel, fallen or not, and the only other ones he'd met hadn't been like _any_ human he'd known.

So Lucifer had said he was _his_ , and so he'd kinda sounded like a serial-killer or obsessed boyfriend, or both, when he'd said he couldn't leave him ever. That didn't actually make him one... right?

Sam groaned as he ran a hand up into dark locks. He needed to call Dean, to let him know he was okay, and to ask Cas a few questions too, if the angel would be willing. He needed more information to try to figure out what or who could've removed Lucifer's memories, so he could have some sort of idea as to whether or not it was reversible or possibly permanent. That was, if Dean was even still talking to him now after Lucifer's nighttime visit.

He sighed, his chest rising and falling slowly. He pulled out his phone from his shorts' pocket and checked for a signal. _Nothing_. He chewed on the inside of his lower lip as he stared at the screen, wondering if Lucifer would help him with that.

"Of course I would."

" _Ah_." Sam jumped, craning his head around to find Lucifer strolling lazily towards him, dressed in a black graphic t-shirt and red swimming trunks, leather flip flops on his feet.

"Oops, sorry, too early for mind reading?" the blond teased with a small grin.

Sam frowned and looked back down at his phone. "I don't have signal here, Dean might need me."

"Hmm." Lucifer settled down beside him, his arms wrapping around bent legs casually. He looked out at the sea and exhaled audibly. "Nice view."

Sam swallowed quietly and nodded, his gaze still trained on his phone, and he ignored his pulse as it sped up predictably with the fallen archangel's close presence.

Lucifer leaned his head towards the brunet slightly. "You know, you can always be honest with me, Sam..."

Sam looked up, and he found himself meeting a bright blue gaze up close. "I am," he lied poorly.

Lucifer rolled the tip of his tongue out to rest on his lower lip, and he huffed a laugh.

Sam frowned, his muscles stiffening. "Are you calling me a liar?"

Lucifer shifted, resting his hands behind him, and he stretched his legs out in front of him, the movement deliberate. "Last night was nice... you're much more flexible than I'd expected for such a tall guy," he said distractedly.

Sam blinked a few times, and he felt heat crawl up the back of his neck, the air in his lungs expanding uncomfortably. He shifted his gaze back down, his mind stubbornly recalling the night before despite his best efforts to do the exact opposite.

"Sam, if you don't want to be here with me anymore, just say the word, and I'll snap you back to big brother and his angel boyfriend," Lucifer said, his tone bordering bored.

Sam looked back up at that. "But I thought... what about—last night you said..."

"I said what I felt," Lucifer said, his tone even and surprisingly solemn, "I can't imagine how it would affect me if you left, but I'd never force you into anything that made you truly unhappy. I will admit though, I would be incredibly... _displeased_... if you ever chose to, but ultimately it would still be your choice."

Sam sat quietly for a few beats, the silence stretching between them heavily. He was tempted to say he wanted to leave right then, except... he was the one who'd found Lucifer, and he'd taken him to his place, lied to him, gotten close to him, decided to be intimate with him; he'd even agreed to going to the island where he now felt stranded. "But you barely know me," he said finally, his voice hoarse, dark brows furrowed.

Lucifer tilted his head, and he shot him a small smile. "I know you better than you think. You were made for me, Sam. You said it yourself, you're my true vessel. When I look at you, I see what I must have been before I lost all hope."

Sam felt a plethora of conflicting emotions. "You're attracted to that?" he asked, confused, because now that he thought about it, he kind of felt the same way towards the fallen archangel; and he was terrified too, if he was being honest, because what did it say about him to be so similar to Satan?

"I feel a strong connection to you," Lucifer answered him simply, looking out on the water again as the sun finally broke away from the horizon. "So what's it going to be, Sammy? Big Brother Dean, or breakfast?"

Sam buried his toes in the soft, cold sand, his thoughts frayed. He tried to imagine leaving Lucifer right then, going back to Dean, trying to find a way to kill or trap the fallen archangel again, because that would be _all_ Dean would want to do, he was certain. He was probably doing it right then, he and Cas, and whoever else they could get help from, all working to bring down the blond beside him. He drew in a silent breath, his chest tight, and he looked over, Lucifer watching him. "Can we have waffles with fruit?"

Lucifer smiled at that. "I remembered the honey too."

Sam laughed a little. He stood, and when he began to make his way back to the beach house beside the blond, their shoulders grazed before fingers curled gently around his, and he felt a smile tug at his lips.

* * *

"I feel kinda bad." Sam was lying on his back atop an oversized white raft, sunglasses on to block out the sun as it hung high in the sky. "I mean, about Dean..." He trailed off as lips began to caress the highly sensitive skin on his neck just below his jaw.

"I can help with that," Lucifer whispered in his ear. Then he opened is mouth wide and bit down on the entire side of Sam's neck and held it.

The tall brunet didn't quite hold back a groan, his hands reaching up and grasping onto soft red material. " _Shit_ ," he cursed, pulling Lucifer down closer when his grip tightened on his throat. "I mean..."—he struggled to think, the blond's warm body resting atop his in too many places—"maybe I should, should talk to him, _again_ , just, ah, the two of us... alone."

Lucifer's teeth lifted from Sam's neck. He leaned back some to look the hunter in the eye. "He's not trustworthy, y'know that, right? He'll try to take you away, whether you want to leave or not."

Green eyes widened, and Sam frowned in thought, because he was right. Dean would do everything in his power to get him away from Lucifer if he got the chance, and he'd probably lock him up afterward too in the panic room 'to _help_ him damnit'. "Well, you can stop him... right?"

Lucifer grinned, and he dipped back down until he was lying on top of Sam completely. The two of them floating over crystal clear waters under a clear sky, schools of small fish darting just beneath them. "If you ask me nicely..."

Sam laughed softly, and he relaxed, closing his eyes as Lucifer rested just below his chin, his damp blond hair softly poking his neck. "Would you please do that for me, Luce?" he asked, his low voice rumbling gently in his chest.

"MmHmm, just for you, Samuel."

Sam smiled, and let himself relax further. "Okay, tonight then, maybe tomorrow," he said, no longer in a rush, his mind slowing down. "We should do something..."

Upturned lips pressed to his earlobe. "Have you ever been whale watching?"

Sam woke some at that. "No, can we do that?"

Lucifer hummed a laugh. "You know, there are only two beings stronger than me, right? And I'm pretty sure one of them is gone by the way Gabriel grieves for him."

"Michael's dead?" Sam asked, surprised by the news. Not that he'd ever remembered anyone but Lucifer in the cage, but he'd rationalized that it was possible the unlikable archangel and Adam hadn't made it into the cage, that maybe only he and Lucifer could actually enter it.

Lucifer shrugged one shoulder as he sat up some, looking out at the sea beyond the reef, his expression unreadable. "We'll need a large boat... maybe one with a bedroom below." He winked down at a distracted Sam. "What kind of whales do you want to see today? You can pick."

Sam thought for only a second. "How about orcas?"

"Orcas it is," Lucifer said, and then he cocked his head and shot Sam a patronizing look. "Not quite whales though, Sam... but I'll overlook it since you're so cute."

Before Sam could answer Lucifer reached out, his middle finger and thumb encircling his wrist, and he closed his eyes in preparation.

Sam's feet were suddenly on solid ground, that swayed. He opened his eyes, taking in the _yacht_ he stood on, and he found himself leaning heavily against Lucifer as his body tried desperately to orient itself.

"Sorry," Lucifer said quietly, his arms wrapping securely around Sam's back, his thumbs hooking just inside his shorts. "They're not here yet, do you want to look inside?"

Sam blinked slowly, and he nodded faintly as he stood firmly planted, looking around, only dark blue waters in every direction, the air hot. "Why didn't we just go where they are?" he asked gruffly, he cleared his throat when it felt too tight. The fallen archangel's broad knowledge and growing ability to use his powers despite not being able to recall his own past was unsettling but impressive.

"They're traveling," Lucifer murmured as he slid his hands down further into Sam's shorts, "Jesus Christ, your voice is so sexy. _Sam_... come _inside_ with me..."

Sam's breath caught in a laugh at the unexpected exclamation, Lucifer's lips on his collarbone, smiling; and he nodded again, finally letting the blond tug him slowly towards a door. "Yeah, okay."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A gift for you all. Leave some love at the end if you enjoyed please! <3

Sam leaned his elbows on the white railing of the yacht. He watched black dorsal fins below rise from choppy, dark waters only to slip back under a few seconds later. They were somewhere in the Caribbean. The deck beneath him rocked, the wind picking up and getting cooler as the sun began to set. "They're so peaceful to watch," Sam said, "thanks for bringing me out here today."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it, I had a good time with you," Lucifer said, the blond on his right side, leaned over too, quietly watching the orcas with him. "They have a very extensive vocabulary for animals."

Sam turned to look at the angel. "What are they saying right now?"

The blond paused for a second, and then he met Sam's gaze, his expression unusually somber. "They're mourning the loss of one of their sisters."

Sam blinked a few times, and he glanced down at the waters before looking back to the blond. "What happened to her?"

Lucifer leaned into his fist. "Whalers."

Sam stood straight up, frowning. "Isn't that illegal?"

"Not here evidently, or maybe it is, I don't have all the answers, Sam." The blond sighed heavily through his nostrils then.

Sam studied him for a few seconds when he didn't say anything else, unsure. "So, uh, is that all they're saying...?"

Lucifer blinked. He tilted his head to look up at Sam. "They're planning to move, far away, and never come back."

Sam nodded slightly. "I feel kinda bad watching them now, like we're intruding."

Lucifer straightened up, and he shrugged. "They don't seem to mind." The blond scrubbed a hand over spiky blond hair, seeming agitated. "Let's go in for a while. Do you want to stay here tonight?" he said as he walked over to the door that lead to the inside. He stopped, waiting with his hand on the handle.

Sam blinked. "Oh, uh, yeah sure, sounds nice," he said, walking over too. He stopped, raising dark brows expectantly when the door remained shut. Lucifer used his other hand to wrap around his neck to pull him closer and down, against his lips.

The kiss was soft and slow, something about it feeling distinctly different from any of the past ones they'd shared. Sam felt Lucifer shift closer, his other hand suddenly trailing a gentle path up along his left arm as their kiss deepened. Then Sam felt the archangel pull back, and he kept his eyes shut as he worked to slow his breathing.

"Come along now, _Sammy_ ," was said dryly, and Lucifer opened the door for him.

Sam stepped into the oversized cabin, the air chilled nicely, and he watched Lucifer take a few steps and hop over the back of a grey leather sofa, disappearing from view. He trailed over to find the fallen archangel lying on his back, his hands clasped over his stomach, a crooked grin on his lips.

"Movie night and junk food?" Blond brows lifted solicitously. "You can pick the line-up."

Sam smiled some, the offer tempting. "Ah..." He remembered Dean, and the fact that he couldn't reach him if he wanted, and that he was probably still freaking out, considering their last interaction. "Could you make my phone work if we do that? I think Dean might be trying to call."

Lucifer laughed, sounding incredibly tickled. "Oh, he is, he's been trying all day, it's kinda pathetic."

Sam frowned immediately. " _What_? Why didn't you _tell_ me?"

Lucifer rolled his eyes, and he reached out to touch the glass table a couple feet away. "Because you didn't ask me to, I thought you didn't care."

Sam's expression grew even darker. " _Didn't care_? I didn't _know_ that was something you could even know! How _do_ you know that?"

"I've been keeping tabs on him," the blond said innocently, looking back up at Sam. He gave an exaggerated cringe. "You might want to reconsider calling him, I know I would if I were _you_..."

Sam opened his mouth to respond sharply, but then he paused and closed it back. He reeled in his anger and spoke quietly, "What do you know?"

The blond broke out into a smothered laugh at that, and Sam crossed his arms over his chest, his jaw flexing hard. "Oh, I know a _lot_." Dark brows furrowed in confusion. "I know your worst fears... I'm not going to lie, clowns surprised me a _little_ , I know about your—in Dean's words—unhealthy obsession with dogs, your stint on demon blood, glad you kicked it by the way, addiction is a bitch. And I know about your mom and dad, how Dean raised you 'the best he could' "—he used air quotes—"how you tried to leave and start your own life, but you got dragged back in, how he killed your friend Amy and lied to you about, and, _wow_ , I mean, I wasn't lying when I said a lot, Dean is reminiscing like you're dead."

Sam blinked, uncomfortable, unamused, and angry too. "Tell me why I wouldn't want to call."

Lucifer sighed. "I can't tell you that, Sam."

"Why not?" Sam waited.

"Because..." The fallen archangel sat up, appearing to consider his response for the first time Sam could recall. "It's better if you don't know."

Sam felt like something heavy dropped into his stomach. "Just tell me, I want to know."

Lucifer looked up to him, blue eyes probing, and Sam stared back stonily; he looked away as he said, "He's planning to kill you if he has to, to 'save' you." The blond rolled his eyes on the emphasized word, but he looked agitated instead of amused.

Sam nodded tightly, his throat squeezing and chest constricting. It wasn't a surprise, but yeah... actually, it kinda was. He wasn't hurting anyone by being with Lucifer, and he wasn't unhappy, shit, he was _really_ happy, happier than he had been in a long time, maybe ever. What was Dean _thinking_? "Yeah," he forced out to distract himself, "well, he doesn't want to though, right?"

Intent blue eyes focused on unsure green orbs. "Of course he doesn't."

Sam swallowed, the action difficult, because it seemed like the angel was holding something back. "But?" He lifted dark brows.

Lucifer's lips twisted up on one side, the expression a little sad. "If you're hoping to be made feel better about this, Sam, you should probably find someone else, I'm sorry."

Sam exhaled slowly, just realizing he'd been holding his breath. "Yeah, no big deal, I'm fine."

"No you're not," Lucifer said quietly, and then, "come here."

Sam looked down unsurely, but he let Lucifer grasp his right forearm and begin to pull. He exhaled unsteadily, and he climbed over the back of the curved sofa, settling overtop the blond, who had lowered back down onto soft grey cushions. He lay on top of the slightly shorter blond, his head resting against his shoulder. "Am I too heavy?" The chest beneath him shook.

"Sometimes you forget who I am, don't you?" was said in a warm, teasing tone.

Sam smiled some. "Maybe." He exhaled heavily, enjoying the feel of Lucifer's body against his if nothing else. "You mentioned a movie night?" he asked, trying for upbeat.

The huge curved TV flicked on to a blank screen, then a pizza box, a bin of buttery popcorn, a case of beer, and several candy boxes appeared on the glass tabletop. Sam felt a warm hand begin to rub at a small bundle of knots in his lower back, and he grunted a small breath, relaxing somewhat.

"What kind of movie do you want to watch? Something funny, sad, exciting, bloody?"

Sam closed his eyes as talented fingers worked their way up his tense back, and he felt lips press to the top of his head, a warm feeling flooding his chest. "You can pick," he murmured.

* * *

A blood curdling scream and flashing lights filled the dark cabin. The movie was nearing its climax, a scared girl running through a pitch-black forest, a monster at her heels.

Sam was now on the couch on his back, shirtless, Lucifer was overtop of him. He was breathing quickly, lips and teeth working on his neck, their lower bodies grinding against each other through too much clothing.

"Sam, I want you _so much_ ," was whispered lowly in his ear. Then Lucifer rolled his hips down harder, and Sam groaned at the sensation, his hands gripping the blond's sides roughly.

Sam nodded, agreeing wholeheartedly. "Yeah, okay." He felt the weight on him lift, and he blinked, watching as Lucifer grinned down at him wickedly, and then he shifted around to push down and kick of his shorts.

Lucifer hummed, the sound rough and sending chills down Sam's spine. "So much clothing, let's fix that." He peeled Sam's shorts off, the tall brunet lifting his hips to help. Then Lucifer was overtop him again.

" _Ah-h_ ," Sam gasped, as Lucifer began to roll his lower body up against his, sliding silky skin against silky skin. His chest shook unevenly, and Lucifer dipped down to press his lips along his jaw, keeping the movement slow and deliberate.

" _Ohh Sam_ , why do you feel so good _every_ time?" Lucifer murmured against his throat. "It just gets better. You're like a drug to me." Then he nipped sharply at the brunet's adam's apple.

Sam huffed an amused breath, the sentiment echoing in his thoughts. He arched his lower back some when a hand wrapped around them both, squeezing them together firmly, and then it began to stroke.

"Sam, _Sammy_ ," Lucifer husked, his gaze going unusually unfocused as he pumped his hand over them, Sam's a little longer but not as wide. "You're so perfect."

Sam groaned, Lucifer's hand getting wet with precum as it continued to work over them. "Luce... _please_ ," he said.

Blue eyes grew suddenly sharp, and Lucifer's lips twitched. "You want it?" he asked, slowing down, but his grip grew more firm, and Sam arched into the touch. "You want me _inside_ you, Sam?"

Sam nodded, and he spoke around jagged breaths. "Yeah, I want it."

Lucifer smiled then, biting down on his lower lip. He released his grip around them. "Roll over."

Sam rolled onto his stomach, and then he felt a cool chest on his upper back, teeth on his left earlobe, holding him still; and something hot and blunt, slickened, pressed at his entrance. "Do it," he breathed.

" _Mmmm_ ," Lucifer practically purred as he slid in, and Sam gasped at the wide intrusion. The blond inched in until he was fully inside him, then instead of his usual roughness he began to just rock up against him, not pulling out any. " _Samuel_ , so good. _So good_."

Sam nodded jerkily, then he felt a hand on the back of his neck, and it planted his face into the cushion.

"Just stay like that," Lucifer said roughly, his words almost a whisper, and he began to rock harder, tilting his hips some, and began to brush the bundle of nerves inside the brunet. Sam groaned long and low into the cushion. "Come on, Sam..."

Sam felt his thoughts grow dizzy, the air too warm, and he wasn't getting enough oxygen. He felt a familiar rising down low as Lucifer continued to rock up against him. " _Fuck_ ," he cursed into the now hot cushion, panting for air, his eyes clenched shut, his entire body tingling in anticipation, and his thoughts growing more distant.

"Come on, _almost_ there, just _relax_." Then Lucifer canted his hips up, and everything went white behind Sam's eyelids.

Sam _groaned_ , and then he felt hot liquid begin to fill him, the sound of his name escaping Lucifer's lips like an obscenity. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

"Come on, Sam, let's get you to bed."

Green eyes cracked open, and Sam grunted tiredly as he let Lucifer pull him up off the couch. The third movie they'd watched that Sam couldn't recall past it being about a pianist was scrolling its credits. He'd mostly just been enjoying the feel of Lucifer pressed up against him, gentle lips teasing his skin, cool breath tickling his jaw, rough fingertips kneading into tight muscles, slowly relaxing them until they felt like putty.

"Come along, you need to sleep."

Sam laughed roughly at the sentiment as he was guided towards a door past the TV. Lucifer let go as they entered the bedroom. It was decently sized with a california king-sized bed taking up more than half of the space. Lucifer stood at the foot of it, glancing over at Sam curiously. "What's funny?"

Sam laughed again, and he let himself fall forward onto the bed, grunting as he pushed himself up until his feet didn't hang. "You, I mean the hallucination, he never wanted me to sleep, it's strange you want the opposite." Sam sighed then, feeling like he was melting into the bed, it felt like a memory foam mattress if he had to guess.

"You think he and I are the same?"

Sam pressed closed eyes together in a blink of sorts without opening them. "No"—he paused, trying to wake his mind up some to answer—"just, well I guess... I mean, you kinda are—not in a bad _way_ , but you are." Sam still didn't feel Lucifer's weight settle onto the bed. He opened his eyes to find the blond staring down at him. "What?"

Lucifer gave a small smile, the expression not reaching impassive blue eyes. "Nothing, Sam, just get some rest. I'm not sleeping tonight."

Sam furrowed dark brows, and he started to push up. "Why not? What are you doing instead?"

The blond walked over to a narrow closet that held both their clothes. He opened it, pulling out a black t-shirt and tugging it over spiky blond hair. "I'm meeting with Gabriel, he wants to talk, and I need more answers. I'll be back before you're up."

Sam blinked a few times, and he felt a twinge of anxiety at the thought of being left alone again. The hallucination had only bothered him the one time Lucifer had left, and he had a feeling it would be less happy since their last 'conversation' had been cut short—"Can I go too?" When Lucifer said nothing Sam added, "You can just heal me, right? So I don't need to sleep?"

The fallen archangel nodded slowly, the tip of his tongue pressed into his cheek. "Okay, if you want to."

"Yeah, definitely." Sam jumped up, suddenly awake. He walked over to where the blond stood and started to reach into the closet for a shirt.

"Wait, can I pick?" Lucifer's hand was on Sam's outstretched arm.

"Ah, yeah okay..." Sam said, and he watched unsurely as Lucifer deliberately flicked through each of his shirts until he found a solid white one. He pulled it out and offered it to him with lifted blond brows. Sam bit down on his lower lip gently, and he cleared his throat softly. He took it and pulled it over his head, smoothing it over his chest and stomach. "Look good?" he asked distractedly. Fingers began to scrape lightly down his obliques.

"Sam, you look perfect."

Sam cleared his throat again when it started to tighten, and he was tugged forward gently by the hand on his side. He closed his eyes when he found himself leaning into the blond, his nose gently bumping Lucifer's cheek. "Thank you," he said roughly.

"Something wrong?" Lucifer asked in a whisper, and Sam clenched his eyes more tightly shut, not answering. "You can tell me anything, I only want to help."

"No, I'm good," Sam said, not wanting to tell him that he was upset simply over his choice in shirt color for him, because he _knew_ it was stupid, and he knew it didn't mean anything. So what if it had been Lucifer's favorite color on Sam, he _was_ Lucifer, it didn't mean he wasn't different. He was, in a lot of ways. For one, he didn't seem to want to inhabit his body anymore. He also didn't seem bent on destroying all humankind. He still didn't appear to care for them too much, and he did seem to get upset over them. Like whenever he was around them, or he found out some way they were hurting other animals. But to be fair, that really upset Sam too, and he had never wanted the apocalypse to be a success.

"Sam?"

Sam snapped back, and he cleared his mind as he looked into bright blue eyes up close. "Sorry, I'm just tired, maybe if you could heal me before we go?"

A strong arm wrapped around his lower back, then two fingertips touched gently to the center of his forehead. Light filled his body, stretching out lazily, wrapping around every muscle and his mind in a warm soft caress, and then the boat was empty.

"Well, if you two aren't just the _cutest_ thing."

Sam blinked, his vision slowly adjusting to the dim lighting. He felt Lucifer's arm around his waist carefully slip away as he found his balance. He shivered slightly, the air much colder than he'd become accustomed to the last couple days, as he stood in just shorts and a t-shirt.

"Hello, Gabe," Lucifer said in a surprisingly polite voice, studying the abandoned warehouse surrounding them. There were boards nailed over the windows, the floors were dirty concrete. A screeching of tires and a police siren sounded far away. "Your house is impeccable."

Gabriel broke into a slow grin. The sandy blond wore a pair of jeans and a zipped-up leather jacket. "Yes, well... I do have to think about Kali's safety. You two have never exactly seen eye-to-eye."

Sam frowned, trying to figure out where the faint light around them was coming from when it should be pitch black. He searched for a hidden light bulb or an open window—

"It's Lucifer."

Sam looked over in surprise, acknowledging Gabriel for the first time. "What?"

"Hello, Sam." Gabriel motioned vaguely at the space around them then. "The light, or should I say, the _feeling_ of light. He tends to brighten the darkest places, being the 'Morningstar' and all. Isn't that right, big brother?"

Sam looked over to Lucifer in surprise. He appeared calm, except for a slight tension around the corners of his mouth. Sam held back another shiver, and he pumped his hands into fists a few times, trying to push blood into them. Then he felt a sudden warm breeze in the closed off building, like the heat from a fireplace, and he relaxed some.

"We talk somewhere more comfortable for Sam, or we don't talk at all," Lucifer said quietly. "And those two waiting outside, if you let them in or even _try_ to piggyback them with us, any good will I may have towards you will be no more. You understand, don't you Gabe?"

"Luci..." Gabe grinned sheepishly, but when Lucifer only crossed his arms he raised his hands in a placating gesture. "Say no more, you pick where we go, no unwanted guests, you have my word."

Sam realized what they were talking about a second too late, and when he opened his eyes from a blink, they were standing outside on a black sand beach far away from the dingy warehouse. There were drums close by and cheers, and the smell of roasted meat and grilled fruit filled his senses, shocking them. He didn't know if he was angry or the exact opposite Lucifer had kept them away—Dean and Cas had been just outside the warehouse. He felt a twinge of unwanted wistfulness.

"Hawaii?" Gabe asked with a grin as he stood in a floral button up and khaki shorts, a yellow lei around his neck. "This _is_ better than a dilapidated warehouse. Can we go to the Luau, Luce? Pretty please?"

"It's up to Sam," was Lucifer's quiet response.

Sam felt Gabe's shocked gaze pinned on him. He cleared his throat, and he nodded, feeling self conscious. He looked back at crashing waves, white foam curling sluggishly up the contrasting sand, the moon was high, the stars bright in the clear night sky. "Yeah. Luau sounds fun," he said finally, trying to hide the ambivalent emotions distracting him.

* * *

 

Sam sat cross-legged on a blue floral blanket, Lucifer beside him. Gabriel was seated on Lucifer's other side, and a low table before them was adorned with all kinds of food. Fire roasted meat, veggies, giant slices of grilled pineapples, and a dish called haupia, that was a coconut pudding. There was music and dancers, and Sam had just started sipping on another Mai Tai. Relieved. He'd decided he was relieved he hadn't talked with Dean again yet, mainly, because he didn't think there would've been much talking in what had clearly been a set-up. He was surprised Lucifer didn't seem more upset by it, his own brother working against him, trying to trick him. They were here now, hanging out like it'd never even happened.

"Wow, Kali needs to learn to dance like that... maybe I could talk one of them into coming back with me."

Sam heard Lucifer laugh, the blond's knee brushing his as he shifted some closer. Then lips were close to his ear. "Are you enjoying yourself, Samuel?"

Sam grinned some, lowering his glass, the blond's smooth low voice sending chills down his spine. "Yeah, are you?"

"I always enjoy our time together," Lucifer murmured, nuzzling into his neck.

"Hey, Sam, if I order jello shots will you do them with me?"

"Uh..." Sam frowned, Lucifer leaning back some so he could see a grinning Gabriel. "Why do you want those, if you can't get drunk?"

Gabriel popped a piece of pineapple in his mouth, his eyebrows wiggling as he chewed. "I can fiddle with that. Lucifer and I used to do it all the time back in the day. What d'you say?"

Sam thought for a moment. "Okay, if you tell me what my brother was doing outside the warehouse tonight."

"After we've finished them," Gabriel offered gamely in return, completely unabashed, "and Lucifer joins in with the fun too."

Sam felt Lucifer's hand settle on his thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze. "If he wants to," he said back.

Gabriel laughed giddily, and he waved a waiter over.

Sam felt the hand on his leg slide up higher. He met bright blue eyes. "He might be trying to trick us."

Lucifer leaned over and pressed his lips to his jaw just by his ear. "If he is, he'll regret it," he whispered softly. "Just relax and enjoy yourself, I won't let anything bad happen."

Sam nodded, and then their plates were being pushed aside for a long, square silver tray covered in small pyramid-shaped jello shots, blue on top, fading down into a soft green. "I can't believe they make these here..."

"Well, being an angel has its benefits," Gabriel said slyly as he reached forward and picked one up. He looked over to Sam and Lucifer expectantly.

Sam sighed, and he leaned over, carefully lifting one of the shots from the cold tray, and then he watched in surprise as Lucifer did too.

Gabriel's smile grew wider than Sam had ever seen. He raised the wobbling pyramid out. "To new beginnings."

Sam repeated the sentiment gruffly, and then he placed the entire shot in his mouth and swallowed.

* * *

"No. No I _swear_ ," Gabriel said, his words barely intelligible around his laughter, "you should've seen it. Lucifer and I always beat Michael and Raphael at whatever competition we came up with to entertain ourselves, but whenever we'd have lightning battles... Wasn't even _close_."

Sam grinned. He sat leaned back, with his hands behind him planted in cool sand. Lucifer's left leg was hooked over his outstretched right comfortably, the music was still playing but something softer and a lot of the guests had wandered down to the ocean where the performers had started a bonfire. "You guys used to have _lightning_ battles?"

Lucifer gave a shrug, and Gabriel wrapped an arm around his shoulders excitedly, the former not seeming to mind. "Yeah we _did_ , Luce's aim was brutal."

Sam smiled at that, trying to picture the archangels acting like he and Dean had growing up, but with elements instead of darts or balls. He took a sip of his new drink, his blood buzzing warmly with alcohol. "So you two were really close before?" he asked the younger archangel.

Gabriel removed his arm from Lucifer, and he leaned forward to eat another jello shot. He'd just refilled the tray himself when it'd emptied fifteen minutes earlier, his sobriety slipping away more with each little blue pyramid just as promised. Gabriel had gotten louder and more willing to talk whereas Lucifer had only grown more quiet. "Yeah, a long time ago," he finally said, seeming somber, "before everything happened."

"He means before I was sentenced to an eternity in hell," Lucifer said, his voice level, but the air around them seemed to cool a few degrees.

Gabriel nodded slightly as he ate another. "Sorry Luce."

"It's okay, because I don't remember any of it."

The two angels sat in silence, then one of them snorted, and the other let out an amused breath until they were both laughing much to Sam's relief.

Sam felt Lucifer lean into him, his lips grazing errantly along his neck. Then the blond breathed in deeply, humming his exhale, warm breath on his collarbone, his chest rumbling low against Sam's arm. "You smell nice, Sam..."

Sam breathed a laugh, his pulse spiking as fingers began to trace a teasing line down his back. "Thanks, ah, so do you," he whispered back, receiving a grin and a warm, soft laugh in response.

"So tell me, Sam-o, how did you get Luce here so smitten?"

Sam met the archangel's glazed gaze, annoyed by his taunting tone, and now that he thought about it some more, his obvious attempt to turn him over to his brother and Cas like he didn't have _any_ say over his own life. "Why don't you tell me about my brother instead?" he said, unamused. "Why was he there?"

Gabriel let his chin dip back as he swallowed another shot. He kept his gaze pointed up and sighed loudly. "Sam, everyone expects something from me, would you believe it if I told you I have trouble telling people no?"

"No." Sam glared darkly at the archangel as he remembered begging for him to bring Dean back to life. "I _wouldn't_."

Gabriel groaned, wiggling his feet in the sand petulantly. "All right, I'm swayed easily by others. _Happy_? I lack my own convictions, and I can't ever be trusted because of it. We all have our shortcomings, right?"

"That's a big one," Sam said back flatly. Lucifer hummed a laugh against his shoulder, nodding in agreement. "So what'd he want?"

"He wanted to _save_ you, of course," Gabriel said with an exasperated eye roll. "What else do you Winchesters ever want?" He swallowed back another jello shot, and Sam watched with arched brows. He mimicked Dean's voice then. "He kept saying 'Sammy needs us, he's being manipulated by the _devil_ '." He laughed at that. "He got pretty upset when I offered my opinion on that _particular_ type of manipulation."

Sam thought for a moment, his thoughts hardening. "How was he going to do it?"

"Ah..." Gabriel blinked a few times. "You're pretty cutthroat. You really want to know his plans?"

Sam flexed his jaw, and he felt Lucifer against him, relaxed, seeming to enjoy just listening to the conversation. He pushed down any guilt he felt towards pitting himself against Dean... because that _was_ what he was doing here. He wasn't going to pretend it was something different. "If he insists on trying to capture me and kill Lucifer, then yes."

Gabriel studied the two of them for a second. Then he nodded, just barely. "I'll tell you what. If you're _actually_ choosing a side in this mess, Sam Winchester, I'll help you. Are you...?"

Sam felt Lucifer's lips press to the side of his neck, and he raised his chin in a half nod. "Yeah," he said roughly, "I am."


	13. Chapter 13

"Here, pink looks best on you."

Sam watched, blinking slowly as Gabriel sloppily placed a light pink lei over Lucifer's head. Something rung familiar in his alcohol-jumbled thoughts, but he couldn't place it. He leaned more heavily against Lucifer, the blond's arm around his waist, keeping him upright. He and the two archangels were standing on the black shore.

"Thanks, Gabe," Lucifer said dryly, turning his head some so the flower caught on the bridge of his nose would fall, the ornamental necklace settled over his chest.

Cool water washed over the tops of Sam's feet, pulling sand out from beneath his toes. He felt fingers on his side give a firm squeeze, tickling. He laughed at the feeling, and then gasped a second later when teeth nipped at his throat sharply, stinging. "Too rough," he said, his low voice raspy.

"Sorry..." The apology was breathed against the irritated skin, and lips pressed to it then gently, arms lacing around his lower back in what felt like a hug. "Forgive me, Sam."

Sam nodded, water rushing softly around the backs of his legs, and he felt himself lean more against the sturdy blond. He sank into the comforting feeling, all worries conscious or not seeming to melt away. Lucifer's nearness made him feel relaxed, safe. He'd drank too much again. "S'okay," he mumbled, enjoying hands running up inside his shirt, feeling cool against his hot back. He hummed quietly at the sensation. Then lips nipped carefully at the corner of his mouth, asking, if in a pushy way, and he lowered his chin to meet them straight on. Lucifer's tongue pushed inside his mouth immediately.

"Wow... you two are, uh, _wow_..."

Sam felt Lucifer's right arm leave him, and he saw him flip off Gabriel in the corner of his vision. He began to laugh against his lips, and he felt Lucifer smile.

"Go away now, Gabriel," Lucifer said, holding Sam just as close as waves rushed around them again but stronger. "We'll talk soon."

Gabriel glanced between them, an odd expression alighting his features, and Sam thought he almost saw guilt in furrowed brows before they smoothed. "Sure, Luce. I'll let you guys know when Dean and Castiel contact me again, and I'll look into some things upstairs, test the waters..."

Lucifer nodded, his right thumb idly caressing the skin just above Sam's shorts. "Thanks, Gabe. Don't do anything stupid."

Gabriel gave a wide smile. "If I didn't know any better I'd think you were worried about me."

"Of course I am, we're brothers," Lucifer said back quietly.

Gabriel blinked. Once.

Sam glanced at Lucifer to see him studying the younger archangel evenly.

"Right," Gabriel said, his voice unsteady, and he shot out an exhale. "My apologies, Luce. I better go before Kali starts looking for me." Then he smiled again, once more appearing unaffected, as he wiggled his brows. "She has quite the explosive personality."

Lucifer rolled his eyes, and Sam said nothing. "Go."

The archangel was gone.

"You can't trust him," Sam blurted.

Blue eyes opened more just the slightest bit, then the arms around Sam tightened. Lucifer seemed to think for a moment as he studied the way their chests pressed against each other, molded. "I don't have many options right now unfortunately." He paused, and another wave crashed against Sam's legs more violently. "I'm strong, but I am not strong enough to take them all on... not in this body at least."

Sam stiffened, horror pouring into his veins like buckets of ice to the face. He felt lips press to his chin.

"Sam, calm down, I didn't mean anything by that," was whispered. Sam felt his heart begin to skip a weird beat, and his lungs felt like they were going to collapse, his lips tingled, too numb to feel Lucifer's mouth against them. "I wouldn't take you even if you _offered_."

Sam paused, his mind grinding to a sudden halt, and he clenched his eyes shut feeling dizzy as relief poured over him in a sickening rush. "You wouldn't?" he forced out gruffly. He believed him, and he was a fucking fool for it; he _knew_ that, but he believed him anyway. "Why not?"

Lucifer sighed, the sound tired to Sam's ears, hurt maybe a little even... He really was too drunk. Lips grazed feather light along Sam's jawline as the night wind began to pick up, ruffling through his hair, and the tall hunter swallowed around an odd protesting hiccup in his throat. "I told you." The fallen archangel spoke quietly. "I don't want that. I'm not perfect, but I wouldn't lie to you, Sam. Not _ever_."

Sam flexed his jaw, nodding tightly. "Let's go back now, to the island," he said, "I don't feel that good."

"Okay."

Sam was prepared for the change of scenery, and he wasn't sure if it was because of that, or because it wasn't that extreme of a change really, or if he was just too drunk to notice, but he felt okay. He cleared his throat and carefully lowered himself onto softer, white sand and stared out at the ocean.

"Do you want healed?" was asked quietly, Lucifer settling down in the sand beside the brunet.

Sam shook his head, and he felt suddenly terrible for some reason. "No, I think I want to stay drunk tonight." He hiccuped.

They sat silent after that. The ocean crashed far back on the reef, the water just at their toes calm. The moon and stars reflected off its mirror surface, their images having a translucent quality in the clear waters.

"Gabriel had a hand in my memory loss."

Sam rubbed at his face roughly, and an unhappy laugh escaped his lips. "Yeah, I think so."

"I'm glad I have you, Sam."

Sam lowered his hand in surprise, and he looked at the blond beside him, blinking to clear his vision. He was staring up at the sky.

"I don't remember being locked up, but I know I must have been very lonely." His chest shook, and blue eyes narrowed. "I can still feel it... the _emptiness_."

Sam swallowed around a lump, not sure what to say, his chest twisted painfully on Lucifer's behalf.

"And you left me down there, after you sealed me back in." Cold blue eyes turned to meet wide green. "Why would you do that?"

Sam shook his head, feeling torn, because he knew _exactly_ why. He started to just apologize, to lie, but then he forced himself to say, "Because you weren't safe, I had no other choice."

Lucifer nodded, and his gaze slipped down to the sand. "And if I become _unsafe_ again, Sam... what then?"

Sam felt his throat tighten, and his eyes stung. "Then I'd try to do it again."

Lucifer said nothing to that. He leaned back onto his hands and crossed outstretched legs as he looked out onto calm waters.

Sam blinked a few times, and he felt worse, but not physically. He rested his face into open palms, and worked to breathe slowly. Maybe he should let Lucifer heal him, but then, everything would just be that more clear.

"Why do you like dogs so much?"

"Ahhah, what?" Sam struggled to focus.

"Dogs, Dean thought you were unduly obsessed over them."

Sam frowned some. " _Unduly_ obsessed?"

"There are some warranted obsessions," Lucifer replied with the hint of a smile. "So what's the deal with you and the canine species?"

Sam thought about the question, and he relaxed the slightest bit in his distraction. "Well, I guess if Dean thought I was intense about them it was because I always wanted one, like a normal kid, living a _normal_ life," he said, growing defensive, "which I didn't have. I wasn't obsessed with them though. Dean thinks if you want anything but to hunt, eat pie, and stay with family only forever you've got a serious problem."

"Hm. And what about his rebel angel boyfriend? How's he fit in that?"

"Who, Cas?" Sam shrugged. "Dean doesn't follow his own rules, just makes you feel like crap if you don't."

"Sounds familiar..."

Sam fought a weak smile.

Lucifer shifted closer, and he raised his left hand to Sam's forehead, hovering two fingers. "Just a little?"

Sam huffed a breath. "Does it bother you?"

"Some," Lucifer said, and then, "I don't like how it makes you so sad."

Sam flexed his jaw over and over. "It doesn't make me sad, I just am sad." He cleared his throat to make his voice less gruff. "I'm always sad."

"Sam..." Lucifer grasped the back of his neck and tugged him closer to him until his forehead was touching to his. "I'm _sorry_."

Sam hesitated for a second, conflicting thoughts swimming behind his eyes, and... and he really did feel awful. "Okay, you can heal me," he said, hoarse. He didn't feel the usual fingertips though like he expected. A slow warming started where they touched, and it spread out over him like a warm breeze on a summer day, stretching out all the way to his fingers and toes, wrapping him in a feeling of complete tranquility, and then a brilliant light flashed behind his eyes; and he sucked in a shallow breath.

"Better?"

Sam nodded faintly. "Yeah, actually, yeah, thanks," he said, then he raised his chin to meet the blond's mouth with his own. His lips parted at the flick of Lucifer's tongue, and he met the deepening kiss heatedly.

He felt a hand slide from his collarbone up to his neck, grasping, and his breath sped up as he was pressed back and down onto cool sand. He found himself looking up into bright blue eyes up close.

"Promise me something, Sam," Lucifer said, quietly, and he waited for Sam to give a vague nod before continuing, "if I ever start to do something that would make you not want me anymore, _tell_ me. Because I think I can live with a lot, but I don't want to without you."

Sam closed his eyes, his heart dancing anxiously behind his ribs at the words. Lucifer leaned back down, nuzzling into his neck just beneath his chin. "I never said I was planning on staying with you."

Lucifer laughed silently against his neck, before murmuring softly in response, "You didn't need to, I can _feel_ it."

Sam struggled, the explanation putting him more on edge. "Yeah? And... and what's it feel like?"

"Oh, _Sam_..."—Sam gritted his teeth at the mocking tone, knowing what was coming but dreading it still—"I think you _know_ what it feels like. I'm touched, _really_."

The tall hunter said nothing as Lucifer threw a leg over him to straddle him, but when he met his smiling gaze he couldn't help but blurt, "Why would you be touched?"

Lucifer paused at that, tilting his head and resting the tip of his tongue on his lower lip as he seemed to think. "Everyone wants to be... needed"—his words careful—"it's how we're made."

"But, you don't..."

"Don't what?"

Sam growled in frustration. "You don't _feel_ the same!"

Blond brows lifted, and Sam looked away, wishing he could take back what he'd said, well, shouted. Shit.

Lucifer blinked. When he spoke, his words were slow but even, "I never said that."

Sam's head jerked back, and he blinked rapidly. " _What_?"

Lucifer smiled then, and he lowered his upper body down, bumping his nose gently against the side of Sam's, and the brunet's breath hitched roughly inside his chest as he grabbed a handful of his shirt, holding him close. "Kiss me, Sam," was whispered softly.


	14. Chapter 14

Sam stood in crystal clear water up to his waist. Sea water dripping down his face, he bit down on his lower lip as he watched Lucifer floating on his back atop their white raft. The sun was just breaking the horizon, the sky above once a dark blue slowly lightening. He took a step forward, a school of small fish nearby darting away at the sudden movement.

"Don't even think about it."

Sam froze, and he hesitated.

"I mean it, _Samuel_. You'll regret it."

Sam drew in a silent, fortifying breath, and in one swift motion flipped the raft over. He started to laugh as Lucifer floundered beneath the surface a couple seconds only to burst back up, the raft getting shoved away in the mayhem.

"Why you little..." Lucifer growled as he stood up, his dark blond hair plastered to his head and his once dry torso soaked.

Sam laughed harder, and he took a step back, then another as Lucifer began to stalk towards him. "You pushed me in first!" he said, laughing the words.

"Yeah, but I'm allowed to, you're not," Lucifer said with raised brows, even as he broke into a grin too. Then he grabbed Sam's hand when he took a misstep back, almost falling into the water again. He pulled him forward instead, his chest bumping up against his. The blond hummed quietly as their lower bodies grazed under the cool water's surface. "Now, _how_ to punish you..." His grin widened as Sam snickered in response. "You're so belligerent," he chastised.

"Maybe if you hadn't pushed me off the raft," Sam reasoned with a shrug, trying for indifferent and succeeding, "I was almost asleep. This is what you get when I'm sleep deprived."

"Mhmhm." Lucifer hummed a quiet laugh. "I couldn't help myself, you should've seen how peaceful you looked."

Sam ran a hand through soaked hair, pushing it off his forehead. He laughed again, the sound throaty as his body responded to Lucifer's voice and closeness predictably. He swallowed, his mouth dry as he looked into piercing blue eyes. "So what's the plan for today?"

Lucifer tipped his head side to side slightly, his tongue pressing into his cheek, as he appeared to weigh their options. "I was thinking just a lot of sex."

Sam smiled, a huff of a laugh escaping his lungs, and his shorts grew uncomfortably tight as his lower body agreed wholeheartedly with the idea. He tried to distract himself. "So, uh, what are your long-term plans?" Blue eyes grew more intense, and Sam lifted dark brows solicitously. "I mean, since you're not planning to destroy all humans..." He paused, a little nervous at addressing the issue so bluntly, even if it'd meant to be a joke initially. He actually did want to know, so he pushed on, albeit more carefully. "I just mean, is there anything you wanted to, uh, do specifically? Like a job?"

Lucifer studied him, unblinking, and then he said flatly, "No, I wasn't thinking of getting a job."

Sam nodded, and cleared his throat. "Oh, well...—why not?"

The blond remained unresponsive long enough for Sam to start to pull away, but then Lucifer cracked a grin. "And what kind of job do you think would suit me?" He grasped Sam's biceps when he only kept pulling away, holding him in place. "I'm serious, I want to know."

Sam exhaled through pursed lips, and then gave a closed mouth smile, the expression tight. "Maybe a lawyer? A conservationist? I don't know."

Lucifer turned his gaze up to the sky and exhaled through his nostrils. "That'd be quite the step down from third in command."

"But a huge step up from eternity in hell," Sam responded without thinking it through. The hands on his arms grew suddenly stiff, and he grimaced. "Luce, I..."

Lucifer looked down, and he released Sam from his grip, the simple action seeming difficult for the blond. He took a step away from the brunet, then another, his hands shaking ever so slightly by his sides.

Sam frowned. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to—"

"I need some time alone, Sam," Lucifer said quietly, "I'll be back by dinnertime, your phone is working if you need it, and there's food back at our place." Then the fallen archangel was gone.

Sam sighed, rubbing at his face as he began to trudge out of the water. He leaned over to grab up his sandals when he reached the shore and began the short trek back to their place alone. He didn't feel exactly guilty for asking Lucifer his plans, but he didn't feel great about it either. It wasn't like he even _had_ to do anything, he was an archangel after all, Gabriel didn't do anything productive as far as Sam knew. He didn't count his vigilante style killings.

Sam felt grass under his feet as he reached the shade of tall coconut trees, and he stopped to step into his shoes. Then he heard it. A quiet shifting of feet, a small laugh. He clenched his eyes tightly shut. There was an icy breath on the nape of his damp neck.

"Morning bunk buddy."

Sam exhaled sharply. His eyes shot open, and he began to walk towards the house at top speed.

"Oh, come _on_ , Sam, you _can't_ run away from me, why even try?"

Sam jogged up the few steps onto the porch, his heart trying to jump into his throat, then he stepped into the round house. His left hand massaging his right hard, trying to find a sensitive spot, he crossed the room.

"Oh, I see what you're thinking, yeah, this is _much_ more comfy. Come join me?"

Sam refused to look over to the bed where the smiling voice was coming from. He pulled open the wardrobe and searched his short pockets, finally finding what he'd been looking for.

"Hey now. Let's think about this."

Sam held up a knife in his right hand, and he held out his left arm, his jaw clenching in determination. He'd just give himself a new injury, it would work.

"It won't, work, that is. Sorry Sam, but I'm—"

Sam growled in pain as he ran the sharp blade along his forearm, cutting, dark crimson gushing to the surface. " _Ah_ ," he gasped and dropped the knife haphazardly to the floor. It clattered dangerously close to his feet as he watched blood run down his wrist and hand in a rising panic.

"Maybe if you push on it..." was whispered curiously over his shoulder.

Sam whimpered, and he closed his eyes as he did just that, holding back a cry of pain.

"Nope... ah, sorry there kiddo, I actually feel a little bad it didn't work for you. Kudos for the idea though." Sam said nothing, his mind spinning. "Maybe if you tried your throat..."

" _Why_?" Sam said, his voice broken. "Why are you still _bothering_ me? You're not in the cage anymore, why do you even want me dead?"

"Hmm, good question..." Sam didn't flinch when phantom arms wrapped around his waist, what felt like a chin settling on his shoulder. He held in a scream. "What would you prefer I do instead... woo you?"

Sam felt anger rush in his chest.

"You should bandage that, that was a pretty deep cut."

Sam refused to respond.

"Sam... _Sammy_.... Can't we just be friends? You've been letting that fake version of me fuck you senseless. When am I going to get some action, hm?"

Sam felt panic set in. He pulled away from the hallucination, feeling fingertips scrape over his stomach in a lazy protest as he did, and he shuddered at the sensation. "No. No _never_." He found himself actually looking at the hallucination, and it was even more unnerving, because he was wearing jeans and an old green shirt, but he _looked_ like Lucifer, and was he acting more like him too, or was he imagining things? Of course he was imagining things, because it was _all_ happening inside his head, it wasn't real, not any of it—

"Of course this is happening inside your head, Sammy, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real..."

Sam growled and closed his eyes at the teasing words, his arm aching, and he felt lightheaded. It would pass. It would _pass_. Shit. He'd just quoted Harry fucking Potter—A strangled laugh vibrated inside his chest. Why? "Just. Just leave me _alone_ ," he pleaded.

Sam laughed in disbelief when he received no response, and he stood up, just realizing he'd dropped down onto the bed. He ignored the hallucination as he walked back over to his and Lucifer's shared wardrobe, and he fumbled in his bag with his non-bleeding arm. His hand closed around a small leather bag, and he took it over to the kitchen counter, clutching it tightly and dripping blood on wooden floors as he did.

He unzipped it with one hand, and turned on the sink, lowering his covered arm under warm running water. He hissed in a sharp breath as he watched water mix with his blood, making the runoff a bright red. He saw a white hand towel on the counter he hadn't noticed before, and he grabbed it, shutting off the water with his elbow as he wrapped it firmly around his arm.

He held it for a few minutes, working to calm down with the unpleasant presence by his side. The hallucination was being oddly compliant, just silently watching Sam as he worked to bandage his self-inflicted wound.

He took off the stained towel to place a few butterfly bandages along his cut, wincing when he realized he _had_ gone rather deep in his rush to get rid of the hallucination. He pulled out a roll of medical tape, and then focused on wrapping it around his arm he'd covered in gauze with only one hand. He sighed when his sunlight was blocked. "Could you not get so _close_?" He gritted out the words.

The hallucination leaned back, still silent.

Sam blinked a few times, and then he began to work again. A minute later he leaned over to bite the tape to tear it. Then he glanced down at his shoddy work, and he sighed again. "Why are you still here?"

"Because you want me here," was his response.

Sam gritted his back teeth together. "No. I. Don't. Now _leave_ ," he barked out the words as he began to walk back out of the house.

"I can't Sam," was shouted after him, "I'm not in control of the coming and going, never have been."

Sam ignored him, walking around the back of the house and into the jungle instead of towards the beach.

"What, no fun in the sun for us?"

Sam sped up, pushing branches out of his way as the path grew more dense. "No, I said go away." He heard the hallucination sigh, and he kept going.

"Can we at least visit the volcano?"

Sam stopped, and he closed his eyes when what felt like a body plowed straight into his back. He drew in a huge silent, calming breath that failed miserably in its job. "What volcano?" he asked quietly, struggling.

"The one two miles east of us, you can see it once we clear this forest." Sam said nothing, panic trying to seize him. "Hmm, I never noticed how good you smell..."

" _How do you know that_?" Sam refused to push the hallucination away when he sniffed audibly at his neck. "You're not _real_."

"You keep saying that," was whispered playfully into his ear. " _Boo_."

Sam jumped, and then regretted it immediately. "No, _no volcano_ ," he said sharply.

"Oh lighten up a little, Sam, we can go sightseeing together while your boyfriend is away, I'm sure he won't be too murderous over it."

Sam frowned, and he glanced over his shoulder to find a familiar impish grin directed at him, and he felt confused, really confused. "What are you, for real?" he asked, dark brows furrowing.

"You really want to know?" the hallucination asked, taking a slight step back and crossing his arms over his chest. He rolled his tongue along the bottom of his upper teeth, fidgeting and rocking his weight from foot to foot as he waited for an answer.

Sam threw his arms up in exasperation. "Yes, that's why I asked."

"I'm his memories."

Sam swallowed thickly, surprised by the matter-of-fact answer... but not really. "No, that can't be true, it doesn't make sense."

The hallucination grinned slowly. "Does it not?" Blond brows arched devilishly, and he nodded encouragingly. "Or does it make _complete sense? Hm?_ " Sam felt dread rise in his chest. "I know things you don't, I remember everything that's happened to me, _me_ , I _am_ Lucifer, Sam, whether you like it or not."

Sam stared at the ground, and he questioned what he wanted to ask. It wouldn't matter, if he said yes or no, he wasn't _actually_ Lucifer, but then why was he afraid to ask? He cleared his throat when it felt too tight. Fuck it. "So would you kill me if you could? With everything you know?"

"No."

Sam looked up, unsure.

"But I _would_ kill everyone else." The hallucination shrugged one shoulder, a sheepish expression tugging at the corners of his mouth and the edges of his eyes. "I'm not perfect."

Sam felt something twist inside his chest, and he turned away again, ignoring following footsteps. "We're not going to the volcano," he said brusquely, not sure where they were going as he stomped on.

"What about the hot springs then?"

Sam flexed his jaw. He was bluffing. There was no volcano or hot springs, and he wasn't Lucifer. He stopped as he reached a clearing, and he found the ground cut off sharply as he stood at the edge of a steep hill. He looked around, scanning the large island, and his eyes fell upon a volcano that appeared miles away. He froze, struggling to reconcile his thoughts.

"Lucky guess, I suppose," was said by his side. Sam ignored it. "So where to now, _Sammy_? There's beach on the other side, but we'd have to walk a few hours, and it's not as nice as the one Luci chose for you two. It's not very shallow, no pretty fish to watch."

The tall brunet exhaled slowly. Then he started carelessly down the side of the hill sideways. He only had to put up with him until dinner, then he'd disappear like before. He'd just ignore him.

"Careful, rock."

Sam stopped just in time, he'd almost missed a sharp rock sticking out of the side of the hill. He moved around it, careful not to scrape his leg on it, and he continued to shuffle down sideways but with more awareness, as he muttered a lackluster thanks in response.

It was midday by the time Sam reached the other side of the island. He was sweating, and thirsty, and his arm was throbbing along with his pounding pulse. He hadn't thought things through if he was being honest. He looked out at huge jagged rocks, the ocean darker and stronger than the beach Sam had frequented with Lucifer. Large white birds flew overhead, one every so often diving to pull a fish out of its crashing depths, and the volcano was visible still in the distance. It was chaotic and beautiful in a violent sort of way.

"Do you like it...?"

Sam flinched, the hallucination at his shoulder, peering over it. He sighed shakily. "Why, do you?"

"Mm, yeah, more than the other one. It's... more alive, don't you think?"

"No, I hate it," Sam lied, and then he walked out closer to the shore. He stopped in his tracks when he spotted a baby turtle pushing its way to the ocean. Leaning down, he watched as it struggled to make it the ten yards.

"You should help it, all his siblings got picked off today by the birds."

Sam glanced up at the sky, suspiciously eyeing a few of the white birds, and he leaned over the small turtle with his upper body. "How do you even know that if you're just a memory?"

"Good question, I don't know."

Sam found himself following along over the baby turtle despite not wanting to pay attention to the hallucination. "Why do you—I mean Lucifer like animals so much?"

"Are we playing nice again?"

Sam didn't look up, but he nodded slightly. "If you promise not to hurt me."

The hallucination sighed dramatically, and Sam pushed a piece of drift wood out of the baby turtle's path.

"Fine. A truce until nightfall, only because I'm tired of being ignored."

Sam nodded, relief trying to flood his senses, but he held it back, because he didn't trust the hallucination.

"I've always liked animals, I remember when the first one was formed from a mass of cells. They admittedly grew more impressive over the years." A smile was apparent in his voice. "They're peaceful to watch, and they do what they want, they're instinctual. I've always craved the type of autonomy they inherently own."

Sam nodded in surprise at the genuine answer, then he smiled when the first trickle of water reached the turtle's front flippers, and it struggled some in the wet sand; then a larger rush of water slid up underneath it, and pulled him forward. The brunet stood slowly as the next receding wave drew it even deeper, and then it was gone from view.

"Too bad a fish is going to eat it."

Sam whipped his head around to find the hallucination laughing. He scowled.

"It's called a _joke_ , always so serious, Samuel." The blond winked at him.

Sam's scowl deepened. "No, you're just a _huge_ psychopathic asshole."

" _Oh_ , you hurt my _feelings_." The hallucination fanned at his eyes, his lower lip wobbling. "How will I _ever_ go on if Sam Winchester doesn't like me?"

Sam growled, because he was admittedly struggling to separate the two Lucifers completely, and he was getting more confused by the second. "Why are you even here right now? Why can't you just leave me in peace?"

The blond stopped his fake crying at that, and his blue eyes grew cold. "I _told_ you why, you _wanted me here_." He held out his arms with a sneer. "So _here I am_. At your beck and call."

Sam blinked at that, and he started to respond but stopped short. "Wait." He rubbed at the back of his neck, realization hitting him like a brick wall. "You're serious. You have to show up whenever my mind wants you around."

"Ding-ding-ding, you win the prize," the hallucination said with a roll of his eyes, and Sam felt a twinge of discomfort at the familiar action.

"But I don't want you here," he said, his mood lifting. "So—go away." He waited hopefully.

"No. You do. Not as much as you used to though." The hallucination sat down on a large black rock. He crossed his arms over his chest and his left ankle over his right casually, long legs stretched out. "The other one doesn't like me, but the feeling's mutual."

Sam blinked a few times, and the fuck if he wasn't confused as hell. "I _never_ wanted you around, ever," he said slowly, trying to convince him so he would just disappear.

"Now that's not true, we've had some good times," the hallucination said pettily, "just because I lost my temper a few times—"

"A _few times_?" Sam shouted, laughing harshly, "Lost your temper? You _tortured_ me!"

The hallucination cringed, his demeanor openly mocking. "Yeah, I did do that, didn't I...?"

Sam let out an enraged sound. "You're _crazy_!"

"Says the person talking to himself."

" _Ah_!" Sam glowered at the blond. "You just said you were _real_!"

Blond brows shrugged. "I am."

Sam stopped. He drew in jagged breaths as he shook his head. "I hate you. I hate you so much. I have _never_ wanted you around."

"If you think that's true, then explain why you are with my amnesiac half?" Sam worked to slow his breathing, his blood racing and his mind trying to keep up. "Some day soon, we will merge again, Luci and I. Then what?"

Sam shook his head harder. "Never. That will never happen."

"It will, it already is... how do you think he makes me go away? We have a connection already, Sam, and it just—keeps— _growing_. And when we merge, I think you can guess who'll be in charge."

Sam settled down on the sand, water just feet away, his back to the hallucination. He stared down between his legs, and he saw the tracks from what looked like another baby turtle. They'd just stopped, disappeared. He needed to call Dean.

He sat there, in complete silence, unmoving, the sun lowering, drawing closer and closer to the horizon as the hours ticked by. The sky grew red and orange, the air grew colder and stronger.

"Enjoying the sunset?"

Sam closed his eyes, panic trying to take hold of his frayed senses. Their truce had only been until nightfall. " _Fuck off_ ," he said hoarsely.

"Ah... something bothering you, Sam?"

Sam paused, his back straightening, and he turned slowly to find Lucifer standing in a pair of red swimming trunks and the black graphic t-shirt he'd bought for him. He hesitated saying anything.

The blond looked out at the choppy sea, his gaze searching. "I thought you'd like the other beach better, was I wrong?"

Sam pushed himself up, his legs feeling oddly weak, and he shook his head. "Oh, uh, no. No, I don't like it here at all."

Lucifer's lips quirked up on one side, bright blue eyes curious. "You okay there, Sam?"

Sam took the few steps to close the space between them, and he sighed when arms wrapped around him as their bodies touched. He leaned his face down into Lucifer's neck and felt a shudder of relief shake his very core. "Yeah, I'm just happy you're back," he mumbled against his shirt. He felt fingers trail gently along his back.

"Come on, let's go back to our beach, Sam."

Sam nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments would be obscenely appreciated. :)


	15. Chapter 15

The sound of waves was suddenly softer as they crashed against the distant reef, and the night air felt more calm, thanks to the island shouldering much of it. They stood in soft sand, Sam still resting his forehead on Lucifer's shoulder.

"What happened here?"

Sam felt his cut arm gently turned over, and fingertips traced lightly over his bandage. He stood upright and closed his eyes as it throbbed sorely on cue followed by a numb, achey tingling deep inside it. "Knife accident," he kinda lied, shifting his weight back on his heels.

"Accident...?" Lucifer's fingers fiddled with an edge that had started to curl up either from sweat or water, Sam wasn't sure. "Can I see?"

Sam swallowed, and he wanted to say no. "Yeah," he croaked. He braced himself for the discomfort of having the bandage pulled off, but instead he just felt cool air suddenly on the still raw cut.

"Sam..."

Sam exhaled slowly, an unwanted growing pressure in his chest as fingertips carefully traced along the edge of the wound that didn't look accidental at all. He should've just said no, he didn't want to talk about the hallucination at that moment or think about what all it had said. He forced out a laugh, ignoring how weak it sounded. "Yeah... I was trying to, uh—" He gave up.

"Let me heal it," Lucifer said after a few beats, not seeming to need an explanation, his gaze trained on the angry-looking cut, his expression tight with some quiet emotion.

Sam nodded in relief. "Yeah, okay." He watched closely as the angel held his right hand over the cut, hovering just centimeters, and then a bright whitish-blue light emanated from his palm. Sam felt his shoulders relax, and he let out a soft exhale.

Lucifer lifted his hand to reveal Sam's arm once more whole. He studied the few inches of skin, like he could still see it, his lips pressed together in a thin line, and a tension edged the corners of his eyes. "I'd like it... if you didn't do this again, Sam," he said quietly.

Sam nodded, then he closed his eyes as Lucifer began to trace the tip of his index exactly where the cut had been. He swallowed, his throat dry. "Where, ah, where did you go?" he asked distractedly.

Lucifer exhaled, the sound tired. "To the desert, to clear my mind."

Sam opened his eyes in surprise. "Which one?"

"The Namib."

Sam tried to picture Lucifer in the African desert. "How hot was it?" He looked at the blond when he received no response, and he found a small smile directed at him that lifted his spirits some.

"I don't believe we experience temperature in quite the same way," was the archangel's vague response.

Sam raised dark brows. "How do you experience it?"

The angel released his arm finally, but he moved his hands to Sam's sides, and his fingertips pressed gently into his back to encourage him closer. He wet his lips, upper then lower before responding, his tone making the conversation feel suddenly private. "Heat, the sun, it fills me and levels out my mood, it gives me peace."

Sam blinked a few times, and he felt a niggling in his chest. "And the cold?" he asked without thinking.

Lucifer looked down then, and his voice hardened. "It does the _opposite_."

The tall hunter remembered unwillingly the cage and how it'd been so cold it'd burned his very core, so much, he swore he could still feel it at times. His breathing grew more shallow, and soft blond hairs tickled his chin as Lucifer rested his forehead against his collarbone, his hands still grasping his sides.

"It was cold in the cage... wasn't it?"

Sam didn't answer, his heart pounding against his ribs.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you down there, Sam, it was never my intent," was whispered.

Sam suddenly wanted to push the blond away, not quite formed memories and feelings of pure agony crackling at the edges of his conscious. He wanted to run and never look back. He flexed his jaw and gritted his teeth as he struggled. "You remember it?" he asked tightly.

"No, but I'm starting to feel things better, when I try to."

Sam struggled even more. "Then _how_ do you know it wasn't your intent?" he demanded, slowly losing control. "How do you know it wasn't _exactly_ what you _wanted_?"

Lucifer's grip grew lighter on his sides, and he raised his gaze to meet Sam's, bright blue eyes almost looking like they were glowing in the dark. "Because I _feel_ the regret."

Sam let out a laugh, but it came out more like a choked sound. "Your hallucination doesn't seem to regret it."

Lucifer blinked, and his demeanor shifted without warning. "Was he here today?" he asked point blank, his gaze suddenly dark.

Sam nodded tightly. "Yeah, the whole day."

The blond turned his head, looking out at the beach for a long moment. "Why didn't you tell me?" His words deceptively soft.

Sam choked on a laugh. "Why? Why _would_ I?"

Then Lucifer's hands grasped Sam's face on either side without warning, surprising the hunter into silence. He held him still, his blue gaze unnerving in its intensity, an ominous feeling tingling in the air around them. "I am completely honest with you at all times, I expect the same. Do you understand?"

Sam hesitated, the request fair enough, but he wasn't feeling generous.

"Sam"—Lucifer softened his hold slightly, and his voice followed its lead, surpassing it even—"I need to know I can trust you, this is very important to me. Now. _Can I_?"

Sam looked down, and he nodded tightly.

"Good. Now tell me truthfully"—Lucifer paused, and Sam tensed in anticipation—"how much did you miss me today?"

Sam felt a shallow breath escape his lungs. Then he felt upturned lips graze along his jawline. "Barely at all," he said in a rough voice, but then a tired smile tugged at his mouth, and he let his body relax into the touch some. "A lot, so much evidently I spent the day with your evil twin."

"Hmmm." Lucifer's hum sounded almost displeased to the hunter. "And what did you two do?"

Sam rolled his eyes some even as he enjoyed playful nips at his ear. "Oh you know, just lots of sex." Teeth froze, Sam's earlobe between them. He laughed a little, pulling away from the odd sensation. "You're not jealous of it, are you?" he asked, laughing more when he saw the unhappy expression he'd caused.

"You're a cruel person, Sam Winchester," Lucifer said, grasping his side, and he tightened his hold when he made to pull away, "and that's coming from the _devil_."

Sam gasped out laughs, fingers pinching between his ribs, and he tried harder to get away, only succeeding in getting a strong arm hooked around his lower back. "Stop, stop—I'm _ticklish_."

Lucifer grinned, his hand relaxing until Sam began to breathe steadily if heavily, and he pulled him closer until his broad chest was heaving nicely against his. He palmed the back of Sam's neck, pulling him down the two inches separating them. "You shouldn't try to upset me," he said softly, his words puffing cool against the brunet's slightly parted lips.

Sam hummed. "Maybe you shouldn't have such a short temper," he shot back.

Lucifer rolled his tongue along the backs of his teeth, blue eyes dancing with unspoken amusement. "I blame myself for your bratty behavior, no one else."

Sam felt a laugh shake his chest, warmth filling it too, and he wanted to cover close lips with his. He'd missed the fallen archangel more than he'd realized. He thought for a moment before saying, "We argued mostly. I told him to go away, and he said he couldn't, that it was my choice not his." Sam swallowed, holding Lucifer's gaze. "That's how I got the cut on my arm, I was trying to make him go away, but it didn't work."

Lucifer pressed his lips to Sam's gently. "I'm sorry I left you like that," he whispered.

Sam leaned in to meet his lips again. "It's okay," he breathed. Then he felt a tongue flick against his lower lip, and he opened his mouth immediately. Then strong arms hugged his lower back tightly, pulling his lower body snug, and he was kissing the blond back heatedly, a needy feeling urging him on.

"I _missed_ you, Sam."

Sam nodded urgently. "I missed you too." He gasped as hands slid down the back of his shorts and held him close, Lucifer grinding up against him. Then teeth began to nip roughly at his throat, and he couldn't think clearly.

"Bed. _Now_."

Sam nodded jerkily in concession, and then he was horizontal on top of cool sheets. His shirt was pulled off as he sat up poorly, still disoriented, and then he dropped back down, his head spinning a little as he watched the archangel pull his black shirt up over his head exposing lean muscles that stretched and flexed nicely in the moonlight. Then he leaned down over him with a devilish grin, and Sam groaned a second later, cupping the back of the blond's head as firm lips worked diligently down his stomach, causing his hips to jerk each time and leaving behind a trail of heat; and then teeth grabbed the waist of his shorts and began to tug them down.

"Oh my... I think I'm starting to see the appeal here..."

Sam jumped, and his head twisted to the right at the unexpected words. " _Ah-h_." Blue eyes and a familiar smirk met his wide-eyed gaze through sheer white.

"Weird time to miss me, Samuel..."

"Sam?"

Sam blinked rapidly, looking down at the archangel and then back to where the hallucination had been. He was gone.

"Everything okay?"

Sam hesitated, glancing around the bed, making sure it was actually gone. "Yeah... I, uh, sorry, I thought I heard something."

The half-dressed blond leaned back onto his knees and searched the room, listening closely. "What'd you hear?"

Sam felt heat rush up the back of his neck. He rubbed at it roughly. "Actually, I think it was just my imagination. Sorry."

Lucifer looked around some more, his expression indiscernible, blond brows furrowed the slightest bit. Then he looked back down to Sam. He shot him a small smile as he began to crawl up his body, dipping down to catch his mouth with his. The back of his left hand caressed the brunet's cheek. "You just need to relax some..."

Sam nodded, his heart beating uncomfortably fast, and he met his lips again, pushing the disturbing moment far _far_ away. Lucifer shifted down closer and Sam groaned, leaning into the feel of his warm, pressing body. A hot tongue began to stroke sensitive skin at the junction where his jaw, neck and ear met. He hummed at the sensation.

" _Mmm_ , you taste like a fuckin' lollipop..."

Sam gasped as the archangel's mouth latched onto his throat, sucking gently at first and then harder. His hips bucked up, and he pressed his head back into the bed as he felt a groan rumbling in his chest echo in the one pressed up against him. "Luce... _please_."

"You want me, Sam?"

Sam nodded eagerly, wrapping long legs around familiar hips, and he pulled them down until they were rocking up against him, Lucifer's length sliding along his in a way that had his eyes rolling back. " _Fuck_."

"Mm, that's the plan."

Sam laughed, the sound low and breathy, and he began to push his own shorts down, Lucifer lifting one leg then the other to move out of his way, then he kicked them off his ankles. He looked up into hooded blue eyes, and he felt a small pang in his chest as he reached up to touch the blond's rough cheek. He forced the unwieldy words out as Lucifer kicked out of his own shorts, leaving nothing left in the way. "What I just heard, it was the hallucination, of you."

Lucifer tilted his head slightly as he eyed Sam. "Did you see him?"

Sam nodded, swallowing around a lump. "Yeah."

"What'd he want?"

Sam exhaled heavily and then laughed with what small amount was left in his lungs. "I think he just wanted to watch."

Lucifer broke into a sly grin. "Kinky."

Sam laughed some more, a hand caressing his thigh firmly, and he shook his head. "You're not mad at me?"

"Should I be?" the blond asked as his hand slipped between Sam's legs, and he fingered at his entrance, the tall brunet grunting and shifting his hips at the feeling. Then he pushed in his middle finger, and Sam bit back a groan. He began to pump it slowly, with care, his finger still dry. He watched closely as Sam arched his neck back, his muscular neck showing corded muscles off nicely when he curled his finger up towards the ceiling. "Sounds like you just can't get enough of me," he said quietly, "I'm flattered."

Sam felt another two dry fingers edge their way in, and he cursed. "Too _rough_ ," he gasped, and when they pumped in again they were slick.

"Sorry," was murmured against his chin. Lucifer curled his fingers up, his lips parted and dry, his tongue playing along his upper canines as he watched just inches away at Sam's reaction. "Sam, you're so _sexy_..."

Sam gasped as Lucifer began to pump harder inside him, his thumb sliding up and down grazing the underside of his balls, unblinking blue orbs watching him. "Shit. _Mmm_." He felt a dampness collecting on his stomach as he began to leak.

"D'you like that?" Fingers searched.

Sam groaned low and broken as Lucifer began to bump the bundle of nerves inside him with unnerving accuracy. He reached out blindly, scraping his hand down a flat stomach to find what he was looking for, and he wrapped his large palm around Lucifer.

" _Sam_." His name coming out sounding surprised but pleased.

Sam stroked him, his wrist loose, as he worked to get the blond as close as he was. The fingers inside him began to thrust in rhythm with him. Then fingers slid out without warning.

"Put me inside you," was said softly.

Sam exhaled unevenly as he guided the suddenly slick body part down, shifting his own hips up. He lined them up, waiting to meet Lucifer's gaze straight on. Then he nodded, and held him there as hips pushed forward, and Lucifer sunk deep inside him.

The blond's eyes slid shut, and his chin fell so that he hovered just over Sam's lips as he swore softly, enveloped in velvet and tight heat, the brunet's jagged hot breaths assaulting his senses in an unbearably good way. "Sam... you were made for me," he whispered, and he pulled hips back, canting them up, then rolled them forward, and Sam nodded wholeheartedly in agreement as he felt like his world shifted onto its side.

* * *

"There was a farmer who had a dog and Sammy was its name-o, S-A-M-M-Y—"

Sam put a large strawberry in his mouth and took a bite, sucking on the juice, trying to ignore the awful song, but mostly, just trying to ignore its source. The hallucination had decided to start hanging out more. It had been two days since it had stopped in in the middle of his and Lucifer's intimate moment, and now he couldn't seem to get rid of it. It had started appearing any second the archangel wasn't within Sam's immediate vicinity.

Sam had initially begun to follow Lucifer everywhere, inside, outside, in the shower just to avoid its appearance. But then... he'd started getting quiet curious looks from the archangel, and Sam had backed off so he didn't come across crazy. He could've just told him what was happening, and Lucifer probably would've just let him tag along like a love sick puppy as much as he wanted, but something made him hesitant to, and he didn't know what.

"Wow. Strawberries are _fascinating_..."

Sam chewed his bite, and swallowed, _ignoring_. He picked up another stubbornly. At least it didn't seem to want to torture him and keep him awake at all times anymore, that was what he needed to focus on—

"Oh yeah, eat it, Sam..."

Sam bit down hard, growling.

There was warm laughter, and Sam closed his eyes. "You could go away," he offered.

"No thanks."

Sam breathed out silently and opened his eyes again. He sat down at the table in defeat, wondering where Lucifer was. He'd woken up alone, breakfast waiting outside for him.

"I could join you if you're lonely."

"Stop it," Sam snapped.

"Stop what?"

Green eyes flicked up, blue looked back amused. "Reading — my — _mind_."

"I'm not," the hallucination said back, but then he broke into a toothy smile when Sam only stared blankly at him, his left eye pinching up. "Okay, maybe just a little."

Sam looked towards the beach, an unsure feeling rushing his chest. Lucifer had been more private lately, leaving without taking Sam with him. It wasn't for long periods, an hour here and there, sometimes while he was sleeping, nothing significant. He always said he was just talking to Gabriel, planning, and that they were meeting somewhere that Sam would unfortunately find very uncomfortable in their effort to stay low on the angel radar. He had offered though to take Sam somewhere else if he wanted so he wouldn't be stranded when he was gone. The brunet'd turned the offer down though, deciding to stay on the deserted island. He wasn't sure why. It was nice there, quiet, beautiful, relaxing, no stress for the most part. He was really selfish.

"Selfish doesn't have to be a bad thing."

Sam slowly turned his unhappy gaze up. The hallucination had joined him and was eating a strawberry, well, he was sucking on it anyway. "By definition it does."

The blond shrugged, lips curling up around the dark pink fruit between them.

Sam looked back down. "I just feel bad, I guess."

"Who for?"

Sam blinked a few times as he considered telling the figment of his imagination to fuck off. "Dean mostly," he said instead, "I know he's gotta be disappointed in me right now."

"Yeah... to put it mildly."

Sam leaned back as he crossed his arms over his chest, feeling worse and kinda angry too if he was being honest. He hadn't called his brother again, and that was mainly because he knew _nothing_ good would come of it. Dean wanted him to do something he wasn't willing to do: give up Lucifer. "It's my life though, and if I want to spend it here with Lucifer and you then that's my call."

"Absolutely."

Sam looked up, his gaze narrowed. Lucifer smiled at him sweetly. "What are you up to?"

"Me?" Blond brows lifted innocently. "I'm just trying to get in your pants."

Sam pressed his lips together, and his chest shook. "That's _not_ going to happen."

"Mm, we'll see," the hallucination said agreeably with a shrug.

Sam ran a hand through his hair to smooth it. He watched the hallucination pick up another strawberry. "Can you taste that?"

"No, I remember what they taste like though." The blond popped it into his mouth.

Sam watched him closely as he thought. "What else do you remember...?"

He received a slow grin for that question.

"Everything."

Sam snorted at that. "Helpful."

The blond shrugged one shoulder and ate another strawberry. "I'm one of the oldest entities in existence," he said around the food in his mouth, "what do you want to know?"

Sam straightened up at that. "Why do you still want the apocalypse?"

Lucifer rolled his eyes. "You're so predictable, Sam, you can ask me _anything_ and _that's_ what you want to know."

Sam thought about it. "You don't have a reason, do you?"

Blue eyes flicked up, and the hallucination said nothing.

The tall hunter picked up a strawberry, taking a bite as he thought, holding it to his lips and he sucked on it distractedly. He didn't notice the angelic attention he was gathering, and he pulled it away to finally say, "How would you even do it now? Isn't everything messed up with the horsemen and whatnot?"

"You're right, nix that plan."

Sam smiled somewhat. "You could, you know."

The hallucination stretched his hands over his head and gave a wide yawn. "Yeah, but then how would I exact my revenge?"

Sam frowned. "Don't maybe? Revenge just makes you a slave to other people in your quest for payback. You could forgive them instead."

"Mmm." Lucifer nodded seemingly in agreement. "And then you'd want me?"

Sam felt an unexpected jolt at the question. He looked down at his left hand where it rested on the wooden tabletop. He pushed his plate more directly in front of him. "And all the torture?" he managed to ask evenly.

"You could forgive me."

Sam swallowed, tumultuous emotions suddenly trying to surge forward, but he held them back, just barely. "Are you asking me to...?" He looked up.

The blond wasn't smiling like he'd expected. His expression looked a lot how Sam's felt.

"I am sorry for that, you know," Lucifer said, "I have no excuse, only my apologies to offer."

Sam shoved himself up instead of responding, and he turned and walked towards the beach, needing to move as his heart began to pump too aggressively. He knew the hallucination would follow, and if not, even better. He stopped when his toes reached the demarcation of wet sand as Lucifer's words from the other night rang in his head. _I_ feel _the regret_. He stared out at calm waters, focusing on little ripples made by an easy breeze. He let out a held breath finally, and his mind settled down just enough to think. "Why would you want my forgiveness?" he said without looking back.

"I'm pretty sure we've discussed this already..."

Sam rolled his eyes up to the sky. "So, _sex_? That's it? You're not even real."

"That hurts my feelings, and, no, because I _like_ you, Sam, plain and simple. I always have... ever since we first met." The words were said so simply Sam couldn't help but turn around.

"What?" He blinked, remembering their first interaction. Heat rushed up the back of his neck, and the hallucination fought an answering grin. "You—are you serious? Or do you mean in some creepy way, like wanting to possess me and then locking me up in some little mental room with food and water so you could fuck me whenever you wanted some fun?"

Lucifer covered his mouth, but Sam heard the smothered laughter, and he glared darkly, his shoulders tensing. "Wow, that's really dark," the blond said, and he sniffed, nodding his head in approval.

"I'm being serious," Sam growled.

The hallucination scratched at the inside corner of his left eye a few times with his thumbnail, and then he sighed heavily. "Sam, I mean in a normal boy likes boy way." His lips flitted up, and then he added, "Well, Satan likes boy way."

Sam had nothing to say to that. Then he felt knuckles graze his left bicep in a whisper light touch, the hallucination having shifted closer to him, and he clenched his jaw, refusing to move away and ignoring the conflicting feelings rushing through him. It wasn't real, none of it—

"Why do you think my lesser half is so interested in you...?" Blond brows raised some, and the hand lifted as the hallucination said softly, "I thought about you a lot, Sam, and he feels it. He doesn't want you. _I do_."

Sam felt his head shaking. He took a step back, then another, water sneaking up around his ankles. "No, no that's _not_ true." The blond said nothing, but it only made Sam more adamant. "It's _not_ , he's not like you, he's _different_. Go away now, I want you to _leave_."

When Sam blinked he found himself completely alone, and if he felt the smallest twinge of sadness because of it he'd never admit it.


	16. Chapter 16

Fingers dipped lazily down his lower stomach, cool touch to his still heated skin. Lips rested quietly overtop the sluggish pulse beneath his chin, and Lucifer's front was wedged up snugly to Sam's side.

"That was nice," Sam said, his voice gruff. He cleared his throat, looking at the white netting wrapped around the bed they shared, and dark brows began to tug down and in as he couldn't help but remember a certain hallucination's unwanted appearance a few days before.

" _MmHmm_ "—lips pressed into his throat curled upward slowly—"very nice..."

Sam felt a grin tug at his chest, lightening it, and a small breath escaped his lungs. He listened to the sound of bugs busy outside, and a cool night breeze blew into the nearby window, skating over his damp skin. Lucifer shifted impossibly closer, his hand wrapping around to settle on his back just under his ribcage. He smiled more. "Cuddling, huh?"

"Shut up, Samuel," was murmured softly.

Sam's chest began to shake, an increasingly familiar warmth filling his chest, and then his thoughts drifted back once more to the other blond without his permission. What all he'd told Sam the day before, how he _was_ Lucifer, the fully aware version even if he was a little shy of a corporeal being for whatever reason. He couldn't stop thinking about it and how it'd disappeared when he told it to, like he really had been keeping it around all that time... It hadn't come back yet either.

Sam chewed on the inside of his cheek as he considered how what he was about to say might not be taken well, but he needed someone to talk to about it. So he spoke up despite the weird uncertainty plaguing him. "I've been meaning to tell you...."—Sam received an encouraging hum that seemed unconcerned so he kept on—"I should've, uh." Shit. He tried again. "The hallucination, he—I mean _it_ , it thinks it's your memories." He stopped.

Lucifer didn't respond immediately, but his body grew still, and the air around them seemed to mimic the action. "And what do you think?" was asked quietly.

Sam swallowed, and he shrugged the shoulder the blond wasn't crowding. "Maybe."

"Did he say what his plans were?"

Dark brows knitted together some. "Can memories _have_ plans?"

"Good question, I'm not sure."

Sam exhaled heavily.

"You say you can make him appear when you want?"

Sam turned his head and looked down into unnervingly focused blue eyes. "That's what it said," he hesitated, "I've never tried though."

Lucifer rolled his tongue along the inside of his lower lip, his expression calculating before saying, "Try it right now."

Sam drew in a slow breath, his chest rising and fighting the sudden tightness trying to take over. "Why?"

"Just curious... I want to see if I can feel it."

Sam closed his eyes, and he felt fingers flex gently against his lower back. "Okay, I'll try."

"You _rang_."

Sam exhaled through pursed lips, his cheeks puffing out some. It'd worked. He wasn't going to panic. He _wasn't_ going to—

"Is he here now?" Lucifer asked, his voice obtrusive into the suddenly quieter, dark room.

Sam struggled to answer and failed.

"Wow, okay, I'm going to be completely honest here — I'm _flattered_ , Sam, really, also... I'm thinking threesome... _thoughts_?" Before Sam could answer he could feel a body slinking up his, and a soft sound of distress crawled in his throat. "Look at me, Sammy. _You_ called me here, after all."

Sam pried open his eyes, blood whooshing frantically in his ears. He could just make out a silent Lucifer in his peripheral, but he was focused on the figure straddling him that looked incredibly real. He widened already wide eyes, lifting dark brows the slightest bit, to signal to the hallucination to go ahead with whatever he wanted to say.

It smiled at him gamely, realization appearing behind disturbingly familiar blue orbs. "You don't want him to know about this, do you? ... _Us_ ," he asked, dipping down to whisper the last word suggestively against Sam's chin with a wiggle of his blond brows.

Sam growled, aware that the archangel by his side was sitting up to get a better look at him. "There isn't a _thing_ ," he said back to the hallucination, purposely vague, and wanting to push it away. Instead he pressed back into the pillow, turning his head some to get away from the not-so-unpleasant sensation.

Sam met the real Lucifer's waiting gaze finally. "He's here, now what?"

The blond looked at him then at the empty space above him for a few beats before his gaze flicked back. "Where is he?"

"Mmm, you smell like _sex_ ," was whispered roughly against Sam's jawline, "I wonder..." And then a tongue stretched out and trailed widely up the side of his face, a dirty groan rumbling against Sam's eardrums.

Sam gasped loudly, and he blinked rapidly, his body screaming that the touch was undoubtedly _real_. His hands lifted of their own accord, and palms met what felt like a solid body overtop him; and his heart tried to jump into his throat. "Right here, he's right there, now what?"

Lucifer's head tilted slowly to one side, seemingly unaware that Sam was struggling, and then he reached out a hand.

The hallucination gasped harshly, his tone changing very abruptly. He dipped his head, spiky blond hair brushing Sam's forehead. " _No_ , no, tell him to _stop_." Sam said nothing, but then the hallucination above him began to shake, first it crawled up his arms and into his shoulders, then his entire body began to vibrate, muscles flexing harder and harder, eyes twisted shut and teeth gritted together in a look of sheer agony—

" _Stop_." Sam shoved the hallucination off of him and out of the archangel's reach. He watched him roll to a stop onto his back just at the foot of the bed, unresponsive, eyes still closed, and a pale sheen to his complexion.

"Sam... why did you do that?" Lucifer asked, very carefully, after no more than a few seconds had passed.

Sam jumped, turning his upper body and finding Lucifer glowering at him. He felt suddenly ill at ease. He blinked a few times, working hard to hide it. "Do what?"

Blue eyes stared at him, unwavering. "Where is he now?" His voice was quiet, but it sounded intentionally so, like he was trying to hide something from Sam.

And Sam found himself shaking his head as he fought the sudden urge to just leave, to run for it. There was nowhere to go though. He was on an island. Shit.

"Sam, _where_ the _fuck_ is _he_?" Lucifer had moved closer and onto his knees as he looked down at the tall brunet.

Dark brows pushed down. Lucifer was acting really different; he didn't like it at all. "Why do you want to know?" he said, brusque.

A hand grabbed Sam's left shoulder too hard, and Sam felt his entire body start to buzz like a live wire.

"Just tell me _now_ , and I'll explain _later_."

Sam tried to pull his shoulder away from the uncomfortably tight grip, but Lucifer held him in place and grabbed his other shoulder too. " _No_ ," he said, getting increasingly agitated, "tell me what you were doing _now_ or send me back to _Dean_."

Silence followed the statement.

"Sam..." The angel leaned in closer, and Sam turned his face away. Lucifer sighed into his hair. "I'm sorry... I lost it a little there, didn't I?"

Sam said nothing. He just looked over to the hallucination, who was lying there limp, and he was surprised when he felt a swell of guilt. It was official, he was really fucked up. "Tell me," he said quietly.

"I was trying to get rid of it," Lucifer murmured thoughtfully.

Sam swallowed tightly, and he glanced back down at the hurt looking hallucination. Maybe it wasn't a hallucination though, because that didn't make sense... "Why would you want to do that?"

Hands that had been grabbing his shoulders slid up to hold his neck gently. "Sam — if I tell you something I need you to promise me you'll stay calm."

Sam felt his pulse start to pick up defiantly. "Okay. I promise," he lied.

"My memories are starting to come back." He closed his hands around the back of Sam's neck when he started to pull away. "Please. Don't—do—that." The archangel relaxed his grip after a few tense beats. "I think it's the reason. It needs to be dealt with, do you understand?"

Sam paused, and he realized something then he'd never known he should even question. "You don't want your memories back?"

"Why would I?" Lucifer asked, his gaze flicking sharply to where Sam had been looking. "They'll only make me unhappy," he said more slowly, "Gabriel and I both think it will make dealing with the heaven issue harder, not to mention... we both know you won't be sticking around once I have them all back..."

Sam flexed his jaw. "I never said that." And fuck, if it didn't sound like a huge lie. It didn't make sense though. He was already spending time with both of them kinda voluntarily, but Lucifer was right... just the idea of him being one again, _whole_ , and real, not just feeling like he was real, had him wanting to run for some reason. It wasn't fair, but it didn't make it any less the case. "I'm not going to lie," Sam said, hoarse, "I don't want it to happen."

Lucifer raised blond brows, waiting.

Sam grimaced. "But I remember what you were like, everything you did."

"You don't trust me."

Sam thought about that, and then he spoke carefully. "I don't trust... that the time without your memories has changed you enough"—he paused, meeting the angel's bright blue gaze—"do you?"

Lucifer smiled a little at that, but there seemed to be an apology hiding in it, and Sam looked down. "So then tell me where it is right now, and we'll fix this together."

Sam resisted glancing over again to where the hallucination lay, because he was pretty sure it was the only confirmation Lucifer was waiting for... and... and he didn't want to hurt it for some inexplicable reason. Shit. "I can't do that, I won't," he said, barely getting the words out, "it'd be wrong."

The tall brunet felt hands fall away, and then he was alone, as expected. Well, not exactly. He glanced over finally to find the hallucination looking even worse, and a numb sort of sadness tried to fill him. He'd pushed away the Lucifer he wanted, and for _what_? So he could be tortured by a manifestation of his memories?

Sam sighed and moved to the edge of the bed. He looked around, making sure he was in fact alone, and then he reached out carefully. He touched what felt like clammy skin, his hand pressing to the hallucination's forehead, and an unsteady breath escaped through his nostrils, his jaw set. He didn't know anything about whatever he was dealing with, but it wasn't good. "Hey," he said, his low voice rough. His hand moved down to the blond's shoulder, and he gave it a gentle shake. Nothing.

"Shit." He pulled the body carefully away from the edge, and then he just sat there, the only noise his own uneven breathing, unsure what to do.

The blond hallucination groaned, closed eyes pinching shut harder, and Sam leaned over, scanning for any physical sign of injury even though he was pretty sure that wasn't how it worked. He hesitated. "...Lucifer?"

A sliver of blue irises peered back up at him, startling in their brightness. Then they disappeared behind clenched eyelids again, and the blond rolled onto his side, curling up until the rather tall hallucination looked almost small.

Sam swallowed, his heart starting to race, as he watched a tremor take over the quite probable figment of his imagination.

" _Cold_."

Sam blinked a few times, the simple word taking a few seconds to roll around his jumbled mind before it could find his attention. " _Oh_." He leaned over and grabbed the blankets off the floor where they'd ended up, and dark brows furrowed the slightest bit before he tried to cover him up.

A hand came up, stopping him, the touch like ice on Sam's arm. "No.  _You_ , Sam."

Sam didn't feel sheets slip from his hands as he struggled to make sense. Was he asking what he thought?

The brunet glanced unsurely around the darkened space as he struggled to convince himself there was no other way it could've been meant, and then he slowly lowered down beside the hallucination on the middle of the bed, his lungs squeezing anxiously.

He felt cold hands grasp the sides of his neck, and he hissed in a breath at the icy feeling that made him feel like he'd just jumped head first into a frozen lake. He closed green eyes and instead of pulling away, he shifted closer and let the blond press his entire body up against his. "How, uh, how's that...?" He cleared his throat, not noticing the cold quite as much despite it spreading over his chest and creeping down his stomach. "Any better?" He pressed.

The hallucination only exhaled against his neck, the sound one of relief.

Sam didn't say more, but when a hand slid down onto his upper arm, gripping tightly, he shifted even closer and carefully wrapped it around the blond's upper body until his grip relaxed. He couldn't tell if he was helping or just getting cold too. He closed his eyes and waited and as the minutes passed he grew more comfortable. His breaths slowed, and the last thing he remembered before drifting off was the feel of the body molded to his as it began to warm some.

* * *

"Thank you, Sam..."

A tongue flicked playfully at Sam's ear, and he grunted sleepily, his lower body responding immediately. He slid hot bare feet between cool ones, and he tilted his head to offer his neck more as he kept his eyes closed. " _Uh_ ," the sound escaped in a low, gravelly way when after a moment's hesitation teeth took a nip at exposed skin, scraping and pulling gently, the feeling burning just enough to send a shock of pleasure down his spine. " _Lucifer_..."

A hand grasped Sam's side firmly in response, and the brunet hooked his leg over his bedmate's hip eagerly so they could get their lower bodies even closer. Then he was being grinded against, the hand on his side pulling him forward to increase the friction when he gasped encouragingly, and a tongue laved at the sensitive spot beneath his chin where his pulse was bouncing in anticipation. He began to pant, and he felt rough breaths suddenly grazing his lower lip.

He tried to meet the almost touching mouth but missed somehow, and lips were pressed against his left ear. "I want you, Sam, more than you can _ever know_." The roughly whispered words snuck into Sam's ear and turned barely conscious thoughts completely useless. "Say you want me too."

"Yeah"—Sam nodded eagerly too just to make sure he was convincing—"I want you too," and the hand on his side began to trail up his torso until a fingertip started to lightly trace the outline of one of his nipples. He bit down on his lower lip when he felt his bedmate dip down, then a tongue was working over pebbled skin, teasing, and he groaned. He grasped the back of Lucifer's head when he began to suck on it. " _Fuck, Luce_."

The mouth on his chest froze, and Sam realized something strange, because he was breathing unevenly but so was Lucifer, which was unusual... and now that he thought about it, a lot of what they were doing was a little _different_.

Sam opened his eyes for the first time, and he focused on familiar blue eyes and not the clothes he _should've_ noticed: jeans and a green shirt. His mouth went dry, and he held back a look of pure panic, but just.

The hallucination stared back at him, and if Sam didn't know better he'd think he was affected.

Sam opened his mouth to speak, but then he was suddenly alone.

"Should I come back later?" The question came from behind.

Sam blinked hard, and he felt fully awake. He rolled onto his back, and he stared up at the archangel who stood on the other side of the sheer white curtain like the hallucination had just days before. He felt a twinge of guilt. "No, I, ah, yeah I thought that was you."

The archangel looked out the door as he cupped his stubbled chin, his expression distracted. Sam pushed himself into a sitting position, running his left hand up to smooth down his hair as he used his right to part the sheer netting that separated them. It was morning, but fortunately the majority of the windows faced the west side of the island so it wasn't uncomfortably bright.

"You know what, let's leave here," Lucifer said abruptly, sounding off.

"What? The island, _why_?" Sam pressed his lips together when piercing blue eyes shifted back to meet his gaze straight on, and he exhaled shakily through his nostrils as his body continued to struggle with the simple task of calming down.

Blond brows lifted solicitously. "Still worked up?" The question was asked simply enough, but something about it had Sam bristling in response.

"I told you, it was an accident," he said, not sounding overly apologetic but not caring. "Plus, he's _you_ , so can you blame me for getting confused?"

"I don't blame you for anything, _hell_ , the more Lucifers the merrier, _amIright_?" Lucifer shot him a mocking sly grin, reminding Sam alarmingly of his hallucination.

Sam blinked. Once. "You're kinda being a dick," he said flatly.

"Yeah, well _maybe_ you should get used to it," the archangel quipped less nicely, and he stabbed his pointer finger at Sam as he bit down hard on his entire lower lip, his expression darkening. " _Mmm_ —You just, you just _couldn't_ leave it _alone_ , could you, Sam? I had him _right_ where I wanted him, but instead of getting rid of the _piece of shit_ I just got some more of his fuck awful memories and you riding him like a horny teenager!"

Sam blinked again, and realization rolled in clearing the mental fog he'd been lost in up until that moment. "Luce—"

"Now I got these _emotions_ "—the archangel laughed harshly—"and, and you _left me, Sam, you just fuckin' booked town and left me all alone down there_! It was so fucking _cold_ , and after you left it _only got colder_."

Sam swallowed, his throat suddenly dry, and he shook his head faintly. "I'm sorry," he said, his low voice gruff, "but Death didn't exactly give me a choice."

" _Like you would have stayed_."

The tall brunet blinked rapidly when his eyes began to sting, and he shrugged distractedly, because he didn't know what else to do. "If it helps, I wasn't happy to be back," he finally said, the words so quiet he barely could make them out himself, "I haven't been happy ever since, not until I ran into you."

His response was silence, and Sam took the moment to feel truly guilty about what'd happened on his and Lucifer's bed. He'd really enjoyed kissing the hallucination, and he wasn't sure if it was because it was all in his head so it had just been exactly what he'd wanted, the tenderness, the heightened level of awareness, the connection he'd felt... but he didn't think so. And it terrified him. "Where do you wanna go?" he asked finally, not wanting to think about it anymore.

"To your brother's."

Sam's head snapped up, his green eyes wide.

Lucifer gave a tight, closed-mouth smile before saying, "He and Castiel are going to help. I've spoken with them already, explained the situation, and Dean says they're on board."

Sam furrowed dark brows as he turned his head, pinching one eye up. "Yeah... I'm _pretty_ sure he's lying to you."

"Of course he is, but it's all I've got right now that might actually work, Gabriel is even less trustworthy."

Sam opened his mouth to voice his disagreement, but then he sighed instead. He breathed a laugh of disbelief and shook his head. "Okay, whatever you wanna do, but don't say I didn't warn you."

Lucifer drew an 'x' over where his heart was, and he received a begrudging grin from Sam in response.

* * *

Sam sighed tiredly as he closed the door to his bedroom at the bunker. Lucifer had brought him there, but he'd not stayed. Evidently, Dean had agreed to help but only on the condition he could have forty-eight hours alone with Sam first, to talk. _Right_. Sam had eaten a completely silent dinner with Dean, who'd glared at him over his burger and fries like he was the devil himself the entire time. Then Cas had shown up immediately afterward, and then he and Dean had gone off somewhere to plot or whatever.

Sam had wandered the place, scanning books that had been left out and marked by Dean. He was clearly trying to find a way to kill and/or incapacitate Lucifer. It didn't look like he'd decided on a path yet, or he was trying to throw Sam off his trail.

The tall brunet frowned as he leaned back against his door. Was that where they were now, he and Dean? Enemies? It didn't feel like it, not with him being there and in his bedroom. Dean hadn't tried to cuff him and lock him in the panic room like he'd half expected when Lucifer had disappeared, and he hadn't had Cas dowse him in holy water in some jerky stab at his character. But Dean was still trying to get rid of Lucifer, and Sam was still doing the exact opposite.

"Looks like it's just us again"—Sam froze, and then his gaze slowly turned up—" _whatever_ will we do to pass the time?"

" _No_." Sam shook his head forcefully as he stared down the grinning hallucination, who was lying stretched out on Sam's bed, propped up on one elbow. "No, you need to go _now_."

"Eh... I'd rather stay."

Sam growled in frustration, and he pushed off the door he'd been resting on. "What the hell do you want from me?"

"Well, I was gonna ask for a kiss, but your spying brother is making it a little awkward."

" _What_?" Sam spun around and pulled open his door to find Dean standing behind it, looking like he'd just been caught. " _Dean_ , what are you doing?"

"Sam..." Dean glanced around Sam's shoulder with a somehow cringing hopeful expression, but then he grunted a sound of disappointment. "Is it in there? The hallucination?"

"Dean, listen to me, you need to get some sleep, don't worry about me."

"Don't worry about you?" Dean husked. "Damnit Sam, I think I've been _more_ than understanding recently, but what the hell are you doing with that hallucination? I remember it torturing you, keeping you up all the time, not to mention the night at that warehouse where it _almost got you t'kill yourself_! Isn't one Satan good enough for you?"

Sam felt his anger begin to grow, and he gritted his teeth. "Shut the hell up, Dean. I can't control it."

"Bullshit." Dean stared at him, and when Sam only furrowed dark brows to shoot him a look of complete confusion he said, "Luce told me you can."

Sam pressed the tip of his tongue into his cheek as he fought an angry smile, and his chest shook in agitation, disbelief ringing in his thoughts. " _Luce_...?"

"Yeah. He said I could call him it," Dean said with a flippant shrug.

" _Don't_ ," Sam said tightly. "Dean, I know you're planning something against him, don't pretend to be nice to him."

"Maybe I'm not pretendin', maybe you don't know me as much as I don't know you," the blond said stubbornly.

"Ohhoho, sticks and stones, am I right, Samuel?" the hallucination drawled behind him, a grin obvious in his voice.

Sam exhaled heavily, and he squeezed at the bridge of his nose. He felt a headache coming on. "It's... it's complicated, okay?"

" _Complicated_?" Dean hissed, suddenly quiet, "You can't tell me you actually wanna bone both of 'em!"

Sam hesitated for only a second before saying quite simply. "They're the same person, Dean, one just has more memories."

"Sam is right."

Sam startled and Dean actually jumped, Castiel suddenly behind him, looking over the blond's shoulder. "Hello, Sam, I'm sorry, but I couldn't help but overhear, angel hearing."

Sam nodded in understanding.

" _Holy hell_ Cas, what'd I say about poppin' up behind me like that?"

"Sorry Dean, I'll try harder. I forgot how easily you scare." He rested his chin on Dean's right shoulder then, his dark blue eyes studying his exposed collarbone.

Sam laughed at that, and Dean held up his index pointedly, shooting Sam a warning look that had the tall brunet rolling his eyes. Then, in a nicer tone than Sam had expected, he spoke directly to the dark-haired angel resting on his shoulder. "I wasn't scared, I was _surprised_." Cas nodded without lifting his chin as if he accepted the explanation as fact, which earned him a small smile from Dean. Then the sandy blond looked back to a surprised Sam and sniffed, lifting his chin to stare straight into his brother's eyes, like he was ready to fight. "What."

Sam raised dark brows and looked between Cas and Dean pointedly. "You got something you wanna share?"

"Nope." Dean popped his lips on the 'p' and Cas remained unhelpfully silent. "What Cas and I do is our business, no one else's, especially not a devil-loving-ungrateful-little-brother like you."

" _Right_." Sam resisted the urge to check if the hallucination was still there as he said simply, "Goodnight guys, I'm tired." He shut the door, ignoring Dean saying his name behind it like he was a huge disappointment, and he dropped onto the bed, his back to the hallucination. "I'm _exhausted_ ," he breathed.

Then he felt the bed shift behind him, and an arm carefully slid around his waist. "I'll let you sleep."

Sam ignored the weird tingling feeling in his chest and closed his eyes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, long chapter! Let me know if you're enjoying, it's the only way I know... still working on the mind reading thing... hehe <3


	17. Chapter 17

Sam woke abruptly, sitting up with a start. There were curses and clanging noises, and the tall hunter looked around, feeling disoriented, as he took in the foreign-feeling space surrounding him.

" _Shit. Cas_ , a little help?" Dean's muffled voice travelled from the same direction of the loud clanging.

Sam blinked groggily then widened green eyes extra in an effort to wake himself more. He stared at a mostly empty desk, his hands behind him propping him upright. His desk. Right. He was back at the bunker.

The tall brunet sat up more only to lean over and didn't quite hold in a groan. He really wasn't up for this, whatever this was.

A banging rattled his door abruptly, and Sam turned his head slowly to scowl at it.

"Rise'n'shine, Sammy," Dean said gruffly as he opened his door without permission and leaned his upper body inside the room. He made a show of scanning the sparsely filled space, even going so far as to shoot a long look under Sam's bed. "Satan's not hiding in here, is he?"

Sam just blinked. "What do you want, Dean?"

"Touchy." Dean snorted as he righted himself, seeming content Sam's bedroom was devil free, and he raised dark blond brows at him expectantly. "I made you breakfast, hurry 'fore it's cold."

Sam hesitated. "You what?"

" _Breakfast_ , you're hungry right?" Dean clapped his hands out in front of him nonchalantly and rocked up onto his toes, but there was an air of giddiness about him that had Sam narrowing his eyes. "What're you waiting for, hurry it up."

Sam opened his mouth to respond, with what he didn't know, but Dean just turned and walked off, leaving his door open and shouting as he strode away, "If you don't come now, I'm giving it to Cas."

Sam took another moment to try and process what had happened, but then he heard Cas quietly saying he didn't want to eat his food. Sam sighed and climbed off his bed. He glanced down at his clothes and considered changing out of the shorts and t-shirt he'd been wearing when Lucifer had dropped him off, but then he just walked towards the open door.

He trailed down the hallway towards the quiet noises of eating, the floor uncomfortably cold on his bare feet. He strained his hearing, he could hear Dean and Cas talking softly but couldn't make out what they were saying. He stopped in the arched doorway of the dining room—that really wasn't a dining room—and his eyes widened a little at what he saw.

Dean and Cas were seated next to each other, Dean at the end of the table, and Cas on his right. There were large serving plates Sam didn't know they owned, and they had food on them: fruit, eggs, bacon and sausage... waffles on one of them.

Dean stabbed a link of sausage and bit it in half, and he grunted happily. "These are good, Cas."

"Yes, they're hard to ruin I was told," the serious angel said, and then he seemed to hesitate before turning his piercing gaze on Sam. "Morning, Sam, did you sleep well?"

Sam held back a blink, but he couldn't get a smile to appear. "Uh, yeah, it was all right," he lied, and then he walked into the room, his gaze darting around like there was a trap waiting for him, because what the hell? He cleared his throat, and when Dean kicked at the chair to his left without looking up, making it slide back a good two feet Sam lowered down into the chair feeling more confused than ever.

"I made your favorite, waffles," Dean said before taking a huge bite of eggs.

Sam stared down at the table, and then over to Dean, his brother avoiding his gaze and acting like everything was perfectly normal. Sam sighed and used the fork and plate obviously intended for him to make a plate even though he didn't feel that hungry.

"O.J.?"

Sam started somewhat, but he just found Dean holding a box of orange juice at him. Sam took it without a word, suspicion crawling up through him and causing his broad shoulders to tense and his thoughts to grow more rigid, feeling somehow like a kid who'd done something so bad his parents just wanted to pretend it wasn't real.

He poured a glass and then started on his food distractedly, chewing without really tasting. He wondered what Lucifer was doing with their time apart, admittedly a little worried he might be doing something that would require someone having his back. He didn't know if Gabriel was or wasn't actually on their side, well, Lucifer's side. _Was_ he choosing Lucifer's side, even with his memories coming back? It wasn't like he'd changed drastically with them so far. Or was Sam just starting to lose perspective? Was there an actual side to pick in all this or was it more so a matter of—

"So what's the deal with you'n Satan?"

Sam choked on his bite of waffle, and covered his mouth with his fist as he coughed, struggling not to be bested by the piece of food. He cleared his throat, his eyes filling, and he took a sip of orange juice to help. Then he focused back on his surroundings to ground his thoughts. "Ah, what do you mean?" he said, because, he actually didn't know. 

Dean set down his fork, his elbows resting on either side of his unfinished plate, and his expression finally settled into something Sam could understand as a heavy silence fell over the table; and he bristled immediately in response.

"Dean, _please_ ," Cas said quietly, his low voice extra rough, and Sam couldn't help but liken him to the mom in the equation. "Remember what we decided..."

"I can't help it," Dean said, his tone shouting even if his voice wasn't technically loud enough. " _Look at him_ ," he said, waving haphazardly at a leaning back Sam, "just sittin' there, _eatin' waffles_."

"What?" Sam laughed in confusion, wondering what he'd missed. "Did you want me to _not_ eat them?"

" _No_ ," Dean snapped back, "I wanted you to show a little _remorse_ , maybe a little _gratitude_ woulda been nice too. Do you know how long Cas and I worked on this for you?"

Sam blinked rapidly, and he resisted the urge to leave. "What the _hell_ are you talking about, Dean? I didn't ask you to make me breakfast, and why would I be sorry? I haven't _done_ anything wrong. Plus, Cas is an angel, why would it take a long time?" Dean's face began to turn red, and, yeah, maybe Sam was yelling a little now too.

"Dean—"

Dean stood up, throwing down a napkin that had been hidden on his lap. "That's it. I've tried to be nice—"

"Tried to be _nice_?" Sam had jumped up too, towering inches over his older brother, and he was happy for it at that moment. "Dean, I didn't ask to be left here with you, _you_ wanted that, and I am being nice, Lucifer too for—"

Dean shrunk the space between them, and Cas was standing now too. " _Don't you dare bring him up right now_!"

Sam started laughing incredulously.

"I'm _serious_ , Sammy, you've lost your _fucking_ mind! Off on vacation, cuddling with the _devil himself_ , while Cas and I are here bustin' our tails fightin' leviathan trying' to save the world, almost dyin' every day, and you don't even feel bad about it!"

Sam'd had a train of thought, and it had been flying along, angry and indignant, picking up incredible momentum. But then Dean's words began to actually sink in some, and it slammed to a painful halt, derailing. "Wait." Sam frowned, one side of his face pinching up with uncertainty. "Leviathan? Like... like... those sea monster things?"

Dean looked just as angry, but he lifted his chin in a terse nod, not offering anything else, either because he was too angry to talk, or to just annoy him. Sam looked over to Cas for clarification.

The dark-haired angel visibly sighed, and Sam noticed then how drained he looked. "Yes, they escaped from purgatory somehow, it appears something extremely powerful let them out. They need stopped before they end all humanity."

Sam cleared his throat, and he felt the first true trickles of remorse. He shook his head minutely and focused on what little he'd been told. "When did this happen?"

Cas spoke up again. "We believe a few days after you left us."

Sam said nothing, but his brain unhelpfully reminded him what else appeared just a few days after he'd left. Lucifer. He hid his reaction. "What do you mean extremely powerful," he asked, working to keep his face straight, "like a witch or Crowley?"

Dean snorted and finally joined back in. "Wasn't Crowley, we checked, he's just as upset as we are, damn slimy things wanna stamp out humans and demons."

"It would've had to have been an angel or god himself," Castiel said, his tone somber as he focused on Sam.

Sam's mind hummed, and he intently studied the floor. It couldn't have been Lucifer, no, he refused to admit it was the most likely explanation. "Why didn't you guys tell me about it?"

"I _tried_ , but you were too busy taking it up—"

Sam looked up, his brows lifted, and his chest was tight, the scathing sentiment even unfinished hitting its mark well. Cas's hand was on Dean's arm. His brother looked like he wanted to explode with the last couple words. "Go ahead, say it."

Dean growled, like he wanted nothing more, but Cas's hand remained on his arm in a simple, silent gesture that Sam had seen stop Dean in his tracks almost like magic at the worst times.

"Be honest, Dean," he persisted, suddenly quiet, and he refused to meet pleading blue eyes trained on him, because Cas wasn't going to keep him quiet too, "you wouldn't be _half_ as upset over this if it was the opposite between me and Luce. You just can't stand the thought of him fucking me."

Dean let out what sounded like a roar, and he moved away from Cas and towards his taller little brother, his hand coming up to stab Sam in the chest almost painfully. "You _better_ not be lettin' him fuck you, Sam, or I _swear_ to god—"

" _What_ ," Sam shouted back, ignoring Cas's request they calm down as he leaned angrily into the fingertip stabbing his chest, "or _what, Dean_ , 'cause I am letting him. It's my call, _no one_ else's, and I'm going to _continue_ to let him for as long as I want—"

"The _hell you will_!" Dean moved away from him like he was contagious with some devil loving communicable disease. "You're not leaving here again until he's back where he belongs and you've grown some common sense, and that's _final_!"

"What? Like I'm _grounded_?" Sam laughed the words, his voice breathy, disbelieving, because Dean was _insane_. "I'm not a little kid anymore, you can't just stop me from leaving, and you can't decide what I do _even_ if it is with _Satan_."

" _Watch me_ ," Dean growled, then under his breath, "you'll thank me for this some day." He shot a meaningful look at Cas, who seemed apologetic but for only a split-second before a quiet resignation took over.

"Sorry Sam," was the last thing Sam heard, then everything went black, and the tall hunter vaguely felt his face meet the hard floor.

* * *

Sam stared at marked up ground. He was seated beside two ignored dishes of food and a full cup of water, his legs bent and splayed out until the sides were almost touching the floor, and he was also ignoring Dean.

"Sam... you gotta be hungry, it's been a whole day."

Sam closed his eyes, still ignoring. Lucifer would notice soon he wasn't reachable, and he wasn't looking forward to it. He was worried, angry, but worried. Maybe he'd get lucky, and the fallen archangel wouldn't notice he'd been trapped by Dean and Cas. That was the best outcome.

"He's gotta at least drink something, he won't last long like that," was said in Bobby's familiar gruff voice. "You sure this is the right thing to do, Dean?"

Bobby. Sam had thought the guy who he'd always kinda thought of as a dad, more so than his own, would have at least seen how stupid this all was. He wasn't doing anything wrong, and neither was Lucifer... he didn't think.

"Wow, this is an interesting change of scenery."

Sam swallowed, his throat dry, protesting. He ignored the subtle tickle inside his chest at the sound of Lucifer's voice. He'd been surprised when he'd woken up in the panic room at Bobby's. He didn't know why, but he had been.

He rested the crown of his head on the curved wall behind him and stared up blankly at nothing. Maybe Dean was right, maybe he was a little crazy. Maybe that's why he always found himself at odds with everyone he cared about when it came to making his own decisions. For example, his recent proclivity of kissing the devil.

"Hey, you okay there, Sammy?"

A cool hand touched to Sam's face, cupping it gently, and Sam closed bloodshot eyes, wishing it was real as the itching inside his chest grew to a wistful rushing feeling. He should've been more careful; he'd just kinda trusted Dean not to do anything against his will, and funnily enough, it was because of his time spent with Lucifer. The fallen archangel, for all of his shortcomings, kept his word, even if it was only towards Sam. Sam wondered idly if he was selfish for not caring about the stipulation, and he was pretty sure that, yes, he was.

"Hey, look at me."

Sam shook his head almost imperceptibly. He wouldn't let himself interact with the hallucination right now. He was lonely yeah, and desperate for someone to tell him he wasn't a loose cannon who couldn't trust his own decisions, but he could also tell he was weak at the moment. He didn't trust himself to interact with it, not here. He closed his eyes when they burned threateningly. He _hated_ it here.

A sigh filled the space just in front of Sam, and then the tall hunter felt a hand encircle his wrist. "Come on, to the bed we go."

Sam's eyes opened in surprise as he slowly stood, the hand pulling him up, or was he just imagining it and standing himself. The hallucination now in view grinned puckishly at him as he guided him towards the cot. "It's curious, isn't it?" he teased.

Sam cleared his throat again, grimacing when it felt like sandpaper. He could hear Dean whispering something as he walked toward the bed.

"Sam, he's _not_ real!"

Sam realized how he must look, and he tried to pull his outstretched hand away, but the hallucination's grip tightened around it.

"Ah ah — _why_ would you want to appease him right now?"

Sam blinked. Then he blinked again. "You're right, I don't know," he answered hoarsely, and he was rewarded with an angry growl from behind the locked door. Then he let the blond pull him onto the cot and snuggle up behind him. He could feel a strong arm wrap snugly around him, and he gave up and took the comfort. "I hate it in here," he mumbled.

"Mm, I can sympathize."

Sam felt sadness rush inside his chest on the archangel's behalf. He blocked out Dean's angry words directed at him easily; he could always let him out if he wanted him to stop. "I barely remember it, the cage, just snippets, and it was _terrible_... was it really that much better with me there?" he asked, because if it truly was Lucifer's memories, who better to ask.

Sam waited for a response, and he felt the arm around him tighten. Lips grazed the shell of his ear, and he couldn't hold back a shiver. "Like night and day," was murmured thoughtfully.

The tall hunter felt guilt. "Why don't you hate me for it? For putting you back down there, for leaving?"

Then the hallucination said something Sam never expected. "I did, for trapping me, and I took it out on you for a long time. But you didn't just leave, I let you go, Sam, I gave you the choice. Death is powerful, but he couldn't sever our bond, I did that."

Sam responded immediately. "Why?"

"Your spirit, it was dying," Lucifer said simply, but Sam could swear there was some emotion hiding in it that echoed painfully in the hunter's chest. "And you didn't want to stay."

Silence pervaded the depressing room, and Sam focused on the feel of the hallucination pressed up against him instead. "Thanks for this... I mean, thanks for being nice."

"You know what's funny?" was said against the nape of Sam's neck, and the tall hunter waited patiently for the rest. "I didn't realize you'd ever actually be receptive to it, not until I saw you interacting with my incomplete self."

Sam felt something click inside his mind, and suddenly the two Lucifers somehow felt much more like two jagged halves of a broken whole. "Well, the prospect of killing you made it easier at first," he admitted, and he smiled some despite feeling exhausted, when he received a smothered laugh. Fingertips snuck inside the front of his shirt, carefully skimming up his stomach.

Sam said nothing, but he was glad he was faced away from the door as a cool breath grew warmer, lingering at the base of his neck just over his collar. Then fingers began to skate back down at a teasing pace and towards his shorts.

"I know a way to make big brother Dean let you out," was said with the hint of a smile. Then Sam drew in a shallow breath as fingers tiptoed playfully over the waist of his shorts to lightly grasp at the front of them, and the hallucination bumped his lower body forward and into Sam's backside with a low groan of appreciation. "I can hear the keys already _jingling_..."

Sam huffed a semi-laugh, and he wished he could say that was his only focus at the moment, getting out, but it wasn't.

"You gotta help me out a little here, Sam," was hissed. Then sharp teeth clamped down on Sam's left shoulder through his shirt, piercing the skin.

" _Fuck_!" Sam swore loudly in pain but then euphoria began to cloud his thoughts, and he was about to ask for it again when the locked door to the panic room swung open with a bang.

Sam felt the hallucination pull away instantly, but a chaste kiss was pressed to his stubbled jawline. "Call me later," was said impishly, then Dean was in front of him.

"Get up, Sam."

Sam rolled onto his stomach and buried his face into the thin pillow he'd just been sharing. "Go'way, Dean," he mumbled grumpily into the pillow's covering. Yeah he wanted out, but he wasn't just going to jump every time Dean said so... it made sense.

"I'm serious, I'm not leaving you in here with that thing, c'mon."

Sam's shoulders began to shake silently.

"Somethin' funny?"

Sam pushed himself up to sit on the bed's edge as he glared at Dean. "Yeah, _you_." His brother's expression hardened, and he crossed his arms tightly, only egging Sam on more. The tall brunet threw up a hand in exasperation, motioning at him, and Dean glanced down at himself nonchalant. "I mean, _look at you_. You're acting just like, Dad. Do you actually think you can control everything about me? My sex life, my opinions, when I eat and drink, what I think? So what, I _like_ Lucifer, he's not hurting anyone, just get over it. Who knows, maybe he could even help with the leviathan thing."

"NO."

Sam furrowed dark brows. "No? That's all you have to say?"

Dean looked over to the door that was closed again, and he seemed to be thinking. "Do you know how worried I've been about you?" He turned his gaze back on Sam then, and he flexed his jaw like he was fighting some emotion but wasn't quite winning. "I tried to call, but you wouldn't answer, Cas couldn't find you. I just kept thinking he was gonna kill you or hurt you or both, and then, when I finally get you back _safe_ you don't care at all. You don't ask me or Cas how we've been, you don't apologize for scaring the living shit out of us, you don't even _try_ to explain why you had the sudden change of heart and shacked up with the _sonofabitch_ who wanted to wear you like a fucking meat suit. You just mope around and ignore me, and then"—Sam watched Dean grow visibly more upset—" _then_ you say you've been letting him fuck you, and all I can think is the guy is a huge sadistic _creep_ , and it makes me sick, _Sam_! So I'm sorry if you think I'm trying to control you, but I don't wanna see you hurt! You're all the family I got now, and I'm terrified he's going to take you away from me, and I won't be able to do anything about it. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

Sam pressed his lips between his teeth. He stared at the floor. "I'm sorry, Dean, I am. I should've called, I just didn't want to argue."

"But why _him_? If you're lonely, I could help you find someone, Sammy. We could go bar hopping or, uh, to the library, or wherever you usually go for that type of thing."

Sam looked up. "I appreciate that, Dean, but I _actually_ really like Lucifer, I'm not just desperate. Nothing bad is going to happen, I promise." When Dean didn't look convinced Sam sighed tiredly. "I don't want to be in here anymore, can't we just go back to the bunker and pretend this never happened?"

* * *

Sam sat slouched back on a couch inside the bunker, reading from a book as he tried to find something that could kill leviathans.

"Sam Winchester, the model student."

Sam looked up, and a smile curled up his features, the tightness in his chest lightening. Lucifer was leaning on his shoulder in the doorway, wearing a pair of dark jeans and a black, short-sleeved graphic t-shirt with a long-sleeved grey one beneath. He was biting at his thumbnail and shooting Sam a coy look.

Sam sat upright. "Hey, you're here."

"Yeah, Dean-o let me in," Lucifer said as he pushed off the frame, and then he began to stroll in, his gaze teasing. "I'd kiss you hello, but I've been warned that you're as pure as a young maiden not yet tainted by even lingering glances and should be treated as such."

Sam looked down at his book and laughed as he shook his head. He'd be annoyed, but he was just happy Dean had evidently let him in at all and he was here now. Lucifer sat down right beside him, their legs and sides touching, and the blond leaned in towards him, Sam turning his head to meet him halfway.

"On second thought I am the _devil_ , and you do look quite tempting..." Lucifer murmured, his words puffing gently against Sam's lip.

Sam felt another smile tug softly at the corners of his mouth and inside his chest, and he met his lips, letting his own part almost immediately. He felt a hand grasp the back of his head, fingers tangling in his hair, and he pressed back into the couch as Lucifer began to move over him still leaned down, kissing him. He grasped the blond's hips as he straddled him, and he sucked in a needed breath when talented lips began to work on his rough jawline. "We should go to my bedroom...—"

Sam drifted off as he found a wide-eyed Cas watching them silently. " _Cas_ ," he blurted, his hands tightening on Lucifer's sides, and the blond glanced over his shoulder to shoot the shocked angel a sharkish grin.

"How's it going, baby brother?"

Castiel blinked. "I'm very tired and stressed."

Lucifer laughed at that.

The dark-haired angel furrowed pitch-dark brows but then turned his attention to Sam. "Dean wanted me to tell you we're going out to get food, but we'll be back very soon." The angel cleared his throat. "I think he's trying to ask you not to have sex while we're gone."

Sam fought a grin as Lucifer barked a laugh, and Cas stood there for only another second before walking off dutifully. Then the next thing he knew Lucifer was kissing him again roughly. "You've been bad while I was away," Lucifer said against his chin, "just because it's a hallucination doesn't mean I can't sense what you did with it."

Sam heard the door to the bunker shut, and he met bright blue eyes up close. "He was helping me."

The archangel smiled somewhat. "I'm sure he was."

Sam felt heat rush up the back of his neck, and he rubbed at it, pinching up one eye as he tried to explain. "No, I mean, I was in a, uh, really tight spot, and he did it to help me out of it. It's hard to explain."

"I see." The blond archangel bit down on his lower lip as he looked around the room distractedly, his shirts pulling tight around his shoulders and upper back. "So are we staying for a while, or are we outta here?"

Sam grinned sheepishly at that. "You'd be willing to stay here with me?"

Lucifer shot him an arched look. "Of course I would."

The tall brunet thought for a long moment. He did want to help Dean and Cas, and maybe they actually would help Lucifer in return if he spoke to Dean about it, for real though, without yelling and being proactively super defensive.

He found himself nodding. "Yeah, I'd like to stay for a little bit."

"Okay, well, let's see this room of yours with a bed you were talking about." Lucifer climbed off Sam, looking down at him expectantly.

Sam stood up, hesitant. He stretched, scratching at the back of his head. "Uh, yeah... I'm not sure if sex is a good idea right now, after what Cas said." He half mumbled the words, disagreeing mentally with himself. What was he doing jumping between them, or was it jumping if they were technically the same—

" _Sam_."

Sam raised dark brows questioningly, his hand still in his hair.

"Just show me your room then." Lucifer grinned, watching him curiously.

Sam nodded slowly at that. "Yeah, okay, come on." The tall hunter felt keenly aware of Lucifer as he strolled alongside him. Every time he'd glance over at him he'd flash him an innocent smile... which really didn't feel that innocent at all, if anything it felt the exact opposite. He stopped outside his room and motioned at the closed door. "It's behind there."

Lucifer leaned his right shoulder on the door and looked down at the piece of solid wood. "Nice door."

Sam nodded. "Thanks. It's never been replaced."

The blond hummed with interest. "Must be sturdy," he said, giving it a light rap with his knuckles.

Sam touched the doorknob, hesitating. "We really shouldn't."

"That's fine."

Sam sighed, and he twisted the knob, pushing his door open. Then it shut back with a soft click behind Lucifer. He could feel the archangel behind him, and so he turned around to face him. He found his attention focused on curled lips, and his breath hitched when a hand grasped his side firmly.

"I like your room, maybe a little too much flare though," Lucifer said idly, pulling Sam minutely closer.

Sam broke into a smile, his pulse jumping already. "I've never had a reason to decorate my room, we never stayed anywhere long enough."

Lucifer leaned in closer, and Sam's eyelids dipped in expectation, but the archangel raised two fingers to his forehead instead, hovering. "Can I?" he husked.

Sam's smile fell somewhat. "For what?"

The archangel tilted his head slightly. "You're dehydrated, slightly malnourished, and your brainwaves are... off."

Sam swallowed, and then he cleared his throat, not wanting to think about why that was the case at that moment. "I'll be fine, it'll go away on its own."

"That's not what I asked, Sam."

The words were said quietly but with a pointedness that had Sam nodding reluctantly. "Yeah, if you want."

Cool fingertips touched gently to his head in response, and Sam drew in a silent breath, relaxation crawling up his spine and out through his limbs, his body and mind felt like they were suddenly more capable, all tension melting away. The touch lifted, and he opened his eyes with a sigh of relief. "Thanks, Luce."

Lucifer said nothing at first, merely studied him intently, his other hand still resting on Sam's side as they stood way too close inside his bedroom for Sam's mind to work properly. "Does it feel different lately?" His voice quiet, words edged with something that felt oddly similar to anger but not quite. "You used to have a much different response."

Sam blinked. "What? _Oh_ , uh—yeah kinda, it's not as uncomfortable, it feels more pleasant. Are you doing something different?"

"No." Lucifer shook his head then, ever so slightly, still studying Sam with an intensity that made the silence in the bunker feel loud somehow. "So would a nap be too risqué right now?"

"A _nap_?" Sam puzzled at the suggestion, but then he noticed the smallest smile, and he couldn't help the twitching of his own lips. "Uh, no, a nap would be really nice."

Lucifer stepped forward, and Sam took compensatory ones back until his calves were brushing his mattress. "You first," he offered politely, then he pushed Sam back onto the bed.

Sam grinned up at the blond, an amused breath escaping him. He shook his head as he shifted back until he was resting on his pillow. "Such a gentleman."

"MmHmm," Lucifer hummed as he leaned over to crawl up next to Sam. He dropped down beside him, leaving no space for air between them. His lips trailed dangerously close to Sam's jumping pulse under his chin, puffing cool air against it until it was racing, the brunet's thoughts having no choice but to sprint after it. " _Sam_..."

Sam exhaled a soft grunt unintelligibly. There were fingers sneaking down his stomach, his lower body responding in an eager painfulness. "Y-yeah?" He was able to get out, his voice breathy and rough.

" _Mmm_ , you're _so sexy_ , y'know that?" Lucifer's murmured words of appreciation sunk into his pulsing skin, sending mind-numbing tingles down his spine, and Sam swore mentally... or maybe out loud, because Lucifer chuckled into his skin. "Have you missed me?"

Sam nodded just barely, Lucifer's mouth impeding the motion, and his chest quivered at the feeling of damp lips brushing against his throat in a seemingly errant touch. "Yeah, ah... did you?" he asked, and he hadn't realized how deep he was in all this until his chest gave a sharp twinge in anticipation for the fallen archangel's response.

"More than you could know," was Lucifer's quiet response, and the tall brunet felt a rushing inside his lungs that pressed on his heart making it beat impossibly harder. Then lips crushed to his lower one, and he 'mphed' in eagerness, pulling Lucifer up against him full on, his mouth opening with a receptive groan, all reservations melting away.

 

 

 


	18. Chapter 18

Clothes lay strewn about Sam's once tidy room. The hunter's shirt was hanging off the back of his chair, his pants were in a heap resting against his door. His fingers were outstretched and trailing lazily over Lucifer's two shirts that were inside out and on the floor just within reach. He remembered with a tired smile pulling them off the blond just so he could feel his skin against his. There was something oddly addictive about Lucifer, his touch, his attention... or maybe it was just a fault in Sam's personality.

"Your brother is back."

Sam hummed dismissively. He felt an impish expression tug at his features as upturned lips pressed to the back of his right shoulder. Then the grip around his chest tightened, pressing him back more firmly against the archangel's body.

"Such a nice ass..."

Sam felt his chest begin to shake, and he couldn't help the stupid grin even as he heard Dean and Cas talking. He and Lucifer were definitely in a compromising position, but he couldn't find the energy to care or worry. "Yeah, you like it?" he asked, his voice rough with amusement.

"You know I do," Lucifer murmured appreciatively, bumping up firmly against said body part as if to prove it. " _Samuel_ , this _piece_ is the only reason I put up with all your sass."

Sam started laughing out loud then. He let hands turn his head back some, and then he met pushy lips somewhat sleepily.

"Tired?" was husked roughly against his mouth.

Sam nodded back, enjoying cool fingers as they brushed over his stubbled cheeks gently. "Need to shave," he mumbled, eyes still closed.

"I like it."

Sam felt his heart skip without warning. He blew out a soft breath in response, and then he felt a lip graze curiously over his unshaven cheek. "Yeah?" he kind of croaked. A single set of footsteps trailed past his door, slowing slightly but not stopping, and Sam found he couldn't care less.

"MmHmm..." Lucifer nipped playfully at Sam's jaw. Then he drifted back to his ear. "Let's go back to our island," he whispered.

Sam opened his eyes in surprise, and he found bright blue orbs staring down at him, an unapologetic intensity behind them. "Why?" he asked simply, not addressing numerous other issues. Like, when had it become 'their' island, because he wasn't trying to be dramatic. Or, what about helping Dean and Cas, because he hadn't actually asked Lucifer to do _anything_ on their behalf yet. He furrowed dark brows and waited for an answer.

"I like it better there." Lucifer's expression remained the same. "Don't you?"

Sam frowned a little. "Yeah... but I can't just leave."

Lucifer's attention flicked up to the door, and then the next thing Sam knew his door was being shoved open. Sam started to scramble for his blanket at the foot of the bed, but an arm around his waist stopped him, and he realized he was suddenly covered halfway up his chest.

" _Dean_ ," Sam yelped as his brother dipped his head inside his room, " _what the hell_?!"

"I thought I said no foolin' around." Dean glared at him.

Sam felt heat crawl up his chest and the back of his neck. " _Get out_!"

Blond brows pushing down, Dean pursed his lips to one side in obvious distaste. "Get dressed, we need to talk," he grunted.

Sam opened his mouth to argue—

"Mm, can't do that, Deano," Lucifer drawled as he rested his chin on Sam's shoulder. He gave the tense brunet a firm squeeze under the blankets, causing him to let out a gasp, and then nuzzled distractedly at the underside of his jaw. "You see, Sam and I are otherwise occupied..."

Sam heard Dean make an odd protesting noise that kinda sounded like a choke, but a dirty groan and a wet tongue suddenly trailing hot up the lobe of his ear had his attention. He heard the door slam shut along with some choice words, and Lucifer stopped only to press up against him, relaxed once more.

Sam blinked rapidly, processing what had just happened.

"You're welcome," Lucifer offered.

Sam huffed a disbelieving laugh. He didn't know who he was more irritated with at that moment: the devil hugging him or his older nosey brother.

"Him, definitely him," Lucifer said against the back of his head, and when Sam growled he added, "Not reading your mind, Sammy."

Sam clenched his jaw and counted to ten. "So what, I'm just that _simple_ to read, is that it?" he snapped.

"No"—there was a noted pause—"I can feel your emotions."

Sam hesitated at that. "Since when?"

Lucifer hummed in contemplation before saying, "Since I've been here with you." Then he curled his body around Sam's slightly larger one when the brunet grew suddenly still in realization. "Don't be ashamed of your feelings, Sam."

Sam swallowed around a sizable lump. He cleared his throat, not sure how to respond. "What feelings are you talking about?" Sam wanted to hide when he felt the blond laugh.

"Oh, I think you know which ones I mean..." Sam started to pull away when the arm around him tightened. "I appreciate them." The three words were said quietly, with no hint of sarcasm to them, and Sam found himself nodding faintly, at a loss for words. He felt lips press to the back of his neck softly, and his chest twisted not unpleasantly.

"I don't like sharing you, Sam..." The words breathed between the brunet's shoulder blades.

"Well, it won't be for long," he said, despite agreeing with him. He wanted to leave too. He was tired of hunting, saving the world, and fighting with his brother over his bad decisions, not necessarily in that order. Maybe that was why he'd fallen for Satan, because he was just like him. He was selfish, skeptical, cold, and he just wanted to be happy.

"There's nothing wrong with wanting to be happy," Lucifer murmured, his fingertips tracing indiscernible shapes on Sam's chest as they slowly snuck their way down, trailing over firm stomach muscles, the same shape, over and over. Stars. They were stars.

" _Mm_." Lucifer wrapped his hand around Sam's painfully eager body part. He began to stroke slowly but firmly, and his mouth had found Sam's ear. "I could give you _anything_ you want, just name it."

Sam began to pant, Lucifer's hand around him somehow feeling better than any sex he'd ever had. " _You_. I just — I just want you," he said roughly around forceful breaths. Then the hand around him sped up, and his toes tried to curl under him, green eyes glazing over, the sensation overtaking all his senses. It was too much but not enough all at once; he couldn't get enough of him. He wanted all of him.

" _Sam_..." Lucifer hissed as hot liquid began to run down his hand, and Sam gasped _his_ name over and over like a prayer.

* * *

Sam walked into the kitchen, almost tiptoeing. It was late, but he'd wanted a glass of water. Lucifer had offered to get him one, but Sam had also wanted to be able to say the next day, when Dean tried to accuse him of otherwise, that he _had_ been out of his room since Lucifer'd shown up. He knew it was stupid.

He sighed and picked up an empty glass from the counter, turning on the water gently. He held it under the faucet, letting his shoulders relax some. He really needed to just relax, just because he was back at the bunker didn't mean he was being scrutinized at all times. He was being paranoid. He lifted the glass to his mouth.

"Thirsty?"

Sam jumped as he spun around at the voice, spilling some of his water in the process. " _Cas_ , you scared me," he breathed in relief, because Cas was better than Dean _any_ day. The angel stared at him in silence from across the room. Well... any day he had Lucifer staying in his bedroom, at least.

Sam took a large drink from his glass. Then leaning back against the counter in the unlit kitchen, he shot Cas a curious look. "What's up?"

"Dean asked me to give him some privacy," the angel said in his gruff voice.

"Oh." Sam took another drink. "So you're just standing in here?"

"Yes, at the moment," he said, sounding tired even though Sam was pretty sure he shouldn't.

Sam nodded unhelpfully and finished off his water. He set the glass in the sink and started to leave.

"Sam, can I talk with you?"

Sam stopped just a few feet from the doorway. He held in a sigh and hoped for the best. "Yeah, uh"—he cleared his throat, looking back—"sure, Cas, what is it?"

"It's private," the angel said, and he moved closer to Sam, "for you, not me."

Sam grimaced. "What?" he asked, agitated.

Castiel motioned to the doorway. "We should sit for this." The angel walked into the study, and he took a seat at the table they'd sat at for their strange breakfast.

Sam sat down across from him, glancing around the room with apprehension. He couldn't shake the memory of the angel dropping him partway through it. "So, what's up?" he asked hesitantly.

"Have you asked Lucifer about the leviathans?" Sam's attention snapped back to the angel, and dark blue eyes stared at him expectantly. "He may be of help."

Sam blinked. "Oh, uh, yeah—no, I haven't yet." He leaned back in his chair, stretching out long legs and rubbing at the back of his neck. "I haven't gotten to it yet."

"Because of the sex," the angel said knowingly with a sigh, and Sam's eyes flew open wide. "It's okay, Sam, I've known about that since before Adam and Eve."

Sam just stared. He was pretty sure Dean was going to yell at him about this conversation in the morning, or whenever he found out.

Castiel leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table and clasping his hands, blue eyes serious. "Just don't accept his seed unless you're ready to be with child."

Sam's eyes widened impossibly more. "What? Is that actually a _thing_?"

Blue eyes didn't blink. "Dean and I have found a way that may allow Lucifer to be left alone."

Sam nodded as he chewed on the inside of his cheek, dark brows pushing down. "So you want to trade? His help for yours?"

"I would never," the angel said simply, and then, "Dean does."

Sam laughed, the sound humorless. "Right. I was going to help you guys, I said I would."

"We need Lucifer's help," the angel replied, "and Dean thinks leverage is necessary with him."

"Do you?" Sam asked, feeling defensive on Lucifer's behalf.

"I think it doesn't matter what I believe if the decision's already been made."

Sam exhaled loudly, and he shifted in his seat. Lucifer was right, they should just go back to the island; Dean didn't even trust him. Not to mention he'd offered to help Lucifer, and now he was planning to bribe him to help them. "That's bullshit."

"Well, there's a lot of 'bullshit' going around lately, Sam. Dean is aware of Lucifer's dislike for humankind, so he's being extra careful."

Sam started to protest. He stopped himself. It was true, Lucifer didn't seem to like humans, with or without his memories.

"If it makes you feel better, I firmly believe if he helps with the leviathan issue, it will only increase his chances of being free to roam the earth. After all, he was freed from his cage for a reason. It's possible it's a test."

Sam thought about that, something about it not feeling quite right, but with reluctance, he nodded anyway. "I'll ask him."

* * *

Sam walked down the dark hallway to his room. He stopped when he reached his closed door, and he let his head drop forward, his bangs softening the blow. He exhaled, puffed cheeks deflating slowly. He felt bad asking Lucifer for help, he didn't want him to feel used, and somehow, he felt like the fallen archangel could easily feel that way.

He closed his eyes, forehead still resting on the cool surface of the door, reminding himself the sooner they cleared all this up—because there were things that needed cleared up—they could just go back to just the two of them. He hadn't known if Lucifer would want that too, but it seemed like he did, and Sam now knowing that felt even more of an itch to get away from it all.

Maybe they could just skip from island to island, and interact with animals, and Sam could be stupidly into Lucifer... and Lucifer could stupidly encourage it all. And they could be happy.

Sam stood up with new resolve, squaring his broad shoulders, and he pushed open his door, to find his room empty.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Words of encouragement? Could really use them right now.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your guys's comments made smile and giggle, so I wrote this for you :)

Sam stepped into his room, his expression dropping as he searched the floor. Lucifer's clothes were gone too. Why would he leave without telling him, where would he—

"I'm here," was murmured into his left ear.

Sam closed his eyes slowly, refusing to startle a second time that night. "Where'd you go?"

"Gabriel wanted to chat," Lucifer said, snaking his arms around Sam's waist from behind, "I left him mid-sentence when I realized you were looking for me."

Sam swallowed, and he cleared his throat. "Oh... Thanks."

"Yeah, well—he was boring me anyway," was said flippantly. Then Lucifer inhaled deeply, his exhale tickling the back of Sam's neck, making the soft hairs stand up, and a shiver to run down his spine. "Now. What do you want to ask me?"

Sam grimaced slightly but pushed forward without hesitation, just wanting to get it over. He drew in a deep breath. "I have a favor to ask. Well. Dean and Cas do, but I do too, I mean... I'd appreciate your help if you could, but you don't _have_ to. I'd understand if you said no, and I'm sure we'll figure out what to do eventually, we always do somehow so—"

" _Sam_." Sam blinked. "Don't make me read your mind. Just ask me."

The tall hunter cleared his throat again, nodding as he regrouped his scattered thoughts. "These things called leviathan have escaped purgatory, and they don't know how to stop them or kill them, or if they even can be... stopped or killed, that is. They say they've tried to shoot them, stab them, burn them, chop their heads off, nothing's worked so far, at least not permanently."

"Leviathan?" Lucifer's voice had taken on a curious but unalarmed tone. "You mean the sea monsters...?"

Sam nodded, wanting to turn around, but Lucifer held him in place. Then the blond began to laugh, first silently then audibly. Sam frowned, and he struggled to get loose. Lucifer released him, his laughter only growing. "What's so funny?"

Lucifer sighed through his laughter, wiping at the corners of his eyes as he did, and Sam began to scowl. "How did you guys ever stop me? Honestly, I am _really_ disappointed in my former self right now."

Sam puzzled, green eyes narrowing. "What? So you can stop them? You know how to?"

Lucifer gave a disgusted shrug. "I mean, I don't know if I've ever put much thought into it before, but have you tried chlorine or soap to incapacitate them?"

Sam blinked. "You're joking?"

Lucifer arched blond brows, the tip of his tongue rolling along the inside of his cheek. "No, they're sea creatures. I'd say that'd be the simplest way, weaken them, then chop off their heads and keep them out of reach from the bodies; you might be able to melt them completely if you could get them to bathe in the stuff somehow. Or you could make them eat themselves if you want an even more dramatic way for them to go out. You'd just have to threaten someone high up enough to make the call, then off them afterward."

Sam smiled, eyes squinting at that. "What...?"

Lucifer shrugged again. "They're kinda stupid monsters." Then he scrubbed at spiky blond hair idly. "Daddy dearest didn't want to kill them, because he made them for whatever reason, so he just locked them up for eternity instead, kinda his forte. Anything else?"

Sam felt like a huge weight was lifted from his shoulders, and he smiled more genuinely. "No, nothing. Do you need anything from me?"

Lucifer grinned back at that, a small hum sounding in the back of his throat. "Actually, I can think of a _few_ things I need from you right now..."

Sam's smile grew as he shook his head, and he let the archangel pull him down the two inches to meet his mouth. He pulled back after a few moments. "I should go tell them first..."

"Or we could just leave them the answer and get outta here. They don't need us for this, trust me, and if they do they can call. 'Cas' just needs to gather up some product with his rogue angel mojo, and they'll be good to go." Lucifer bit at Sam's lower lip roughly, tugging at it. "Has anyone ever told you your dimples make them wanna fuck you until you can't walk anymore?"

Sam laughed roughly, and _fuck_ if he wasn't getting hard again already. "No, I don't believe so..."

"That's just _wrong_ ," Lucifer breathed, his face pressing into the side of Sam's as he seemed to struggle to catch his breath. "Sam, what are you doing to me? I can't get enough of you."

Sam struggled to hold in a groan as the sentiment echoed painfully in his own chest. Then the archangel rolled his lower body up against his, and he found himself suddenly in a hurry. "Okay, let's go, just make _sure_ my phone is working and Cas knows what to do."

"I've got you covered," Lucifer said back, a devilish smile curling his lips, the corners twitching eagerly.

The last thing Sam saw at the bunker was his bed covered in industrial size bottles of concentrated soap, reaching almost to the ceiling. Then he was opening his eyes to the beach house.

Lips crushed to his painfully, and Sam tasted a hint of his own blood even as his mouth opened obligingly to let Lucifer's tongue push its way in only to drag over his repeatedly, like he was licking it, the feeling somehow making Sam groan brokenly. 

"I want to fuck you _hard_ this time," Lucifer murmured as he pulled back, his hands gripping Sam roughly, leaving red marks behind that would surely turn black and blue later.

Sam gasped lowly, nodding. "Yeah, yeah, okay." His shirt was ripped open over his chest, and green eyes widened as his ruined top was pushed off his shoulders. Before he could say anything teeth clamped down on the left side of his throat, and he gasped again. " _Luce_..."

Lucifer's hand slid abrasively down his stomach, then grasped the front of his pants, squeezing him through them. " _Shit_ ," Sam cursed angrily, but then he was suddenly so hard it hurt.

"You want me, Sam?" Sam nodded jerkily, whining low under his breath when sharp teeth bit at his chin _possessively_ , because that was the only way he could explain it. "How much, tell me _how much_ you want me."

"Oh _fuck_ "—Sam's breathing was ragged, his large chest rising and falling with jerks—"Luce, I want you more than anything."

Lucifer grabbed the back of his head and jerked him forward. He whispered in his ear as he held him close. "More than Dean? Would you _stay_ with me here forever, Sam? Just me and you?"

Sam bit down on his lower lip hard. He nodded, the action growing more certain each time, his cheekbone grazing Lucifer's sharp jawline. "Yeah, just me and you," he said, hoarse.

Lucifer growled lowly. Then Sam was on his back and Lucifer was overtop of him. The tall brunet could feel the beach breeze hot and sticky, all his clothes gone. "Look at me, Sam."

Sam looked straight up into glowing blue eyes, the archangel's irises swirling like molten ice around a growing abyss, and a spike of healthy fear joined the toxic concoction fueling Sam's adrenaline rush.

"I'm going to make you _mine_ tonight." Sam tried to swallow but failed, his throat too dry and it choked him a little. "Do you want that?"

Sam continued to stare into swimming blue orbs. He wanted to ask what that entailed, and why it was necessary, and what it would do to his soul, how it would affect his relationship with Dean and Cas, what it would mean after he died, but instead, he just nodded. Once.

Lucifer met Sam in a chaste kiss.

And then Sam noticed an odd vibration in the air, tickling his skin. He suddenly felt soft brushes against his arms and his sides, his legs too, like a gentle breeze. He opened his eyes cautiously, and they widened as he took in the fallen archangel's looming black wings that were visible and brushing against him wherever the blond wasn't draped over his body. He saw the moonlight catch some of them, and they reflected off a bluish red color, like oil coated them. He started to reach out in awe—

" _Don't_." The words tight. "They can touch you, but if you touch them they'll burn you."

Sam slowly lowered his hand back to his chest, and he blinked rapidly, noticing for the first time how disheveled they looked. "Can you touch them...?"

Lucifer smiled somewhat, blue eyes dimming, and Sam felt his chest ache in response. "No one can touch them, they're cursed. It was part of my punishment."

Sam felt a knot forming in his throat. "I'm sorry."

Lucifer leaned down again, and Sam grew very still as feathers tickled the left side of his face. "I care about you, Sam, more than I can express to you with human words. You are my other half, it's why you carry my memories."

Sam felt Lucifer's forehead touch to his then, and a fierce feeling of protectiveness, want, need—so _encompassing_ he felt like he was drowning in it—and then, complete bliss filled his body from head to toe. He struggled to respond appropriately. "What do you need?"

Lucifer leaned in impossibly closer until he whispered against his mouth. "Give them back to me. My memories. I need them for what I'm about to do."

* * *

Sam woke slowly to a buzzing. And a vibration. " _Shit_ ," he mumbled into his pillow, and he fumbled for his phone on the floor by his side. He tapped the answer button blindly and placed it to his ear. "Yeah?" he grunted, his ribs protesting sharply.

"Sammy, s'that you?! We got 'em, the damn soap is working like a charm! Where are you? Cas is gathering all the soap he can find, and Bobby is getting a team together, we've got these bastards—Sam? Sam, you there?!"

"Nn— _yeah, yeah_ , I'm here"—Sam rubbed at his face but stopped short when his head throbbed viciously, and he felt like he might vomit—"sorry, uh, you caught me asleep, I'm at the island, Luce and I left last night."

Dean laughed, the sound giddy. "Well you tell that sonofabitch he's okay in my book. I can't believe _soap_ kills them! Can you fucking _believe it_? I mean, they just start melting too, you gotta soak 'em in it real good, but it's like the Wizard of Oz or some crazy shit, Cas and I—"

"Okay, that's great Dean," he said cutting in, "honestly, I'm thrilled for you guys. But, I'm going to have to call you back after I have a cup of coffee. Okay?"

Sam grimaced, Dean shouting something over the phone but not to him as he directed what sounded like new arrivals on where to go. " _Hey_ , glad it's working. I'll make sure to let Luce know," he added.

Dean cursed happily a few more times, then Sam tapped the end button with a silent groan. He didn't need a cup of coffee, he felt like he needed some angel healing juice straight in the veins. He couldn't remember falling asleep or what had happened beforehand, or anything really past leaving the bunker for the island.

He groaned again and rolled onto his back, giving up on thinking for the moment. Everything was too bright and painful, and he gagged.

"You feeling okay there, Sammy?"

Sam froze. Green eyes pried themselves open, and Sam felt suddenly much worse.

He remembered.

"Just. Stay calm." Lucifer was holding his hands up in front of him, palms out, the look appeasing if anyone else were doing it, but all Sam could see was—

" _You_." He tried to sit up but dropped back down onto his elbows in excruciating pain, rolling onto his side as it fully hit him like a wall of bricks. No. _No_. What had he been thinking? Offering him his lost memories and making him whole again? He'd seen it as soon as it'd happened, as soon as he'd taken them on, the shift was subtle but undeniable: the old Lucifer. The one who'd tried to kill everyone, who'd wanted to possess him, with the potential to do both again. Then Sam had blacked out—A desperate laugh made his ribs scream out in pain.

" _Sam_ , I'm going to help you..." Sam jerked away from the icy touch between his brows, and he began to army crawl towards the opposite edge of the bed. "Sam, _come on_ , I only want to heal you. Why is that so hard to _believe_?"

Sam cursed himself under his breath. What had he _done_? Dean was thrilled they'd gotten rid of basically sea monkeys that you could kill with dish soap, and Sam had lost all blood flow to his head and given Lucifer all the ammunition he needed to kill everyone. And it had _hurt_.

Sam gasped, giving up on his pathetic escape, because he wouldn't be able to get away from Lucifer even in top fitness. And his entire body felt like it had been broken into pieces from releasing the hallucination, memories, part of Lucifer, _whatever_ it had been. He was stuck on the bed. Injured. Useless. Alone. Green eyes closed tightly.

"Sam..." was whispered again, quiet disappointment the pervading sentiment, and the brunet clenched burning eyes more tightly. "I'm just going to heal you, try not to scream like a little girl, hm?"

Sam braced himself. Fingertips touched, and his body began to shake as a blinding light filled him like it wanted to rip him apart, and then it just disappeared all of the sudden, like it had never even been there. Sam heard a painfully familiar sigh, and he covered his head with his arms to try to block it all out, his chest aching wistfully.

"I can't heal you, if you reject it."

Sam refused to answer. He'd made mistakes before, but this one wasn't even _close_ ; he should've killed Lucifer when he'd had the chance, but he'd been stupid and now it was too late—

"That hurts my fucking feelings, _Sam_ ," was said more flatly, a hardness suddenly there, edging the words sharply. Sam heard clipped footsteps moving away and towards the door. "I'll be back later. Your phone won't work." With that, Sam was alone.

* * *

Sam pushed himself up with a grimace. The pain had subsided, some. Enough for him to make it to the bathroom and then out onto the porch.

The tall brunet stood at the top step of the curved deck, his right forearm up, resting against a support beam to help keep him upright. Pinched green eyes looked out onto familiar trees and the small glimpse of the beach that lay on the other side of some palm trees. It looked empty.

Sam grunted a breath of pain as he made his way carefully down the wooden steps. Then he was walking, his gait noticeably uneven, towards the white sandy shore.

Sam stopped at the demarcation of wet sand, standing on soft dry as he tried to ignore the emptiness that he'd woken with but had only been able to actually pinpoint once the overwhelming physical pain had ebbed some. It was worse though somehow, what he was left with, it was like he'd lost a piece of himself, because he didn't _only_ miss the Lucifer he'd developed a relationship with...

Sam blinked hard, ignoring when the discomfort behind his lungs only grew with his musings. He hadn't expected it, to feel so affected from losing the hallucination. It had surprised him at first, but in hindsight, it made a lot of sense. It had become a part of him, maybe a scary and painful one at times... but he'd grown to kind of accept it, silently and weirdly relieved he was never actually alone. But there at the end, it had been different, tempered, with a level of understanding and closeness at times no one else had ever offered him.

He rubbed idly at his stubbornly aching chest that felt painfully hollow, wondering when he'd become so dependent and who _exactly_ he was dependent on more, the hallucination or the amnesiac Lucifer. Not that it mattered, they were both gone now. Lucifer obviously had all his memories back, and he wasn't tempered by a non-corporeal existence either. Nothing was stopping him in his quest for human extinction.

Sam sighed, closing his eyes, and focused on the sound of waves crashing far off... possibly _also_ hoping the hallucination would appear. It didn't, and in the back of his mind he noted that he was a _complete_ mess and should really probably try to form a plan of escape, figure out a way to contact Dean; but instead, he just lowered carefully to the sandy ground. Wrapping his arms around bent knees, he let his head dip, and he just sat, hurting.

* * *

"I brought you your favorite salad."

Sam stared down dully at clasped hands. His heart had just jump started, but he refused to look up. The sun was gone, the moon was hiding behind thick clouds. It smelled like rain. And Lucifer had just come back.

"Look, it even has those garlic croutons you like. Extra."

Sam pushed himself up, the action wooden after sitting for so long, and he couldn't help himself; he looked over. Lucifer held a clear-covered plate in one hand. He was wearing one of the outfits Sam had gotten him, red graphic t-shirt and black shorts, his blond hair extra spiky like he'd been messing with it, his scruff darker, noticeably neglected; and he was looking at him in a quietly searching way that had Sam's chest twisting traitorously.

Sam ran a hand through his hair, struggling, but then he shook his head firmly before backing up a few steps to put more distance between them; he was only trying to manipulate him. He turned away and began the short walk back to the house.

"So, what? What you _hate_ me now, is that it, Sam?" was thrown dryly at his back.

Sam clenched his jaw and kept walking.

"Tell me the truth, it's because you wanted two of me, isn't it?" was shouted with less restraint. "Just can't get enough of me, can you, Sammy?"

Sam passed between two tall palm trees. Maybe Lucifer would lose interest and let him go or abandon him if he ignored him long enough, either one would work, that or maybe the archangel would just kill him—

"You know what? _Fuck you, Sam. Fuck you so much._ "

Sam paused at that. The explosion catching him off guard until he remembered too late the angel could read his mind. He hesitated then, swallowing softly as guilt somehow pushed its way into the too tight space behind his lungs where all his emotions had suddenly decided to take up residence, swirling together in some kind of sick joke.

He clenched his hands into fists, considering turning around.

"No please, go ahead and blindly hate me for just being _myself_ , for _existing_. Don't worry your sweet ass about it, I'm used to it." The archangel sounded more collected again, sarcastic too, but with it, Sam felt a keen bitter sadness that had been hidden. The guilt in his chest twisted, persistent. "You're not the first, and you definitely won't be the last, Sam, don't flatter yourself," was said more coolly, and the air around them felt like it dropped a few degrees in response.

Sam stood silent. He looked down at the ground, conflicting emotions buzzing through his body making his thoughts race but against each other, in a dizzying mad dash like they weren't his own, the disparity between them confusing as hell. "You're different," he finally said, impossibly hoarse, "why?"

"Of course I am, what'd you expect? I've had my conscious ripped apart and glued back together. I've been living two separate lives, one of which I was blissfully ignorant and the other was just 'SamCam' _twenty-four-seven_."

Sam wet chapped lips, unwillingly picturing Lucifer rolling his eyes behind him, and he nodded almost imperceptibly as he let out a held breath. "What do you want from me?"

"Right now," Lucifer said, his voice suddenly quiet, "I just want you to eat this damn salad."

Sam turned just enough to look over his shoulder, anxiety quickening his breath at the archangel's seemingly subdued request.

His chest fluttered with emotions he couldn't name at that moment as he met bright blue eyes straight on, Lucifer looking every bit like _Lucifer_ , the one he'd first met. But he was just holding a salad, not asking for something impossible or evil, like the end of all mankind or to inhabit and take control of his body. So he said, begrudgingly and with probably way too much emotion: "Okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please share your thoughts if you've any :)


	20. Chapter 20

"Beer?"

Sam glanced up, slowing his chewing as he stared at an offered beer. "Uh, probably shouldn't..."

Lucifer smiled somewhat at that, and he cocked his head a few degrees. Then it turned into a cup of iced coffee, straw included, like the ones Sam'd gotten them in New York. He lifted blond brows. "Would you prefer this drug?"

Sam cleared his throat and reached out just to end the conversation. He took an obligatory sip despite it being nighttime, then set it in the sand between them, twisting it to push it down into a sandy cupholder of sorts. He took a bite of chicken and chewed silently, relaxing somewhat as he focused on the breeze and sound of waves crashing.

"Gabriel is coming soon."

Sam swallowed and looked over, surprised. "What, why? Did you invite him?"

"Nope." The blond archangel stretched out his legs in front of him as he leaned back on his hands.

Sam watched him bury his toes in the sand almost like a little kid would, and he took another bite, chewing hesitantly. "So why's he coming?"

"He's taking the initiative I can only assume," Lucifer said. Then he laughed at nothing.

Sam's brows started to pull down and in as understanding slowly made its way to the front of his brain. "He's going to try to kill you?" he asked, carefully, then a frown pulled at his features when Lucifer merely laughed again, the sound more aggressive. "But why?"

"Does it matter?" Lucifer asked, sounding suddenly bored, and he swung his gaze over to Sam, an intensity swimming behind it. He tilted his head, leaning his upper body towards the brunet too. "Last impressions are hard to shake, wouldn't you agree?"

Sam blinked. "He thinks you're going to try to kill him again."

"Not try," Lucifer said, his tone curious, "I _succeeded_ , I watched his spirit disintegrate, it was terrible. His mistake in all this though is he seems to have forgotten _why_ he died at all. I only killed him in self-defense."

Sam cleared his throat. "Yeah, I remember that. Why didn't you want to kill him?"

Lucifer smiled at that faintly, his gaze drifting out to the ocean. "Would you want to kill your brother, Sam...?"

"No," Sam said, suddenly defensive, "but I never wanted to end all human existence either."

Lucifer rubbed at his stubbled cheek, and he exhaled tightly. "No, but you've wanted to get rid of all monsters before."

Sam opened his mouth to deny it, but then he stopped. It was true. "Only because they hurt people," he said, defending himself, despite knowing his excuse was weak.

"And people hurt people, and animals, and the earth." Lucifer turned his head slightly to shoot Sam a meaningful look out of the corner of his vision, like he knew they understood each other perfectly. "It's not so different. The only difference, _in fact_ , is my dear father doesn't really care about monsters, _despite_ making them, only his precious humans. They get _top_ priority."

Sam struggled to find error in his reasoning. "It still doesn't mean they should all be killed. I mean, I'm human, and you don't want to kill me."

Lucifer tilted his head to the side slightly, and he broke into a sly grin that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Is that wishful thinking, Sam...?"

Sam stiffened at that, and he squared broad shoulders defiantly. "I know you don't, or you wouldn't get so upset when I think it."

Lucifer looked away again. "Perhaps not," he said quietly. "You have a strange effect on me, Sam Winchester."

Sam laughed, the sound tired and unhappy. "Yeah, I know how that is," he muttered. He set his salad aside, only some stray lettuce left. Then he took a few long draws of the coffee Lucifer had gotten him. Dark brows lifted. "This is pretty good, where'd you get it?" he asked around the straw.

"I made it myself from memory. You like it?"

Sam looked over, dark brows lifting further. "Really?"

Lucifer nodded, clearly amused with him. "I made some adjustments, but it's modeled after the coffee you gave me."

"Oh." Sam felt suddenly unsure. "You, uh, you remember all that...?"

The blond's response was a wicked smile, and Sam felt heat rush up the back of his neck. He started to respond when Lucifer grasped his arm. "Hey, what—"

"Gabriel's coming now, I'm sending you to the other side of the island," Lucifer said point-black.

" _No_ ," Sam said in a hurry, before he was already there. "Let me stay, I'll stay out of the way—"

"Oh, I'm sorry, am I interrupting?" Gabriel stood barefoot just in the water. His stance casual, he wore a similar outfit to the one when they went to Hawaii together, lei and all.

Sam felt Lucifer's hand on his arm tense, cool fingers pressing into his skin.

Gabriel smiled, offering his empty hands out to see. "You left in such a hurry, Luci, I just thought I'd check on you, see how Sam is doing too. Hello, Sammy." The archangel flashed Sam an apologetic looking grin, and the hunter couldn't help but remember it was the same expression he'd shot him after killing Dean.

Sam's jaw flexed.

"Oh my Gabe, it seems you've forgotten to bring your little girlfriend," Lucifer said smoothly in response, despite his grip tightening around Sam's arm, and the other archangel's expression faltered. Lucifer raised his free hand, thumb and middle finger held close, and he arched blond brows solicitously. "Should I summon her...?"

" _Luc_ ," Gabriel said in a sudden hurry, taking a step forward but then stopping himself just shy of dry sand, seeming to think better of it, "I didn't mean anything, I'd never dream of hurting Sam."

"I'm amused you think you can lie to me," Lucifer said flatly, "you should just leave, before I change my mind about letting your head stay attached to your body."

Gabriel grimaced. "And you'll promise to just stay here and play house with Sam-o?"

"I'll promise you nothing," Lucifer said coolly, "you're not Michael, we were never destined to fight, just go while you still can."

Gabriel looked down at the water around his ankles, and he cursed under his breath. "Luc... you _know_ I—"

" _Go_ ," Lucifer said, and he shifted his weight subtly; Gabriel was gone.

Sam felt the hand on his arm relax, and then it was removed in a careful fashion.

He looked over, and he felt like something had wrapped around his heart and was squeezing it, because he was sure it wouldn't feel the way it did otherwise. He sat silent, waiting for the blond to say something instead of staring at the sand between his legs. The wind picked up, and there was an icy edge to it that didn't belong.

Sam cleared his throat softly. "So, uh, you were"—he cursed himself mentally but continued anyway—"you were saying you remember everything between us?" He regretted it immediately, and fought a scowl directed at himself when blue eyes turned up.

Lucifer spoke, his voice rough. "I don't need you to comfort me, Sam."

Sam raised dark brows in a poor attempt at innocence. "Good, 'cause I wasn't trying to comfort you. I mean"—he swallowed, his mouth too dry—"why would Sam Winchester try to comfort the _devil_?"

Lucifer's lips curled up softly at the corners. "You're an odd one, Samuel, has anyone ever told you that?"

Sam laughed humorlessly through an unsteady exhale. "Yeah, all the time, believe it or not."

" _Mmm_." Lucifer hummed, the sound strained with agitation, as he looked back down at the sand, but his shoulders had relaxed somewhat. "Are you tired?" The question abrupt.

Sam blinked a few times. "Not really, why?"

The archangel's piercing blue gaze flicked up to meet Sam's unsure green. "I have somewhere I'd like to take you."

Sam hesitated, because he didn't want to set a precedence regarding the relationship between them, not that there was one at all, well... He chewed on the inside of his cheek, struggling. He should just ask him to send him back, not to Dean, but New York would be fine. Although—"Where is it?" he asked, not able to help himself.

"I'm sorry... was it not obvious there I was being intentionally vague?" Lucifer asked back, brows raised. Then his lips cocked up on one side puckishly when Sam rolled his eyes. "I need a distraction right now, and I don't want to leave you alone so soon after that heartwarming family reunion. What do you say, Sam? I promise, it doesn't involve the harming of _any_ humans whatsoever. Scout's honor." The archangel held up three fingers, only managing to make himself look even more disreputable.

And Sam laughed, he couldn't help it. "Ah, yeah. Okay," he said, nodding begrudgingly, "why not?"

"That's the _spirit_ , Sammy," Lucifer said excitedly, and he stood up, offering a hand down to him.

Sam sighed tiredly, feeling like he was making a huge mistake, but he placed his palm in Lucifer's after a moment's hesitation; and the archangel's hand closed around his securely, pulling him up.

 


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eeee, I hope you like this!!

* * *

Sam stepped carefully, following behind Lucifer. He was wearing a pair of charcoal sweatpants and a fitted, white t-shirt, Lucifer having offered to dress him when Sam somehow forgot he was only wearing a pair of shorts.

The tall brunet pulled up behind a stopped Lucifer, and he sniffed, his heart pounding harder than usual, partially due to exertion but also from excitement. The archangel had taken them to the Inca Trail in Peru, and they were hiking towards Machu Picchu. Sam had read about the ruins in a freshman religion studies course, but he couldn't quite believe he was about to see it. "How far is it?" he asked, his low voice noticeably breathy.

Lucifer glanced over his shoulder, having to look down at Sam, his footing a few inches higher on the side of the mountain. He, unlike Sam, seemed completely comfortable after a couple hours of hiking, calmer even. "We'll be there in an hour, I skipped most of the trail for you."

Sam let out a puff of air and nodded.

"Are you thirsty or feeling dizzy?"

Sam blinked hard and sniffed again. "Ah, now that you mention it, I'm a little dizzy and my head kinda hurts."

"Hmm," Lucifer hummed, sounding displeased. He turned deliberately to face him, and he raised his right hand, two fingers together in a familiar way. "Could I...?" he asked quietly, blond brows lifting the slightest bit.

Sam grimaced, his head starting to throb with earnest behind his temples as if on cue, and he couldn't help but feel like he was about eight years old not wanting to take medicine. He looked out on the tree-covered mountains to his right, and he drew in a deep breath, filling his lungs, hoping it would help. Lucifer had mentioned at the start that altitude sickness was a possibility, but he'd brushed him off, thinking that it would take a day or two at least. He didn't want to leave yet, but he didn't know if he could relax enough so the archangel could heal him either.

"You don't have to relax, you just have to accept it," Lucifer said, blue eyes narrowing, but he kept his voice even, "I only want to help you right now, Sam."

Sam blinked hard, the dizziness getting worse. He thought he might have swayed, and he felt a hand touch to his shoulder to confirm it. His chest tightened at the simple touch, and he looked down at the rocky ground between them. "Fine. Go ahead," he forced out.

"All right, but _only_ because you asked so nice," was said, dry.

Then before Sam could roll his eyes, he felt it; fingertips, gentle and cool, Lucifer's _soul_ reaching into him, because that's what he'd suddenly realized it was as it filled him, but it was too late. He pressed lips together, clenching his jaw. It was blinding white, so powerful, and terrible, and _pure_ , it felt like it might explode him into a million pieces. It stretched out, searching like a lion on the prowl, and Sam realized he was running from it. Holding back a noise of distress, and as a small breath escaped flared nostrils Sam stopped fighting it.

A soothing feeling rushed out from his core, wrapping around his limbs, the fog in his mind lifting as oxygen-deprived lungs filled with air so rich he could taste it, and a soft grunt escaped his parted lips... in the form of a certain fallen archangel's _name_.

"Sam..." was whispered in his ear in response.

Sam gasped, green eyes opening with a start. He took a reflexive step back, stumbling slightly, and he stared at Lucifer with wide eyes. He took a second to speak. "Sorry, I — I meant _thanks_ ," he said, hoarse.

Lucifer stood frozen for a long beat, his expression indiscernible, but then he blinked, and he turned away once more. "Let's go before the couple behind us catches up and I have to kill them."

Sam exhaled shakily, ignoring the hopefully idle threat. He began to walk again, following the blond and feeling better than he had all day.

They hiked in silence after that, Sam taking in the awe inspiring view around him, craning his neck to peer down into the deep valley cut between the tree-knitted mountains, or looking up into a clear, pale sky that somehow felt closer and unimaginably expansive as he filled his lungs with thin but clean air, committing it all to memory.

After a while, Sam found himself every so often glancing at the quiet blond ahead of him, his curiosity flaring. He wondered why he'd wanted to come here, and he jogged his memory of the ruins they were nearing. The Incans were pagans he remembered, and Machu Picchu was built for an emperor, whose name he couldn't remember. Sam frowned, and his thoughts shifted when he came up empty, because he wasn't sure if Lucifer didn't want to walk beside him, or if he thought Sam didn't want it... or if it was something else entirely.

Lucifer slowed suddenly, and Sam scowled as he drew up next to him, despite slowing some himself. "Why do you keep reading my mind?" he asked when they were side-by-side.

The blond didn't look over. "Why do you want to walk beside me?" he countered.

Green eyes narrowed. "I _don't_ , and I also don't want you to read my mind."

Lucifer sighed. "The Incans, as you know them, they had several gods. There was Viracocha, he made the earth, the sky, other gods, and the humans."

Sam nodded, remembering more. "Yeah, he was like uh, God, right?"

Lucifer smiled somewhat. " _A_ god," he said, "but the most important god to them was not the master creator but his son, _Inti, the god of the sun_."

Sam frowned. "Yeah... wasn't he married to the goddess of the moon or something?"

Lucifer laughed, surprising the brunet. "You shouldn't think so lowly of yourself, Sam..." Before Sam could respond he added, "That was a metaphor, translations should not be taken as gospel."

Sam blinked rapidly. "Wait... you're telling me that _you're_ Inti?"

"I am the Morning Star," Lucifer said, "and I am intrinsically bound with darkness, yes."

Sam started to ask another question when he stopped mid-step. He looked down on the ancient city in the mountains, and he felt Lucifer's presence heavily. "Have you seen it before?" he asked, kind of in awe.

"Only in the eyes of those who prayed to me," he murmured by his side, "I was cut off from communicating when I was imprisoned, they awakened me, allowed me to prepare for my escape. Their sacrifices were less useful, just added to the demon tally." He sneered in distaste.

Sam felt torn as he looked over the impressive ruins, and he tried to imagine what it must have once been like. A nation that revered Lucifer as their god. "Did you care about them?"

Lucifer took a few seconds. "After being exiled from all that I knew I did not care for anyone, Sam," he said coolly, "let alone the very reason for my _imprisonment_." He turned to face the brunet then who had tensed at his words. "You judge me, you _shun_ me, all because I don't like your species. Why should I like it, hm? Tell me that, Samuel. Why should I care at _all_ whether _any_ of you die? What difference should it make to _me_? I never wanted your creation, I had to watch you take away the _one_ thing I was made to love, I was forced into exile, _locked up_ , and then given a death sentence to be dealt by my closest brother. Humans are the monsters in my eyes, no one else."

Sam hesitated for only a second. "But humans didn't do that to you, your family did."

Blue eyes hardened like ice. "How _dare_ you—"

"It's true _though_ ," Sam said defensively, cutting him off, despite his pulse spiking, "you always expect me to see reason, and all I'm saying is, humans couldn't have done any of that to you, and they didn't ask to be made how they were anymore than you did."

"So you'd like me to what? Just overlook all the damage they do, because they were made that way?" Lucifer raised blond brows, blue eyes still cold.

Sam blinked rapidly. "No, just — give them a chance... like I'm giving you. I mean, what about me, I wouldn't be here right now if you'd already killed everyone."

The angel wet his lips. "You're the exception, Sam."

Sam shook his head faintly. "I'm not, there are much better people than me—"

"That's not what I mean, I don't care about good and _bad_ , those distinctions are for _humans_ struggling to know the path that my MIA father drew for them just to test their loyalties to feed his ego."

"Then what...?" Sam asked.

Lucifer shifted closer until their chests almost brushed, and his voice dropped. "I mean you affect me, like no one else has. I'm tethered to you, Samuel"—he leaned in closer, and he whispered against his chin—"and I have to be honest — I _like_ it. If this is my new inprisonment, I'm not complaining."

Sam felt his chest jerk when he tried to swallow. Their conversation had shifted so quickly he wasn't prepared for it, and he couldn't seem to get the message to his legs to back away from the archangel. "And you just expect me to be okay with that, being stuck with Satan?"

"No," Lucifer said more quietly, "but I know you are. You still want me despite _everything_ , I can feel it right now."

Sam closed his eyes, doing his best to fight the very feeling he was referring to. "I don't," he lied.

"Maybe you should leave the lying to me, Sammy, because you're crap at it..."

Sam struggled. "But isn't it— _weird_ , you know, being, being so much older than me?" he asked, because that was one thing he'd noticed since Lucifer'd regained his memories. He felt like he'd matured, a lot, not that Sam didn't like it...

"Oh _dear_ , I was wondering when you'd _notice_ ," he said, blue eyes turning up to the sky, "if only I could be just years old like _you_ , Sam, then this'd be so much less _awkward_."

Sam shot the angel an unimpressed look. "Nevermind," he muttered. He started to step back when a cool hand cupped the back of his head. He tried to speak, but his lungs refused to help.

" _Sam_..." Lucifer growled, tugging him closer by the back of his neck, causing their lips to bump. " _Kiss me_..."

Sam felt his mouth grow impossibly dry, and he closed his eyes. This wasn't a hallucination, this wasn't an unaware Lucifer either... this was the devil, and, and...—he sounded _just_ like Dean. Sam husked just one word, his voice scratchy and conflicted, but urgent, "Okay." Then he met Lucifer's lips, warm and hungry, the feeling better than anything he could imagine.

 


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I really hope you like this. :)

Sam blinked. He looked around the bungalow as he placed a bracing hand on the wardrobe beside him, disoriented. They'd just transported back, the sun was coming up, and he hadn't slept at all yet. He wasn't tired though even though he was pretty sure he should be.

"Oh, yeah, I healed you for that too."

Sam's head snapped around, and he found himself on high alert as he watched Lucifer stroll casually over to their bed. No, _his_ bed. Lucifer's. Not Sam's. It wasn't theirs. Sam cleared his throat, his gaze falling somewhat.

Lucifer smiled over at him, his expression somehow torn between curious and knowing. "Though we could always use this for _other_ activities..." Blond brows raised solicitously.

Sam clenched his back teeth together, his hand dropping to his side, and his broad shoulders stiffened. He'd kissed the fallen archangel, but that had been it. The people behind them had caught up after how ever many minutes it'd gone on, he wasn't sure, but it had gotten pretty heated, so there was that... "That's _not_ going to happen," he said, hoarse.

Lucifer's smile turned more into a grimace as he sucked on his teeth, and then he sighed. "I was afraid you might say that."

Sam tilted his head to the side, his jaw flexing as his anger grew.

"Calm down, Sam," Lucifer said calmly, raising his hands in a mollifying gesture, and acting like _he_  was the reasonable one. "It was a _joke_ ," he said, shaking his head in mocking exasperation.

Sam seethed. " _Really_? That was a _joke_? You didn't mean it _at all_?"

Lucifer crossed his arms, then slowly raised his right hand, dipping his chin, to hide his mouth behind his fist. Sam glared harder at him, and blue eyes danced with amusement as the archangel turned his upper body away some, shifting his weight. "All right," he said, too loudly and with obvious effort, "then what would _you_ prefer to do, _Samuel_?"

Sam swallowed, then pressed his lips together as he thought about it. What would he _prefer to do_? He'd _prefer_ to fucking leave and never see the fallen archangel again, even better, he'd prefer for Lucifer to... His thoughts stopped when he noticed blue eyes hardening like stone, and he felt a twinge of guilt as he studied the blond before him. He blinked slowly and exhaled with regret. Then he offered, begrudgingly, "A movie maybe...?"

Lucifer lifted his chin to rest it on his fist, and when he spoke his voice was quiet and eerily calm. "You know, you can leave whenever you'd like, Sam. I won't keep you here against your will."

Sam pinched one eye up as he struggled not to take him up on the offer immediately. He ran a hand through his hair, pulling on dark locks as conflicting emotions whirled in his chest. "This is _really weird_ for me."

Lucifer blinked.

Sam let out a noise of frustration, pulling harder on his hair, and he started to laugh, the noise breathy and sounding desperate even to his own ears. "I don't know what to think. I'm confused, and—and I'm _sad_ ," he said, opening up to the archangel, because he _missed_ him, well, the one he'd developed feelings for; and he was never coming back—

" _Sam_."

Sam looked up, his chest heaving softly, too many emotions feeling like they were stuck in his throat, so he kept his mouth shut.

Lucifer flexed his head to the side, and a grimace flashed across his features. "Sam, I'm sorry, but you're right, he's gone. It's just me now."

Sam felt his heart ache deep inside his chest, and he nodded faintly. He'd lost people, he was used to it, he could handle it. He found himself sitting on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands, and they were shaking. He clenched his eyes shut, and focused on keeping his breaths even. Then he felt a hand settle gently on his left bicep, and he tensed.

"Did you have a specific movie in mind?"

Sam turned his head, not lifting it from his hands, and he found himself looking into close, bright blue eyes that made his chest twist painfully. Lucifer was crouched down, resting on the balls of his feet. He swallowed softly. "A stupid comedy."

Lucifer's lips cocked up on one side. "Gotcha." He stood up then and scanned the room. He sniffed and a curved TV much like the one on the yacht appeared, along with a dark wooden stand beneath it at the end of the bed. He clapped outstretched hands together, humming in thought, and a few boxes of candy and a tub of buttered popcorn appeared on a tray by Sam's side. "Am I forgetting anything?"

Sam looked between the food and the TV, and he shrugged still resting his head in his hands. "Pizza is good."

An oversized pizza box appeared behind the tray, and Sam felt his lips curl up the slightest bit. He let his gaze dip to the floor between his feet for a few beats, and then he exhaled unsteadily, gathering himself. He could do this. Hang out. He didn't know _why_ exactly he was doing this, but he was, so it didn't matter. He sat up slowly as his mind settled, and he met Lucifer's gaze, hesitant. "Have you seen Hot Fuzz...?"

The blond tapped his chin in a deliberate fashion, lips pressing together. "No, I haven't actually."

Sam dipped his head, and a small disbelieving laugh escaped. He couldn't believe he was doing this. He rubbed at the side of his face roughly. "Ah, it's really good actually, I think you'll like it."

"I'm a fucking clump of clay, _mold me_ , Sammy."

Sam sighed through his nostrils, and he slid back onto the bed, grabbing up the box of pizza. He opened it to find it covered in vegetables, and he didn't know how he felt about it. He picked up a piece as the TV flicked on, and Lucifer dropped onto the other side of the bed, lying on his side facing him as he left a few feet of space.

Sam felt an uncomfortable rushing in his chest as the light outside dimmed, like it'd just been turned off, making the only real light coming from the curved screen at his feet.

"Just heavy clouds," Lucifer said casually, and he leaned over, taking a piece of pizza from the box on Sam's lap.

Sam cleared his throat silently as he watched Lucifer take a bite, his attention seemingly focused on the flashing screen, the movie starting. He started to chuckle as he chewed, and Sam looked up to find the main protagonist visibly upset. He gave himself a mental shake and took a bite, focusing on the movie.

* * *

"So much bloodshed..."

Sam hummed lazily in agreement, the movie nearing its end with the murderous townsfolk slowly being picked off one by one. He took a sip from one of the beer bottles that'd appeared when he'd distractedly wanted something to drink an hour back. He was resting on his elbow, mirroring the archangel. He smiled when the priest was taken out. " _Finally_ , I hated that asshole."

"Why, Sam, that's bordering blasphemous," Lucifer said, and Sam's grin grew as he stretched back to place his empty bottle on the nightstand, and he blindly grabbed a full one.

He settled back on his side as he twisted off the top. He took a drink, and shrugged one shoulder. "I'm an atheist."

"I see."

Sam smiled, taking another drink as he held in a laugh. Maybe he was drunk, who cared. He rested his bottle on the white comforter in front him as he stared at it. "Yeah, I mean, I've never technically seen God." He looked up when he realized what he'd said.

Lucifer was staring at him, his expression unreadable. "And me? Gabriel? Castiel? Demons?"

Sam sucked on his lips, cleaning off the residual alcohol from them. "I don't know."

Lucifer lifted blond brows. "Maybe I should be an atheist too, because I don't believe in him anymore."

Sam snorted. It wasn't funny. He snorted again, lifting his bottle to distract himself. Then he tilted his head some in acceptance. "Why not? It's your life, do what you want."

"Sam..." Sam took another drink. "You're _inebriated_..."

Sam laughed into the mouth of his bottle but managed to take another drink before lowering it. He found himself smiling at Lucifer. He was kinda like Luce, maybe a mixture of him, the hallucination, and the devil Sam had known. He could just focus on the parts he liked. "Hey." He blinked. He'd moved closer to the archangel.

Sam felt fingers graze his as his beer was taken from him. Then he was studying tempting red lips. He watched a tongue flick out, and it was forked. Sam startled, and Lucifer gave a smothered laugh.

"Sorry, did I scare you?"

Sam felt his heart racing, and he closed his eyes. "Fuck you."

Lucifer's laughter grew, and then Sam felt the bed lift in front of him, and he rolled onto his back as footsteps told him he was alone on the bed. "Where are you going?"

"To the other side of the island," Lucifer said quietly. "You look tired."

Sam would have rolled his eyes if they were open. He'd been turned down, he wasn't stupid even if he was drunk. 


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long, fellas! I was hit by a bout of writer's block. But... here I am now! Ha hah. Victory is mine. Heh. Okay. Really hope you guys like this

Sam sat on the top porch step. It was midday, the sun almost directly above, and he was still drinking. He didn't need to be told when to sleep, and he didn't need to be handled like some small child.

The tall brunet emptied the last of the beer onto his tongue. Then he swallowed, setting the empty bottle beside him and alongside a small army of matching brown glass bottles. He blinked a few times when his vision got a little blurry. He needed more; he was out.

He looked around, heat prickling at the back of his neck, thinking about how long it'd taken him last time to cross the private island. And then he remembered the hallucination joining him for the trip, and Luce finding him that night upset and comforting him...

He puffed out a hard exhale and shook his head, stopping when he started to sway. He didn't want to think about any of that.

"Lucifer!" he shouted. He waited a whole second. "Hey, I'm out of beer!" Sam blinked slowly. Nothing. He grumbled under his breath and stood up with effort. He sniffed, peering around the house and at the jungle behind it, and he sighed. " _Jerk_ ," he mumbled and began haphazardly down the steps.

* * *

Sam pushed branches out of his face, getting smacked more than he'd like as he stomped through the thick foliage. He ignored the tightness in his chest as he continued on _alone_. He missed the hallucination, a _lot_ , and he knew that meant he was being too hard on the Lucifer he'd been left with; but he also didn't care to be nicer. He remembered how much the fallen archangel had upset him, terrorized him, made him feel helpless, _hopeless_. And he didn't know if he could forgive him—

Sam stopped abruptly, standing at the edge of the trees and looking out on the island below. He swallowed, his mouth too dry, the sun too hot, and he was pretty sure he was going to end up rolling down the hill if he attempted it. He grimaced. "Lucifer?"

He stood there, waiting. Then, just when he was about to give up a chilled, welcome breeze whipped up around him, cooling his skin and ruffling his sweat dampened hair.

He looked behind him, no sign of the fallen archangel, and his chest twisted traitorously, his heart pounding harder against his ribs.

"Can I join you?" he asked, still trying, his low voice rough. He held in an uneven breath, unwanted emotions curling in the back of his throat. "Please? I just... I just really need some company right now."

Sam looked down at the ground, and an unamused breath forced its way out when he was still alone. When had he become so uncomfortable with being by himself, or was it not even that? Was he just this bothered not having some form of the fallen archangel around even if it was to just pester or terrify him a little? He exhaled unsteadily, resignation filling his thoughts that were confusing as hell. "Right. I guess I didn't expect you to care."

"And why's that?"

Sam stood, frozen. He forced his lungs to relax enough to inhale carefully. He didn't look back. "You came."

"I'm not sure why you're so surprised, Sam. All I've done since returning has been for you. You wanted me gone earlier, trust me."

Sam didn't respond right away. It was true. All of it. At least, he thought it was... He ran a hand roughly over his head, struggling. "I don't know what I want, I"—he paused, trying to gather his alcohol-scattered thoughts—"I'm just upset, and I need to know you're not going to try to kill everyone."

"Is that _all_?" The words dripping with sarcasm.

Sam turned around against his better judgement. His heart jump-started at the sight of the blond archangel, and he clenched his hands into tight fists when he wanted to reach out. Maybe he should've drank less. "I'm serious," he persisted, "I can't even think about being with you or whatever the hell this is if that's your plan."

Lucifer wet his lips, and then drew in his lower one between his teeth. He smiled somewhat, cocking his head to the side, and he started to laugh softly when Sam scowled in response, broad shoulders stiffening. " _Mmm_ , Sam, do you understand exactly what you're asking of me?"

Sam nodded, his scattered thoughts on edge. "Yeah, no apocalypse, no human annihilation, everyone gets to keep on living."

Lucifer rolled his eyes. "They'll still die though, just not by my hand. The earth is not going to hold up much longer, it's _dying_. You're _killing_ it. Haven't you read the bible?" Blue eyes widened expectantly, and Sam cocked his jaw to the side, dark brows furrowed. Lucifer sighed. " _Sam_ , human life on earth is _supposed_ _to end_ , everyone is going to be put where they 'belong' for their afterlife, and then the earth will heal itself eventually."

Sam frowned. "Can't you just fix it, the earth? You're so powerful, why can't you just repair the damage?"

The blond took a step closer, and Sam resisted the urge to back away from him when what felt like electricity filled the air between them. "I'm flattered... I am, Sam," he said softly, blue eyes uncomfortably intense as they held his green gaze, "but do you _know_ the repercussions of playing God?"

"Well"—Sam gave an exaggerated shrug, agitation spurring him on without too much thought—"he's not doing anything about all this, he's disappeared, _right_? No one can find him... and he didn't help with the Leviathans, that was you. So maybe he doesn't want to be in charge anymore. Maybe that's why you're here." He ignored how bad that sounded, stubbornly focusing on the preferable end product. If the choice was certain destruction or the devil saving them all, well... it wasn't that hard of a decision for him.

The fallen archangel stared hard at him, and then ever so slowly, his lips began to curl at the edges. "Oh _Sam_... I knew there was a reason I wanted you so much."

Sam felt a flush run up the back of his neck, and he covered the heated skin with his hand as he cleared his throat with effort. "Yeah, about that, we gotta take it"—he motioned between them with his free hand, dark brows raising meaningfully, when Lucifer smiled coyly—" _this_ , slow, like, _really slow_ , and I can't make any promises. If I had to make a decision right now about it, it'd be no, but I'm willing to wait — and see." Sam felt another wave of uncertainty after he'd finished, but he ignored it; because the thought of having no Lucifer felt worse than any other option at that moment. Sam was tired of being unhappy purely on principle, and Lucifer did make him happy, even if he was maybe completely evil. Shit. 

"Samuel..." Lucifer had shifted closer, and his hand was cupping the side of Sam's face. His thumb ghosting over his dark stubble as his piercing blue eyes followed the movement. "We can go as _slow_ as you need, you'll find I can be very patient."

Sam nodded just barely, and he found himself studying curled lips up close. He dipped down the couple inches needed to bring his own level with them but didn't meet them. "Thanks," he whispered roughly, then, "one more thing."

Lucifer hummed softly, bright blue eyes still distracted.

"We — we can't let Dean know, what happened," he said privately, like he was worried his brother might overhear the words somehow from the other side of the earth, "how you're whole again, I mean. He can't _ever_ know, got it?"

Lucifer grinned slyly at that, his gaze sharpening, as he remained hovering just out of reach. "Fortunately for you, keeping secrets is another forte of mine."

Sam huffed a small laugh, and he felt a little dizzy so he leaned in and pressed his nose against the archangel's cheek. "I drank too much," he admitted roughly.

Lucifer hummed again. "MmHmm..."

Sam smiled sheepishly as he continued to nuzzle against the blond, enjoying the sharp feel of his scruff against his lower lip. He inhaled deeply, drawing in his intoxicating scent. "Could you heal me?"

Then Sam felt Lucifer's lips brush just under his jaw, and his mind cleared a little. They trailed back and caressed the sensitive skin where his neck, jaw and ear met, and his body felt more coordinated. "Tell me _when_..." was murmured, the silky smooth words sneaking into Sam's ear and tickling down his spine. Lips parted and covered his ear lobe, sucking gently, and Sam felt his stomach settle and his skin cool.

"That's, ah, that's, yeah, I'm better," Sam struggled to get out, and he felt disappointed when Lucifer's mouth pulled away; and the archangel stepped back from him. He ran a hand through the back of his hair in agitation as he reminded himself what he'd just said. _Slow_. He needed to take this _very slow_.

"Gabriel wants us to visit."

Sam looked up in surprise at the abrupt change in conversation. " _What_?"

Lucifer shifted his weight side to side, seeming suddenly upbeat. "What do you say? Should we go?"

Sam hesitated, suspicion crawling into his thoughts. "What for?"

Lucifer tilted his chin back, an excited grin taking over his features. "He says a party, but who knows what kind."

Sam frowned. "How many kinds are there...?"

Lucifer laughed at that, and Sam couldn't tell if he was happy or really angry. "What do you say, Sam, he needs to know. Yes or no, you make the call."

Sam thought for a moment. It could be a trap, or it might not be and turn into one, or maybe Gabriel was trying to make amends. He looked around the jungle, everything was green, the sun peeking down in spots where the canopy wasn't quite thick enough, the air feeling nice now that he wasn't drunk out of his mind. He remembered how the untrustworthy archangel had been hesitant to step onto Lucifer's island for whatever reason. "Could we invite him here?"

Lucifer sniffed. "Okay, he'll be here in a few, and he's bringing _Kali_."

* * *

"Come now, Sam, one drink won't hurt you. I _insist_."

Sam sat in the soft, white sand beside the Hindu goddess, Kali, holding a glass with some frozen alcoholic concoction in it. The goddess wore a flowy red sundress with black plumerias all over it that almost reached gold, strappy flat sandals that wrapped up around her calves. The sun was still high in the sky, the air was hot but fresh as a breeze blew in from the sea, and there was a pod of dolphins swimming just beyond the reef. "Okay, just this one," he said with a sigh.

He took a sip, coconut and rum sweet on his tongue. He was going to become an alcoholic at this rate, but then again, he was considering being the devil's bitch so did it even really matter?

"You're different from the last time we interacted."

Sam hummed as he swallowed. "Well, I'm not under your control right now," he reasoned sourly.

"True," the goddess said primly, a look of obvious disgust taking over her features as she watched Gabriel and Lucifer laughing over something several yards away. She lowered a pair of oversized gold sunglasses, that had been sitting in her hair, down to obscure her eyes.

"They seem to be getting along..." Sam hedged.

"Appearances can be deceiving."

Sam breathed a humorless laugh and took another sip, adding nothing. He watched the two archangels more closely. Lucifer had his arms crossed casually across his chest, and Gabriel had his hands in the air, arms waving and mouth open, like he was mimicking someone falling... probably to their death by his hand if Sam had to guess. Gabriel was worse than Lucifer in some ways when he thought about it, with his constant killing and flippant disregard for anyone's feelings other than his own. Even with his time in the cage, there were moments when Lucifer almost felt like he cared as much as, if not more than, Sam did or even could. It was strange...—Lucifer's attention cut over to him, and Sam felt his body start to heat up by the simple touch of his gaze, and he held it as he took another sip. He hated to think he was getting 'used to' the whole fallen archangel, but maybe it could be a good thing.

Lucifer winked at him and then turned his attention back to a laughing Gabriel.

"Why are you here?" he asked Kali without preamble.

"I had no choice personally. Gabe wanted to come. He _cares_ for Lucifer... not much unlike you."

Sam cleared his throat. "How did he come back?"

"You mean after his own brother murdered him?" she asked icily. Sam nodded just barely. "I don't know. He just showed up a few weeks ago, whole once more, with no memories of his time gone."

Sam frowned. "Were his personal memories temporarily gone too?"

"No, why?"

Sam shook his head, and he pushed himself upright as Gabe and Lucifer started their way over, the goddess following suit. "No reason."

"Is our favorite little human hungry?" Gabriel asked as he casually wrapped an arm around Kali's slender waist.

Sam scowled, and he felt Lucifer's arm brush against his as he stopped close beside him.

"Sam doesn't need to be made more uncomfortable by our presence, Gabe," Lucifer replied softly, surprising Sam, and Gabriel too if the guy's eyes popping were a good indicator.

Sam cleared his throat, and he looked over to meet bright blue orbs up close before looking away when his pulse spiked.

"How about a swim? It's unseasonably warm here," Gabriel said more subdued, pressing his lips gently to Kali's cheek.

"Sam?"

Sam nodded at Lucifer's question. "Uh, sure. Sounds good."

"Excellent." Gabriel glanced around. "Luc, do you mind if we use the bungalow to change?"

Lucifer blinked. "Be our guest."

Sam watched them walk off with furrowed brows. "Can't they just use their, uh, powers...?

Lucifer's hand touched lightly to the side of Sam's side, but somehow it felt significant. "They're giving us privacy."

Sam's brows pulled down further. "For wha—" Hands had pulled him forward and down slightly and parted lips were over his mouth.

" _Sam_..."

Sam sucked in a sharp breath, an almost painful rushing inside his chest muddying his thoughts. Teeth nipped too sharply at his lower lip once, twice, then Sam opened his mouth to protest and teeth latched onto the tip of his tongue, holding it capture a few beats. When Lucifer released it he snaked his tongue inside Sam's mouth, his touch shifting to more gentle, almost apologetic. Sam began to respond, his heart thumping against his ribs like it wanted to escape as he tasted Lucifer's mouth again. A hand slid up, touching the side of Sam's neck, an imperceptible tremor to it, and Lucifer whispered softly against his chin, "So I could do that."

Sam blinked a few times, his lower lip throbbing slightly along with his pulse. "Oh," he said dumbly. He thought about saying he hadn't agreed to kissing the fallen angel, but, he found himself more disappointed it had only been a kiss. He noticed a smirk curling Lucifer's lips, and he scowled. "I _really_ wish you wouldn't _do_ that."

"I don't hide anything from you, Sam, it's only fair," Lucifer chided playfully.

Sam scoffed. "Right."

"It's true." Lucifer touched the hem of Sam's shirt. "Can I?"

The tall hunter felt indignation fill his chest. "Yeah, whatever," he said dismissively.

The archangel eyed him, and Sam felt heat run up the back of his neck as he waited somewhat impatiently. "You need to learn to _relax, Sam_ ," he said as he finally began to nudge his shirt up over his stomach and then chest slowly, cool fingers trailing along his exposed skin. "It's so nice to see this whole..." he murmured, and Sam realized Lucifer was observing his hands touching his body, and a deep flush ran up his chest, reddening his tan skin, without his permission. " _Fascinating_ ," was said idly, and then Lucifer looked up, dark blond brows lifted expectantly. "Arms."

Sam raised his arms with a tight swallow, and his shirt was pulled over his head. His shorts were uncomfortably tight as he stood shirtless, so he reached in and adjusted himself discreetly. "Thanks," he forced out.

" _Anytime_ , Samuel," Lucifer said with a salacious grin. Then he pulled his own shirt over his head, his grin only growing as he dropped it down beside Sam's top. "Shall we?" he asked, tilting his head towards the calm, crystal clear waters.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments guys; they really made me smile. ^_^

Heavily lidded, green eyes stared up at a clear blue sky.

Sam had his head cocked back, resting on a solid shoulder, the sweltering sun behind him. The hairs at the nape of his neck gently tickled sunburned skin underwater, but he was more interested in the fingertips that had just begun to gently toy at the string of his shorts. He'd only had the one drink, but he was starting to think the goddess'd made the alcohol stronger with her powers—that—or he just didn't care as much as he'd thought...

"So how long do you two plan to stay here?" Gabriel's voice still had a falsely chipper tone to it, which the archangel had taken up at the exact same time Lucifer had decided to hug Sam from behind, and Sam had not only allowed it but even taken it a step further, using the devil to rest on.

They were out about 100 yards in the crystal clear waters, standing with the water up to their chests. Sam was slouched back against Lucifer, his upper back resting against the blond's sturdy front and his long legs stretched out lazily in front of him, feet floating an inch or so off the soft, sandy bottom. A relaxing current of cool water passed around his lower legs, the water higher up and around his feet considerably warmer. Fingers tugged again at his string, and material pulled tight across his admittedly growing problem only worsening his situation; Lucifer seemed to have that effect on him though, more so than anyone before.

" _Samuel_..." was murmured teasingly in his ear, and Sam felt a nice heat rush down his spine. He didn't care to feel bad about it though, because it _was_ good, and it didn't hurt anyone. Devil or not. He tilted his hips back some to encourage a wandering thumb that had begun to stroke the sensitive skin just above the waist of his shorts, teasing him. "Is this _slow_ enough for you...?"

Sam grinned begrudgingly, and he exhaled in frustration, not willing to take back what he'd said yet.

"A few centuries at least maybe?" Gabriel asked louder.

Lucifer's thumb snuck between Sam's shorts and heated skin, resting just shy of even hotter skin. "Such nice skin, Sam... Do you even _know_ how much I wanted to actually touch you like this when I was trapped in your thoughts?" was whispered roughly in Sam's ear, and the tall brunet found himself feeling intoxicated by the whisper light touches and impossibly heated words. "To _ravish_ you, that _shell_ of me, he didn't appreciate you _nearly enough_. I would make you feel _so good_ , Samuel."

"A few decades then, after that I know this perfect spot in the Arctic—"

A painfully slow path was traced inside the tall brunet's shorts, cool water sneaking in too, an inch to the left, then an inch to the right, over and over. The skin heating more with each pass, the touch still featherlight, as it drifted down. A small gasp escaped Sam's lips when the tip of his dick was finally brushed, and even more blood filled it with a painful want on cue. " _Luc_."

"Oh um...—"

Lucifer growled lowly against Sam's throat, the previously used nickname taunting him. "Tell me what you need right now, Sam," he husked against his skin, "I can give it to you."

"I... should we just—I mean, can we stay for this?"

Sam's eyes shot back open, and he glared at the openly ogling archangel he'd forgotten about just a few yards away. He found his footing, but a placating hand on his hip kept him stationary. Kali was silent beside her boyfriend, her expression almost morbidly interested. Sam opened his mouth to say 'fuck no' to the outrageous request.

"Don't be a _fool_ , Gabe," was said softly as a chin settled lightly on Sam's right shoulder, arms slipping casually around his waist, "you know I've never been interested in that type of thing. Give us some privacy."

Sam blinked, and their two guests were gone.

He cleared his throat, feeling suddenly less sure alone, and he found himself wishing the last couple days had never happened, that he and the amnesiac Lucifer—the hand on his stomach slid down carefully and stroked him lightly over his shorts, and his hips bucked forward instinctively and into the angel's palm, intensifying the touch. " _Shit_."

"He was hiding things from you... the part of me you miss... you do know that, don't you?" Lucifer's words were quiet against his neck, curious almost. Sam didn't notice the blond's hand moving back up to rest on his lower stomach. "He had plans with Gabriel, to take over Heaven, that's how he was going to remedy his situation, that's why Little Brother showed up ready to fight me as soon as he knew I was whole again. He got cold feet, worried I'd rat on him...."

Sam blinked rapidly, surprise slowing his thoughts. What? He couldn't mean, he wouldn't have—" _What_?"

Lucifer smiled softly against the brunet's pounding pulse just beneath his chin, his words humorless. "It's true. What do you think he meant when he asked you to be _his_? He was going to use you as _his_ vessel. Sneaky wording there, but it got the job done, and that's why he needed his memories back. He didn't know how to inhabit your body without them; he tried. I stopped it for you." Sam closed his eyes, because the words hurt too much, like a knife to the gut, even though he wanted to believe he was lying. "You trusted him _too_ much, Sam. I would never lie to you about that, take advantage of you like that. Do you know why?"

Sam swallowed thickly, confusion filling his thoughts, and his chest felt suddenly too full and completely empty somehow at the same time. He flexed his jaw as he glared at the shore and considered just leaving. "You're _lying_."

"I'd never," was said more quietly, "not to you. Because I, unlike _much_ of my family, value trust, and loyalty, Sam. Two things no one I've _ever_ cared for has willingly given me, not until you."

Sam squeezed burning eyes shut, and he ignored how his heart flipped traitorously inside his chest at the last three words. "How do I know you're telling the truth?"

"Because I have no reason to lie to you. You're softening to me, anyone can see that, and making you question my amnesiac self doesn't bode well for me. I'm telling you — because I _refuse_ to lie to you."

Sam nodded woodenly as his mind drifted back to his last night with the amnesiac archangel. Luc hadn't wanted his memories back, at all, he'd been _clear_ about that as soon as he'd found out his true identity. That night though, he'd asked him to be his, he'd seen his injured wings... then he'd asked Sam for them back, said he needed them for what he was about to do... _shit_.

The tall brunet began to move forward, hands releasing their grip from his waist without protest. His mind spun as he walked awkwardly through slowing water. When he reached the shore he stopped and dropped down onto wet sand. He wrapped his arms around bent legs and pulled his head down to hide his face, trying to keep it together. His broad shoulders began to shake.

"So you know. He didn't know how much it would affect you."

Sam froze, the smooth voice closer than expected. He kept his face hidden. "I'm supposed to _believe_ that?" he asked, his voice scathing.

"He didn't know about our past interactions, not intimately. He'd never felt the complete devastation that being a vessel caused you."

Sam clenched his eyes shut tightly, refusing to remember. He said nothing.

"I understand how you feel"—Lucifer's voice slowly took on a harder edge despite its softness—"I remember when Michael did the same to me. That is... followed his 'Path' instead of actually giving a fuck about me."

Sam let the words sink in, and after a few beats he slowly turned his head. Still resting on his arms, he glanced up at the blond out of the corner of his vision. "I remember that, before the pit. You tried to talk him out of fighting you. You never believed he'd go for it."

Lucifer smiled on cue, but the expression didn't quite reach bright blue eyes. "I mean the first time, before I was cast out. We were closer than any of our brothers. I thought he'd listen, that he would care about my reasoning, but he never cared for anyone but our father."

Sam swallowed softly. "What was your reasoning?"

Blue eyes flicked down, meeting his green gaze.

Sam cleared his throat as he still rested on his arms. "I mean, I've heard the story and everything, but I figure there's a little more to it, right?"

The archangel cocked his head as he continued to hold Sam's gaze. "I thought I knew better than him, and I thought I could win. There's not much more to it."

Sam sat more upright, as an unexpected feeling filled his chest. "So, a son who thought he should and _could_ lead better than his dad? That's it? That was your terrible sin?" he asked, and he felt a disbelieving laugh rattle his chest silently at the thought; because if his dad had been immortal he would have definitely done the same at some point.

Lucifer nodded slowly with arched blond brows. "The price eternal punishment."

Sam laughed again, but audibly, his thoughts a little dizzying. "So you decide to destroy daddy's most prized possession to get back? Which seems to be exactly what he _wanted_ you to do."

Lucifer grinned coyly at that. "I am not one to be manipulated so easily, Sammy. He wanted me to try, not _succeed_. If this is actually another chance for me to do right, it's _only_ because Michael was decimated in the cage, and what's destroyed in there cannot be brought back."

Sam laughed more sharply, his thoughts slowly relaxing despite slight hiccups along the way. Green eyes shifted down to the white sand, and the brunet began to dig his fingertips into it, cold wet sand getting under his nails. He curled his fingers in towards his palms. "Yeah, if Dean had died when our dad was still alive he might've tried harder with me too."

Silence followed the statement. A cool wind rustled gently through Sam's hair, and he glanced up to shoot the archangel a shrewd look. "I never said you could touch me."

The wind went dead. "You looked uncomfortable," the blond offered.

Sam snorted, and looked out on the calm sea. Then his mind slipped back to a moment he hadn't given much thought. "The other night..."—he hesitated—"why can't I usually see your wings?"

Lucifer shrugged. "Because I don't want to blind you." Sam blinked, and the blond grinned puckishly in response. "You only saw them then, because we were in the process of bonding, you were safe at that point."

Sam nodded uncomfortably, and his attention shifted to the blond's back, studying, as he pointedly ignored the anxiety the statement had caused. "Why couldn't I touch them then too?"

The angel leaned back casually blocking his view, crossing his left ankle over his right deliberately. A sly smile crawled up his features. "Do they fascinate you, Sam?"

Dark brows lifted. "What? _No_ —I mean... kinda." Sam grimaced at the memory, and he busied himself with wiping his hands off on each other, sand falling into his lap. "They looked... injured. Do they hurt?"

Lucifer said nothing at first, his amusement falling away. When he spoke up, it was abrupt. "I should go, if you—"

" _Wait_." Sam realized he'd reached out and was holding the archangel's arm.

Blond brows lifted unhappily, and the hunter felt a healthy dose of fear flare inside his chest. He softened his grip but didn't let go. "I mean, please... don't go. I'll drop it."

He released his hold then, and Lucifer didn't leave. They sat in silence again.

"If it helps any, I think Gabriel cares a lot for you." Lucifer flicked his gaze back over at the words, and Sam cleared his throat before continuing, the blond's intense blue eyes doing weird things to his insides. "I mean..."—he struggled—"he killed Dean, Michael's vessel, _repeatedly_ , but he left me alone completely."

Lucifer shifted closer, and he leaned in some, invading Sam's space. "Don't mistake affection for fear, Sam. Do you know what I would have done to him if he'd _ever_ done that to you?"

Sam felt a cold shiver sneak down his spine, and he met the close piercing gaze. "It's true though," he said roughly, persisting for some reason, "even Kali says he does."

"Let's talk, about _something_ _else_." The words said icily.

Sam shrugged, feeling suddenly stubborn. "Sorry. That's all I've got right now. Wings and brothers."

A hand touched to his jaw, and Sam felt a cool breath on his chin, cooler than he'd expected. The air around him was suddenly colder too, and the sun was _gone_. He drew in an unsteady breath. His eyes fell shut.

"Let's not talk then," was husked.

Sam bit down hard on his lower lip as the fallen archangel moved even closer, their sides pressing up against each other, lips grazing over his chin questioningly. His pulse hammered in his throat, and he nodded just once, before he was being pushed back onto wet sand, a hard, cool body covering his and blotting out everything else.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	25. Chapter 25

So, I had had a note here, saying I wasn’t sure if anyone was still enjoying this and was subsequently not planning to post anymore. However, it appears there are still some out there really enjoying this, so I will be continuing. Thanks for the support, guys. Really. 


	26. Chapter 26

Sam felt a cool hand on the back of his neck, another sliding down his tone side, approaching low slung shorts, when his mind decided to remind him harshly who exactly was touching him: Lucifer. “ _Wait_.”

Lucifer pulled back, on his hands and knees over him, his blue eyes so bright it was like they were glowing. “Too fast?” he asked, an unhinged quality to his voice.

Sam started to nod but stopped short when he noticed Lucifer’s hands were once again trembling. His dark brows pinched together, and Sam frowned. “Are you okay?”

Lucifer’s lips pulled into a smile that showed too much teeth and only had Sam more concerned. “I’m fine, Sam,” he said, his voice almost breathy.

Sam’s frown deepened, and he sat up, Lucifer moving up onto just his knees to give him space. Sam looked up at him, an odd feeling slowing his words. “You’re lying to me...”

The fallen archangel closed his eyes, and he gritted his back teeth together, his jaw muscles jumping. “So what, you lie to me all the time,” he said, flat.

Sam thought back to the last time he’d noticed his hand shaking... it had been when they were kissing too, early on when Gabriel had been visiting. He cleared his throat, hoping his thoughts weren’t being overheard at that moment. “So, uh, yeah a little too fast. Maybe we could go somewhere less isolated for a while?”

Blue eyes opened back at that, an intensity behind them that made Sam’s mouth go dry. Lucifer leaned down to murmur against his lips, his hand steady, “You name it, we’re _there_.”

Sam blinked a few times, the obliging response surprising him. He hesitated. “A bar?”

There were suddenly colorful lights and music shook the walls. Sam looked down in surprise, he was wearing proper pants and a shirt, shoes too, and then he felt a finger hook around his pinky. He met blue eyes under black lights, and they did glow. Sam felt the air in his lungs catch.

He wet his lower lip, feeling much better somehow with people drinking and laughing and dancing around him. It made it all seem more simple. “You want a drink?” he asked, leaning towards Lucifer, who was also appropriately dressed, raising his voice somewhat to be heard over the upbeat song.

“Do you always drink so much?” was Lucifer’s teasing response.

Sam shrugged. “Ever since I acquired a personal angel who can heal it away, I do,” he said dryly, hiding an answering grin when one was flashed at him. “Come on, you’re paying, right?”

Lucifer’s grin grew. “Oh, Sam, I’d pay for _anything_ you wanted.”

Sam pretended to nod thoughtfully as he moved through the tight crowd, the tall brunet making a relatively straight path for the bar at the back wall that could easily seat a dozen. He called over his shoulder, “I’d really like to end world hunger.”

Sam took a barstool, and he looked over to Lucifer as he slid down beside him. He raised his brows questioningly, waiting.

Lucifer waved over the bartender, and surprisingly she left the person she’d been waiting on to take their order. “Two gin and tonics,” he said smoothly.

Sam continued to sit in silence, feeling somewhat hopeful or something equally stupid as he waited for an answer. After the bartender dropped their drinks off in record time and left, Lucifer turned to shoot him an appraising look, Sam stared back.

“World hunger?” Lucifer didn’t seem amused or upset, just oddly serious.

Sam felt his lungs tighten, and he exhaled with effort as he said, “Yeah, I want that.”

Lucifer pressed his tongue into his lower lip, grimacing somewhat. “And what about overpopulation and lack of clean water?”

Sam narrowed his gaze. “Clean water too then.”

Lucifer took a sip from his glass but continued to watch Sam out of the corner of his vision. “That’ll make overpopulation even worse...”

Sam growled. “You said _anything_.”

Lucifer smiled at that, and he gave an amused nod. “It’s yours, Sam.”

Sam blinked. “Wait, wha— _really_?”

Lucifer took another drink and nodded idly. “If that’s what you really want.”

Sam smiled, he felt almost giddy, and he laughed. He took a swig of his drink, euphoria causing him to laugh again in relief. Dean would _never_ believe this if he told him. He looked back over at a quiet Lucifer, grinning warmly at him. “It _is_ ,” he said emphatically, and then with meaning, firmly holding the blond’s disarming blue gaze, “Thank you, Lucifer.”

Lucifer grinned crookedly at that, and he leaned in towards Sam. “You’re welcome, _Samuel_ ,” he husked playfully against his cheek.

Sam swallowed hard and nodded faintly, not quite able to manage a breath in until Lucifer leaned back into his chair. He looked out at the dance floor as he worked on finishing his drink and slowing his racing heart. A toe began to tap the tip of his shoe to the catchy beat, and he turned back to the blond in surprise. “You like music?”

Lucifer rolled his eyes as he sipped on his drink. He lowered it lazily to say, “You really should try reading the bible.” Sam huffed an amused breath. “But yeah, I _do_ like music, Sam.”

Dark brows lifted in interest, and Sam bit down on his lower lip as he thought. “Wanna dance?”

The music punctuated the silence between them, and then Sam broke into a smile, laughing under his breath in disbelief, when Lucifer simply stood up to answer, offering out his hand.

* * *

Sam laughed harder, his side hurting as he dropped back into the barstool he’d left abandoned for at least an hour. He happily gulped down a water that had been left for him, and he grinned around the glass as a hand squeezed his leg. Lucifer singing softly in his ear, lowered down beside him.

“Sam...” was whispered then, “you’re a strange human, do you know that?”

Sam choked somewhat on his water as he set his almost empty glass down with a clunk. He sniffed, gathering himself, a stupid smile still stuck on his features. He shouldn’t have been surprised Lucifer could dance amazingly, but he didn’t think anyone would fault him for being shocked he seemed to enjoy it. The archangel had insisted it was only because of ‘all the touching.’ Sam gave a distracted shrug. “I’ve been told that my whole life.”

“I like it.”

Sam looked up, his green eyes wide, as he found himself surprised yet again that night.

Lucifer was studying him curiously. “I like you.”

And then... a soft smile tugged at Sam’s mouth, and he felt an odd tingling in his chest as an apprehensive knot began to form in his throat. He cleared it gently, his chin dipping somewhat as a flush ran up the back of his neck. “Yeah, same here.”


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little weekend post to show you guys I care. :) I will try to post again before it is through!

“Why here?” Sam asked, his thoughts light and quick, despite the drinks he’d had. They were back at the island, standing on the beach Sam had only been to one other time. He was in a good mood, a genuinely good one, for the first time in what seemed forever as he took in the beautiful scenery.

The moon was full and big, lighting up the soft sand, casting giant rocks in a play of shadows and its pale glow, the sky crystal clear and scattered with a thousand stars against its midnight blue backdrop. He glanced over at a slightly grinning Lucifer as a warm briny breeze ruffled his dark hair, cooling his heated cheeks. “Because of the heat?” he asked, remembering what the archangel’d said before about how the cold bothered him.

The dirty blond played at the corner of his mouth with the tip of his tongue, thinking over the simple question. Then he answered, trained on the crashing dark waves ahead with a quiet thoughtfulness, “No, I just thought you’d like it...”

Sam turned to him slightly, his brows raised. He didn’t say anything, because he knew it would just come out too eager or too pleased in the mood he was in right then. He nodded instead, chewing on his upper lip as he did to distract himself. The weird thing was he believed him for some reason.

Lucifer cleared his throat abruptly, filling the silence. “What do you wanna do now? Hm?”

Sam exhaled slowly, unsure.

“We can do whatever you want, Samuel. Your _wish_ is my _command_.”

Sam smiled faintly at the teasing words, and he glanced down to meet lively blue eyes that had shifted to focus on him at some point. “Why don’t you pick this time?”

Blond brows raised. Lucifer stepped closer. “What are my parameters?” His words abnormally intense.

Sam laughed, the sound breathy. “Ah... no killing or destruction.”

Blue eyes turned up to the star-blanketed sky. “Geez.”

Sam laughed more, and he lowered himself carefully to the sand to relax. He tilted his head back to watch the once archangel above him puff out a disappointed breath. “Come on, is that all you really want?”

The blond tilted his head vaguely, and Sam couldn’t help but grin again. After a few beats of silence Lucifer lowered down next to him in the sand with a begrudging sigh. He wrapped his arms loosely around bent knees and gave Sam’s shoulder a nudge with his. “Tell me about you.”

Sam blinked. “What about me?”

Lucifer sniffed, nonchalant, running a hand over his hair and spiking it up more. “I don’t know. _Anything_.”

Sam sat silent for a few beats, his thoughts jumbled. Then he tried to push through the fog to answer somewhat coherently. “I’m gay. Like _really_ gay,” he offered. The tall hunter felt weird, saying it out loud, and so matter-of-factly. He’d never felt bad about it, not on a personal level at least, but he had felt bad about the girls he’d led on unknowingly, like Jess; and he did regret not telling Dean sooner. “We moved around a lot”—his voice surprisingly rough—“when I was young, so I never really dated any girls, not seriously at least, not until Stanford, and then when I did... it just wasn’t for me.”

He earned an unseen smirk for that.

“We have a lot in common.”

Sam looked over in surprise. “But you’re an angel, I mean—you were. Does that even count?”

Lucifer grinned lazily at him. “Am. _Still_ am, Sam. And yeah, it does. Half of my brothers and sisters are too, or some combination. Our vessels are not random.” He tilted his chin towards Sam, his grin only growing. “Tell me something else.”

Sam thought. “I don’t like being told what to do.”

Lucifer hummed agreeably with a slight incline of dark blond brows.

“And ah, I, uh...”—Sam trailed off as fingers began to lightly trail down his side in a curious way, and he cleared his throat lightly, the sensation going straight to his head. “I seem to uh, have an affinity for the devil...”

Lucifer huffed an amused laugh, resting his face into the side of Sam’s neck and making the tall hunter’s breathing jump as he grazed his lips lightly over his pulse just under his chin. “I want to kiss you, Sam,” he mumbled.

Sam closed his eyes, and he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t what he’d wanted to hear from the dirty blond. He knew if he kissed him though it wouldn’t stop there. He missed him, his former partial self—or whatever—a _lot_ ; and he was finding the feelings he’d had were quickly attaching themselves to the fallen archangel breathing softly against the side of his throat. Maybe even stronger than they were before, or maybe he just thought that because it was so surprising. He swallowed gently. “Let’s go to the house,” he managed roughly.

Sam felt soft material under him suddenly, giving under his hand when he pushed down. They were on the bed, and blue eyes were staring into his green with a burning intensity that made his breath catch and his thoughts grow impossibly light.

“Is this what you had in mind?” Lucifer asked, grinning crookedly but with an uncertainty that caught Sam off guard.

He nodded in response, not bothering to look around, because he was sinking into extremely bright blue orbs. Had they always been so bright? He was sure he’d have noticed. “Yeah,” he said, then, “tell me something about you.”

Lucifer didn’t blink, his lids only drooping slightly. He shifted closer to Sam, his hand touching to the side of the hunter’s neck. “You wanna know something about me?”

Sam thought he nodded, a cool breath on his cheek distracting him.

“I don’t know what I’m doing here,” was said somehow with a mixture of amusement and complete confusion. “I _need_ you, Sam.”

Then Sam felt Lucifer capture his lower lip between his teeth, and he let his eyes slide shut. Then demanding hands were holding him close, pulling him closer, and he was wrapping an arm around a muscular waist, shifting further onto the bed as Lucifer leaned down over him, pressing their mouths together hard, and Sam let his lips fall open, and Lucifer _groaned_ , the sound bordering distressed, as he slipped his tongue inside.

 


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second post this weekend, woohoo :)

Sam had his arms up, his shirt being pulled off with a curse. Then he was helping Lucifer with his, the blond having to remove his hands from Sam’s pants to let him get it off.

Lucifer’s hair was spiked up messily, and his blue eyes were grinning the way only they could, and Sam found himself smiling back like an idiot. Then he groaned when Lucifer began to work on his zipper again, his knuckles grazing Sam’s sensitive lower stomach.

“Can’t you just make them disappear?” he asked breathily, receiving a chuckle in response, Lucifer giving his pants a sharp tug down.

“Now what fun would that be?” Lucifer murmured as he leaned back up. His penetrating gaze scanning up and down Sam’s body, he rested his tongue on his lower lip for a few beats, his exposed chest rising and falling softly. “Sam, how are you so beautiful?”

Sam felt heat rush up into his chest, and he dipped his chin slightly as he grinned somewhat. He ignored his pants that still hung around his knees, and he gave his head a shake. “Ah, yeah, I don’t know,” he said, at a complete loss of how to respond. Then he carefully lifted one knee off the mattress, pulling his pants down further, then the other, and he dropped them off the side of the bed, left in just his boxers. He glanced down at Lucifer’s pants. “Need help with those?” he asked, fighting back a nervous laugh.

“Mm, yeah,” Lucifer said, and he flashed perfect white teeth at him. “Be my guest, Sam Winchester.”

Sam did laugh at that, and he shifted some closer, his nervousness only growing as he settled one hand on the guy’s pants waist. He tugged at it almost absentmindedly as he looked down at him, and he felt an unsteady hand on his side that made his chest tighten. He exhaled slowly and began to undo them, then he left them there hanging loosely around his hips. “You really meant what you said earlier? In the bar?”

Lucifer gripped his side tightly, leaning in. “I keep my promises, Sam,” he whispered into his ear.

Sam blinked rapidly and nodded, a plethora of emotions welling in his chest. Lips pressed to his, and he felt hands grasping his face as Lucifer tilted his head, coming back in at an angle so he could meet them even better.

“ _Sam_...” Lucifer growled against his mouth, and he began to kiss him more aggressively, the tremor in his grip going unnoticed as Sam kissed him back eagerly. The dirty blond felt hands on his back, touching him like they needed him, and a low groan hummed inside his lungs as he met Sam’s tongue with his own, carefully guiding him back until the tall guy was flat on his back.

Sam blindly pushed down Lucifer’s pants, wanting less clothes between them, and he felt the blond kick out of them. Then his eyes shot open when Lucifer lowered down, only two layers of thin material separating their touching lower bodies. Sam gasped when teeth nipped at his throat, and then Lucifer began to move against him.

“ _Fu-uck_ ,” Sam breathed, a rough laugh tickling his neck, and he felt like his eyes might roll back into his head as Lucifer set a steady pace, rocking their lower bodies together. “Luc...”

Teeth nipped harder at his neck. “ _Ah,_ ” Sam protested, “too rough.” But then Lucifer was kissing the throbbing spot, and moving more slowly against him, his body over Sam’s feeling like it was meant to be there. His touches rough but careful somehow at the same exact time, like he really didn’t want to hurt Sam.

“I don’t want to,” was whispered in his ear, and Sam would’ve complained but he really didn’t care at that moment he’d read his mind. His hands slid down, settling on covered hips, and he hummed mentally, unsure. Then Lucifer began to suck on the skin just over his collarbone, pressing his tongue down repeatedly over the sensitive spot, and Sam pushed them down without a second thought.

“Mmm...” Lucifer grinned, the sentiment heavy, as Sam began to stroke him slowly. He closed his eyes, and Sam watched him in a sort of awe. His chin dipping, lips parted slightly and red, hair sticking up at all angles and pale sculpted arms flexed as they held him up over him; and his intense expression at that moment so pure it caused something to twist deep in Sam’s chest. Lucifer was _gorgeous_. He saw blond brows lift at that, and he breathed a rough laugh. It was actually nice, not having to say everything he thought. He sped up his hand around him, his own body part jumping when it drew a pleased hum from the fallen archangel.

Brilliant blue eyes opened, and Lucifer stared down at him like he was the only other thing on earth at that moment. “Do you want me, Sam?”

Sam’s breathing hitched, and he nodded almost imperceptibly. “Yeah,” he croaked, “I really do.”

Lucifer pushed his hips forward, sliding through Sam’s hand on his own a few times. Then he husked, “ _How_?”

Sam let go of the blond and pushed his own boxers down, letting them drop off his feet as he thought. Was he really going to do this? He was, was he unsure about it still though? How was he supposed to know what the right thing to do was, or did that even matter in this situation? His breathing picked up its pace, the tall brunet struggling not to lose his shit—

“Sam.” Blue eyes were close, and Sam felt a hand firmly grasping the side of his face, a thumb lightly trailing his sharp jawline. “Relax...”

Sam’s eyelids dipped, his green eyes glazed somewhat. “Sorry,” he breathed, and he flashed an apologetic grin, then he felt lips press gently to his like they wanted it gone, and his eyelids slipped shut. Lucifer’s body lowering down onto his, his cool skin pressing fully to his heated, Sam let his hands roam. Lips were at his ear, jagged breaths on his cheek.

“Like this,” Sam blurted, and he pressed his face into the side of Lucifer’s, enjoying the scratchy feeling of the blond’s cheek against his nose, “like this is good.”

Lucifer said nothing, but his hand began to slide down. Then Sam gasped when two slick fingers slid over his entrance. Then they rubbed back and forth deliberately, heating the skin more with each pass but not pressing until he nodded jerkily. Sam groaned as Lucifer pushed up into him. Lucifer. Fuck. _Lucifer_.

“You like it?”

Sam remembered the fallen archangel, and he refocused, feeling a surge of guilt on his behalf. He nodded on instinct, but then long fingers slid out only to slide back in and curl up, finding a certain spot. “Oh _God_.”

“ _MmHmm_.” Lucifer grinned coyly. “I could get used to the sound of that...”

“ _Shit_.” Sam tried not to panic, but then fingers were spreading apart and he couldn’t have even if he’d wanted to. “I’m, I’m good, I’m ready,” he said, feeling suddenly impatient.

Fingers slipped out, and Sam felt suddenly empty. Lucifer placed a hand on his lower stomach as he situated himself, guiding Sam’s hips up slightly. “I’ve wanted this for so long,” he murmured, the words sounding almost like they weren’t meant to be overheard, and Sam tried to swallow around a sudden lump.

Lucifer looked down at him as he lined himself up, and Sam braced himself but then he paused. “You are important to me, Sam.”

Sam didn’t blink, shocked at the unexpected declaration, because that was exactly what it felt like. A declaration of feelings... for him, and he felt his eyes begin to burn slightly as he still refused to blink. “I, uh...”

“You don’t have to say anything back,” the fallen archangel said, and his lips twisted into a puckish grin. “I know how you feel,” he said, but before Sam could argue with that Lucifer’s slick blunt tip was sinking into him, and all thoughts but being filled left him instantly. He groaned, and Lucifer growled lowly as he leaned down, sinking in deeper, and deeper.

Sam felt Lucifer’s forehead rest against his own once he was fully inside of him, his shaggy blond hair mixing in with Sam’s silky brown. His jagged breathing cutting against Lucifer’s almost absent one. Then he began to move.

Sam felt a slow, drawn out groan slip from his lips, because Lucifer was moving in a way that he’d never felt or thought possible. His hips moving perfectly, the action causing an overload of pleasure to fill him, exciting every nerve in his body, until he thought he might explode and then it would gently drain, only to fill him again but more intensely, almost like he was pouring his soul into him. Lips were pressing to his chest now, and then Lucifer’s tongue began to tease his left nipple.

Sam arched up, and _fuck_ if he wasn’t getting close already. He grasped Lucifer’s face and pulled him back up needily, kissing him, wanting to show him how he made him _feel_.

Lucifer kissed him deeply, still moving, in and out, over and over, Sam making noises each time, his low voice desperate and euphoric music to his ears.

Sam felt a sudden familiar tightening down low, and then Lucifer’s hand slipped between their stomachs as if on cue, wrapping it around him and squeezing. He pressed his head back, arching his neck, and then he felt his release, pulsing tightly around Lucifer, hot liquid spilling onto his stomach and on the archangel’s hand. Then he let out a breath of relief. “ _Wow._ ”

Lucifer grinned down at him, and he lifted his hand to lick Sam off of it, sucking on the outside of his hand as he held his gaze, still moving but more carefully. And Sam’s tired eyes grew suddenly wide. “Does that taste good?” he asked, his voice rough and crackling like he’d been asleep.

“ _Mmm_.” Lucifer licked up his middle finger crudely. “I could eat it _anywhere_ , Sam I Am.”

Sam found himself laughing in surprise, and then Lucifer leaned back down and began to fuck him suddenly hard. Sam groaned at the overwhelming sensation, and his tired cock gave a twitch. “Yeah, _fuck_ , yeah...” Lucifer growled, and there was a sudden whooshing sound.

Sam blinked rapidly, and he could have swore he saw enormous black wings just before Lucifer came. But green eyes fell shut at the feeling, Lucifer pressing into him, kissing his neck tenderly with each pulse, softly saying his name, and Sam couldn’t think of anything better as Lucifer filled him.

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
